Barry Bird Emails/brawl

summary: THERE'S GONNA BE A BRAWL TONIGHT.

CAST: Barry Bird

Scene: Computer Room

Page Title: Compyman

Date: September 21, 2013

Transcript

BARRY: {as he types barrybirdemails.exe} EMAIL! Something. I don't really know the rest.

Subject: HEY FUCKER

MY EMAIL SHOW IS TOTALLY BETTER THAN YOURS
WANNA BRAWL

also, what is your favorite food or something iunno

love,

Raggonix

BARRY: Hey thanks. i really lov-wait. YOUR EMAIL SHOW?! It's better than me? {laughs sinisterly} you gotta be fucking kidding me! You think i would be worse? Huh bud? You think i would answer favorite food? Well, if I did, then i would, I dunno, SELL OUT! But no, I don't sell out like you do. Here, I got a great idea, ya little bitch! I already got your email address, so stay put.

{Barry types out the following email}

To: [email protected]

Dearest Raggonix,
Come to my house over at 666 Birdly avenue
So that we can brawl together, and i can bitchslap
you, ya fuck!

Also, what is your favorite soda?

Regards,
Barry Bird

BARRY: There we go! {sends email} LETS-A SEND!

{the title card reads 1 hour later before cutting to the front door}

BARRY: Okey-dokey, he should be there in any minute.

{knock on the door}

BARRY: Hmm, wonder who that could be. {opens the door to see no one} Shit! Ding dong ditch again. Goddamnit. Oh well. I was going to assume it was him, but... {as he walks back inside} OH FUCKING WE-!

{Raggonix appears jumping inside the house on top of Barry, grabbing his arms and legs}

RAGGONIX: Yo, nigga! I have a better email show than you.

BARRY: You think that's right, having a better email show than me? We're equally ripoffs to Strong Bad, with the emphasis of comedies coming from Lewis Black or George Carlin... or maybe something.

RAGGONIX: Are you telling me that I'm a ripoff too?

BARRY:We all are. So can please, just the two of us, get along?

{heartwarming music plays as tears fall from Raggonix eyes for 5 seconds, and the record scratches}

RAGGONIX: FUCK NO, YOU FAG!

BARRY: So I'm related to a cigarette, right?

RAGGONIX: Who's a cigarette, cigar? {punches Barry to the ground}

BARRY: Dayum! {blood drips out of Barry's nose} Goddamn this episode.

{the paper comes down}

Click here to Email Barry Bird

at [email protected]

Easter Eggs

• None tonight.

Fun Facts

• NONE TONIGHT GODDAMN YOU!!!