What's This I

{JCM is walking down a hallway. As he turns a corner, he catches his toe on a suspiciously heightened floor tile. He stubs his toe, somehow breaking his leg and both his arms.}

JCM: I have been crippled! B'Gosh!

{JCM falls to the ground. Time passes and people walk by.}

JCM: Will nobody help me up? I have falle

{Some Chooms walk up to JCM.}

NOID: Hahahahaha bleedy baby fell on the ground!

NACHOMAN: We are going to laugh at you!

SKULLB: Let's throw school supplies at him!

{The Chooms throw pencils, paperclips, pens and desks at JCM.}

JCM: How harsh of them! Perhaps if I got help I could defeat my nemeses like David to Goliath!

{Cut: a brightly-colored room. Raiku, Strong Rad and Strong Intelligent are there.}

JCM: Please, my friends, h

{JCM enters the room.}

JCM: elp me vanquish my foes! It is Gosh's wish that we all work together!

STRONG INTELLIGENT: {to self, in a Rainman-esque monologue} I don't like to perform co-op. I do better in campaign or single player, for there is nobody to hold me back but my self-doubts, and they cannot stop me from burning down my school

STRONG RAD: Rufufafurgfurfghghghgggg {spits up all over pants}

RAIKU: I will help.

{Raiku stands up and triumphant horns blare. An American flag flies behind him and somewhere, an eagle cries in joy. God Bless are country.}

RAIKU: I, too, know the pain and suffering of being a target. I have changed, however, and now I am stronger than I have ever been, both physically and mentally. Let us go and challenge this {disdainfully} scum.

JCM: Verily

{Cut: the hallway. The Chooms are smoking cigarettes with both hands. JCM and Raiku walk up to them, haughtily.}

BLUEBRY: What do you want, bustre?

RAIKU: We have come to say "no more"!

JCM: No more!

RAIKU: Quit throwing school supplies at us or we will tell.

JCM: That's right!

NOID: You're both ugly.

{SkullB giggles uncontrollably. He starts wheezing because he's fatter than hell gotDAMN}

BROOKSIE: Hey, kids, if you can't take the heat, get out of the kitchen--get in hot water with us and you're dead meat.

{/me ba dum tosh}

{All the Chooms throw bulldozers and steam shovels at the two little babbies. They do not die but their egos are bruised rather badly.}

JCM: What have we learned from this, Raiku?

RAIKU: We have learned to never loo