Wikihood/eps/13

Transcript

{Open to the front room of the apartment. Leigh is sprawled out over the couch while Garfield is lying on the floor. It is 7:00 AM in the morning. Leigh tries to pick himself up, but fails.}

LEIGH: My head... it's too heavy to move.

GARFIELD: {groans} When I'm back at the lab... I'm going to create a cure for hangovers...

{Garfield sits up.}

GARFIELD: No... even better... I am going to genetically modify myself so I don't get hungover ever again.

{Lex walks out of his bedroom, as fresh as he can be. He walks over to the curtains and opens them. As the light hits Garfield and Leigh, they hiss.}

LEIGH: The light, it burns!! I never should've come up to the surface; the light is too painful!!!!

GARFIELD: I will... I will genetically modify the Sun to not be SO FUCKING BRIGHT!!!!

LEX: Eyy, whazzup, guys? Got a bit of the old Irish flu?

GARFIELD: Lex... that's offensive.

LEX: It's okay; I'm Irish, I'm allowed to say that stuff.

LEIGH: I thought you were Jamaican...

LEX: I'm a lot of things, mate.

LEIGH: Oh.

{Garfield starts to get up. He wobbles over, and closes the curtains.}

GARFIELD: Damn, I don't think I'm in... any state to... do much more than this...

{Garfield collapses back on the floor. His cellphone distantly rings.}

GARFIELD: {groans} I should get that...

{Garfield slowly motions toward this bedroom, and reaches for his phone. He picks it up.}

GARFIELD: This is that guy who's starting to hate Mondays a lot more with each passing week.

TRACY: Garfield? You doing okay?

GARFIELD: I'm kinda fucked up. After finishing that robotic arm, I-

TRACY: Wait, you were building a robotic arm?

GARFIELD: For someone who I fought and defeated, to the point of hospitalizing them.

TRACY: Oh, right. Is that the-

GARFIELD: You talk first. What's up?

TRACY: It seems D'Arque knows more than he's letting on.

GARFIELD: How dire is the situation?

TRACY: A goblin and several mobsters have been asking around about Village People. The answers everyone has given have been mixed.

{The apartment shakes a little. The front doors are banged on.}

GARFIELD: Hold that thought, Tracy. It appears an earthquake is-

{The front doors burst open. A familiar face, now wearing a robotic arm, arrives.}

ROSEMARY: Noxigar Bellinski! It is time to-

{Garfield turns to face Rosemary.}

GARFIELD: I'm hung over, and also you just burst through the front doors of my friend's house. What is wrong with you?!

ROSEMARY: Ah, shit. Bad time?

GARFIELD: I already had my Australian gorilla friend and his Dromite psi-kick help me make that arm for you. At what point is sparring with you appropriate now?!

{Rosemary frowns.}

TRACY: Wow, this is kinky.

GARFIELD: Darkheart, you're not helping.

TRACY: Hey, lighten up! This gives me an idea from during my comic book shop phase!

ROSEMARY: Your friend Darkheart sounds way more fun to be around than you. I'll go find him instead.

{Rosemary waves awkwardly, at Lex and Leigh, and badly puts the front door back together.}