Wikihood/eps/13

Transcript

{Open to the front room of the apartment. Leigh is sprawled out over the couch while Garfield is lying on the floor. It is 7:00 AM in the morning. Leigh tries to pick himself up, but fails.}

LEIGH: My head... it's too heavy to move.

GARFIELD: {groans} When I'm back at the lab... I'm going to create a cure for hangovers...

{Garfield sits up.}

GARFIELD: No... even better... I am going to genetically modify myself so I don't get hungover ever again.

{Lex walks out of his bedroom, as fresh as he can be. He walks over to the curtains and opens them. As the light hits Garfield and Leigh, they hiss.}

LEIGH: The light, it burns!! I never should've come up to the surface; the light is too painful!!!!

GARFIELD: I will... I will genetically modify the Sun to not be SO FUCKING BRIGHT!!!!

LEX: Eyy, whazzup, guys? Got a bit of the old Irish flu?

GARFIELD: Lex... that's offensive.

LEX: It's okay; I'm Irish, I'm allowed to say that stuff.

LEIGH: I thought you were Jamaican...

LEX: I'm a lot of things, mate.

LEIGH: Oh.

{Garfield starts to get up. He wobbles over, and closes the curtains.}

GARFIELD: Damn, I don't think I'm in... any state to... do much more than this...

{Garfield collapses back on the floor. His cellphone distantly rings.}

GARFIELD: {groans} I should get that...

{Garfield slowly motions toward this bedroom, and reaches for his phone. He picks it up.}

GARFIELD: This is that guy who's starting to hate Mondays a lot more with each passing week.

TRACY: Garfield? You doing okay?

GARFIELD: I'm kinda fucked up. After finishing that robotic arm, I-

TRACY: Wait, you were building a robotic arm?

GARFIELD: For someone who I fought and defeated, to the point of hospitalizing them.

TRACY: Oh, right. Is that the-

GARFIELD: You talk first. What's up?

TRACY: It seems D'Arque knows more than he's letting on.

GARFIELD: How dire is the situation?

TRACY: A goblin and several mobsters have been asking around about Village People. The answers everyone has given have been mixed.

{The apartment shakes a little. The front doors are banged on.}

GARFIELD: Hold that thought, Tracy. It appears an earthquake is-

{The front doors burst open. A familiar face, now wearing a yellow robotic arm, arrives.}

ROSEMARY: Noxigar Bellinski! It is time to-

{Garfield turns to face Rosemary.}

GARFIELD: I'm hung over, and also you just burst through the front doors of my friend's house. What is wrong with you?!

ROSEMARY: Ah, wait. Is... this a bad time?

GARFIELD: I already had-

{Cut to Garfield's NOXCORP Office. God Complex and Bruce look to be at work on a robotic arm.}

BRUCE: Say, Psi-kick. What if I give vibration functions to this 'ere Doomfist?

GOD COMPLEX: {flatly} That sounds stupid. Put it in.

{Cut back to the apartment.}

GARFIELD: At what point is sparring with you appropriate now?!

{Rosemary frowns.}

TRACY: Wow, this is kinky.

GARFIELD: Darkheart, you're not helping.

TRACY: Hey, lighten up! This gives me an idea from during my comic book shop phase!

ROSEMARY: Your friend Darkheart sounds way more fun to be around than you. I'll go find him instead.

{Rosemary waves awkwardly, at Lex and Leigh, and badly puts the front door back together. She leaves, thereafter.}

TRACY: Seems like I'll have a vistor.

GARFIELD: She mentioned knowing Hipsters who saw my face, so... I can deduce as much.

TRACY: Better her than that Xavier guy. Or worse.

GARFIELD: So, has anything else happened? Or are they still looking for us?

TRACY: I can't quite make it out. Their actions seem to be in odd patterns.

GARFIELD: Keep your eyes peeled for anything else. I've got to assess the abilities of our new recruit, the Human with an interest in Drow culture.

TRACY: Uh... sure. See ya.

{Tracy hangs up. Garfield puts his phone away, then motions back towards the couch.}

LEIGH: What was that all about?

GARFIELD: Do you want the short version, or the long version?

LEIGH: Will either make any logical sense?

{Short pause. Before Garfield can explain, he gets another cellphone call.}

GARFIELD: Hello?

STEPHANIE: I need you to come to my flat in Downtownindale, so I can discuss stuff with you discreetly. Do you have time?

{Garfield glances at Leigh, who looks even more confused.}

GARFIELD: I think so.

STEPHANIE: Please get here ASAP Rocky.

GARFIELD: As you wish.

{Garfield hangs up.}

GARFIELD: Lex, I might need you to explain things in the style we presented it to Volkov. Something came up.

LEX: It's cool, mon. I think I know the way.

{Garfield heads towards the front door.}

LEIGH: Wait, why does Stephanie want to talk to you alone?

GARFIELD: Short answer: Trust reasons.

LEIGH: That's extremely vague, but I think I understand to an extent.

{Garfield exits.}

LEX: 'Ave ya ever been to th' Underground Market, mon?

LEIGH: N-no? Not really? I've only been here for about a month, give or take.

LEX: I gotta call Garf-

{Cut to Garfield, who's downstairs and about to head for the door. He hears his phone ring.}

GARFIELD: Y'ello?

LEX: Leave me th' ice cream truck. I need it.

GARFIELD: She's all yours.

LEX: "She?" It's a truck, mon!

GARFIELD: She's sentient. I am still trying to find a good commando name for her. I tried "Meuloz" the other day, but I don't think it took.

LEX: I have extreme doubts about th' ice cream truck bein' sentient. But, it's whatevs. Just leave 'er to us.

GARFIELD: I copy that.

{Cut back to Lex, who hangs up.}