Difference between revisions of "Wikihood/eps/12"

Revision as of 22:39, 17 June 2018

Synopsis

Transcript

{The scene begins in Town Hall. Noelle is on her desk, taking the occasional secretary role when not on the computer trying to manage the Mayor's doings. The clock above her fast-forwards to very late in the evening. Noelle gets up from her desk, whilst still on the phone.}

NOELLE: Look, I've got to go. I'll see you guys tomorrow, hopefully, you can help teach the Mayor how to use a Windows 10 computer. Farewell.

{Noelle hangs up.}

NOELLE: The Nerd Krewe better show up. They owe me more than just one favour.

{Noelle goes to clock out from her office. Fast-forward to reveal Noelle's high-end apartment. She goes over to her kitchen and turns on a coffee machine.}

NOELLE: {yawns} What a rough day.

{Noelle turns on her high-definition television, then picks up a PlayStation 4 controller and headset. She turns her microphone on.}

NOELLE: 'Sup, playas.

KENDALL: Yo, Noelle! How was work?

NOELLE: Same old, same old. I clocked out late. Again.

KENDALL: Another long day as usual?

NOELLE: Yep. Kind of just glad to be home, really.

KENDALL: Hear about North Syllahona? Apparently, President Kardashian-West is going to a peace summit there.

NOELLE: Bleck, politics. Yes, I saw it all already. My feed was nothing but politics.

KENDALL: Sorry, mate. Thought you might've wanted to hear my two cents on it.

NOELLE: I do, but I need to engage in some Motor Vehicle Theft 6 first. Where 'we dropping? Wizard's Tower?

KENDALL: Wizard's Tower isn't in this one.

NOELLE: I could've sworn it was.

KENDALL: Nah, MVT 6 is only loosely based on Republic Island. One of the only landmarks they didn't make a substitute for is the Clock Museum. Let's drop by there.

{Short pause.}

NOELLE: Alright. Clock Museum it is.

{On-screen, Noelle's avatar drops into the street, right next to a large clock-tower. A secondary avatar drops in next to her's.}

KENDALL: Let's steal some shit!

{The two avatars walk up to a car which is parked in the street and attempt to hijack it. However, a pop-up appears, stating: "Would you like to pay $5 to gain access to the new 2018 Edison Chevalier?"

KENDALL: These microtransactions are getting worse! I swear, this game is becoming unplayable as of late.

NOELLE: Tell me about it.

KENDALL: The last one was much better, in my opinion. Oh yeah, do you have any plans for the coming weekend?

NOELLE: A few plans, yeah. I promised this dude that I'd help him find a new apartment.

{Kendall squeals in delight.}

KENDALL: Ooh, did you get a boyfriend?

NOELLE: No! Not like that! I barely know him! I just... agreed to help him, that's all.

{Suddenly, their two avatars die as the entire map is nuked.}

NOELLE: What?!

KENDALL: Argh, somebody bought the Nuke DLC!

{Cut to the apartment above the Pierogi restaurant. Chaos is all nervous and jittery, while Garfield and Lex are watching him pace around the front room.}

GARFIELD: Chaos, I really don't think it's a good idea to go out tomorrow. There are people looking for you. You need to lay low!

LEX: Ya'd think that'd be the thing he's all shook up about, instead'a meetin' a girl. I mean, ya spent three years in prison!

CHAOS: OH GODS!!

{Chaos panics harder.}

CHAOS: What if she finds out that I went to prison? She might see me as a thug! I can't not tell her, though, because that would be lying and she would find out! But it's not technically lying...

{Lex and Garfield look at each other, confusedly.}

CHAOS: But it's still lying by omission which is the same thing as lying, oh gods, oh gods, oh gods!!

{Lex grabs Chaos by the shoulders and slaps him.}

LEX: Pull ya'self out of ya polytheistic blasphemy, mon! Ya gonna be fine!

CHAOS: I'm fine. I'm fine. I think.

GARFIELD: I think those men were of some organized crime unit. You should not do this. You too, Lex!

LEX: I don't know why ya warnin' us when it was ya gal who tipped that guy off in tha first place!

CHAOS: Wait, what?

{Garfield stands up and throws his arms in the air.}

GARFIELD: I'm not entitled to request Stephanie's assistance with my supervillainy. It would jeopardize the strength of our friendship, maybe even double jeopardize it.

LEX: I don't blame ya, mon. Still, we should be fine.

CHAOS: What was this about organized crime?

{Garfield facepalms. Suddenly, the doorbell rings.}

LEX: I'll get it!

{Lex scoots offscreen.}

CHAOS: ...Nevermind. Garfield, ya gotta help me, man. What should I wear? Should I go t-shirt and jeans, or should I wear a button-up shirt? What if she expects me to wear a suit?! Wait- We're only looking at apartments, it's not a date or anything.

GARFIELD: Look, can't you reschedule it, at least? I'll go out and investigate, and see if I can fix this mess, and then you can go out.

CHAOS: Reschedule? And look like some fuckin' loser with cold feet? No way!

{Lex comes back, holding a package that has been hastily wrapped in newspaper and tied together with a string. It is also wet and dripping.}

LEX: Weird. Nobody was at th'door. Did any of ya's order somethin' from the dwarfnet?

CHAOS: Nope.

GARFIELD: I bought some soap opera memorabilia, but it did not look like that.

LEX: Huh. Let's see what's inside

{Lex sits down and unwraps the package, untying the string and opening the newspaper. It is revealed to be a bundle of fish.}

LEX: Are any'ya sure that ya didn't order fish from the dwarfnet?

GARFIELD: No...

{Everybody looks at each other in confusion. Cut to Rosato, who is parked outside of the restaurant. Giuliano runs out of the building and gets into the car.}

GIULIANO: I did it. I gave 'em the message. Tonight, they will be sleepin' with the fishes.

ROSATO: That's great. Now all we need to do is wait. We'll shadow 'em and nab 'em when they're least expectin' it.

{Giuliano and Rosato drive off. Cut to Noelle at the grocery store, buying some fish.}

NOELLE: It's been a long while since I had swordfish...

{Noelle picks up some swordfish, checking the expiration date.}

NOELLE: Good, I knew this store was the best!

{Noelle looks around. Some men in suits show up, followed by Droll.}

DROLL: Something something blueprints...

{Droll looks at a cue card. Rolling his eyes, he throws the cue card away.}

DROLL: Did the Mayor get involved in any crime recently?

NOELLE: Gods, no. I've been trying to keep him in the straight and narrow.

DROLL: Well, there goes that breadcrumb trail, lads. We'll probably find better luck in the cereal aisle.

{Droll and the men in suits walk offscreen. Noelle feverishly tries to text Mayor Meier. Fast-forward to Noelle in her apartment, talking on her headphone whilst playing on her PS4.}

NOELLE: I think I have time to cook the swordfish tomorrow.

JOAN: Swordfish? What part of Towningdale are you living in again?

NOELLE: Downtown.

JOAN: Oh, okay. So, how did you get an apartment in there?

NOELLE: Battel Tournament prize. It came with a red luxury car.

JOAN: Wait, a legit fighting tournament?

NOELLE: Long story, not worth getting into. I have to wear eyeshadow to mask black eyes.

JOAN: You still have to use makeup?

NOELLE: A lot of gossip goes 'round in Towningdale. Town Hall is not exempt.

{Fast-forward. Noelle eventually gets bored of playing on her PS4, and connects her computer to the monitor. She winds up watching some news - Sarah Khoroushi is hosting.}

KHOROUSHI: Petrobucks' campaign aide is being taken to court over a boat crash incident that killed five and injured twenty people. So far, it looks like the aide is being charged with negligent homicide, and reports indicate that Petrobucks is so enamoured with oil companies that his aides are trying to sweep this incident under the rug. More news at-

{Noelle disconnects the monitor to her computer. She then checks the time on the bottom right corner of her screen.}

NOELLE: Wait, yeah, I called for a day off today.

{Noelle gets up, and stretches her arms and legs.}

NOELLE: {yawns} Time for my morning walk, I guess?

{Fast-forward to Noelle in a change of clothes, to something more casual as she heads towards the park. She spots Stephanie sitting on a park bench with a vanilla latte.}

NOELLE: Yo, Latte-Girl!

{Stephanie blinks, then looks at Noelle with lowered eyelids.}

STEPHANIE: It's Stephanie.

NOELLE: Sorry, I keep forgetting.

{Stephanie warily sips her latte.}

NOELLE: Hey, so... how've things been? Kinda haven't seen you in a while.

STEPHANIE: Work's been kicking me in the balls.

NOELLE: You, too?

STEPHANIE: I've been keeping up with the news and trying to carry all of Republic Island on my back.

NOELLE: Wouldn't your spine fold like origami?

STEPHANIE: Not if I mix this vanilla latte with some hard-ass scotch, a chocolate milkshake...

NOELLE: Needed to mix all the desserts?

{Stephanie blinks, then downs her entire latte.}

NOELLE: Damn, girl. It's not even six in the morning!

{Stephanie does a backflip off the bench, landing on the grass.}

STEPHANIE: I've been up since 3 AM trying to evade anxiety problems.

{Short pause.}

NOELLE: ...I'm not sure mixing scotch with coffee helps with that, really.

STEPHANIE: I haven't known anything else to work.

NOELLE: Well, I presume you've been jogging?

STEPHANIE: I don't like running away.

NOELLE: I'm not being figurative, I was thinking some exercise oughta-

{Stephanie shows her fists.}

STEPHANIE: I punched a tree.

NOELLE: Uhm-

{Noelle looks dumbfounded.}

STEPHANIE: Look, I gotta jet. Those breakfast pierogis aren't going to get themselves.

{Stephanie runs offscreen.}

NOELLE: Cool, yet aloof. I wonder if-

{Noelle strokes her own chin.}

NOELLE: She didn't specify where she was getting pierogis... though that does narrow it down to... ten? Ten places?

{Noelle walks in a different direction from Stephanie.}