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Caught in a mysterious haggis-related incident, Scotsman, Irishman and Welshman are given extraordinary powers, which they each swear to use for the better good of the United Kingdom!

SCOTSMAN: Can lift a caber more than 5 feet high! Runs faster than a highlander! Can hold down ten bowls of haggis in one sitting!

IRISHMAN: Can drink a hundred gallons of Guinness in one sitting! Can write a poem in ten seconds!

WELSHMAN: Speaks strange languages! Likes soccer!