(even if you aren't vegan)

User:Noxigar/Zed, Bring Out the Olympians/Artemis

From Wiki User Wiki
< User:Noxigar‎ | Zed, Bring Out the Olympians
Revision as of 20:15, 28 December 2013 by Noxigar (talk | contribs) (polishing this gold statue of Kevin Bacon)
(diff) ← Older revision | Latest revision (diff) | Newer revision → (diff)
Jump to: navigation, search

Artemis, according to the ancient Greeks, was the goddess of the hunt, of the wild, and many other iotas in relation to nature.

This is still true. However, the modern reality is that Artemis seeks adrenaline most of all. Hunting for sport is one of many conduits with which Artemis gets her adrenaline (via a sniper rifle Hephaestus hand-crafted for her), but she shifts from hobby to hobby in search of the rush and elation therefrom. This has led her to treat "mortals," especially men, as little more than sexual conquests. She also has a tendency to seek out challenges, in order to get her satisfaction, but does so in a way that is just as much of a jaunty wastrel as Zeus or Poseidon. Many have tried to get her to get help for her adrenaline addiction, but all have failed to do so successfully.

There are multiple stories about these failures:

Artemis' hunting companion, a mighty servant named Orion, was accidentally killed by Gaia when he went to medical experts in ancient Greece to treat her adrenaline problem. A river god named Alpheus winds up in love with Artemis, but generally up to no good. He deliberately tries to overdose her on adrenaline meds, and this backfires with not only mud on his face, but also transforming him into a spring from which she and her many attendants drink from. The closest to a sexual conquest that did not go horribly awry was with a boy named Sipriotes, but the bath water was accidentally tainted with a drug and it affected Sipriotes' entire biochemistry, with results deemed horrific in the eyes of the Greeks.

One of Artemis' adrenaline addiction's side effects is raw paranoia. This led to her releasing hounds on people like Actaeon, Adonis, the Aloadae twins, and many others for various slights, all of which were nonexistent or otherwise greatly exaggerated for the sake of competent storytelling. Artemis' hounds are highly ferocious and actually can kill mortals with many deadly diseases, and their constant release led to Orion's substitute, Opis, keeping her in check. The way Opis keeps Artemis' hounds in check is with a golden statue of Kevin Bacon, which Artemis also enjoys excessively.