(even if you aren't vegan)
User:Noxigar/Zed, Bring Out the Olympians/Ares
Ares is known as the god of war and strife, and is often seen as a bully by mortals on the receiving end of horrible wars. Unfortunately...
Ares was actually on the receiving end of a lot of pranks and other misdeeds by Zeus, Poseidon, and many other members of the Pantheon eager to pick a fight with the war strategist and psychological savant. This gave Ares post-traumatic stress disorder, and because of others' slights to him, he is triggered by many things that others would deem inconsequential. Because he is constantly triggered by these things, he is often in a notorious berserker rage known to have cataclysmic aftermaths. The few people who can calm him down are Aphrodite, Hades, and Thanatos. Aphrodite is the closest thing to a best friend that Ares legitimately has, because like the other Olympians he is held back by his own social blunders. Hades and Thanatos greatly benefit from the war and strife Ares is known to cause, but Ares' rage tends to mess with people's fates, and neither of the two people associated with the Underworld would want an Ares running rampant and causing problems for everyone, when the other members of the pantheon already take that responsibility. Both Hades and Thanatos see a gentle soul plagued with a total of ninety-nine problems. Aphrodite, Hades, and Thanatos know best on how to deal with Ares' problems.