(even if you aren't vegan)
Haruhi Man, savior of anime! also a general apparently
 |
|
BADSTAR'S OMEGLE ESCAPADES
Stranger: hi
You: Greetings.
Stranger: where u from?
You: Planet Splindak.
Your conversational partner has disconnected
Okay, I was gonna jump into character into this next one, but then somebody said "ASL". ...Again. I had to know what this meant.
Stranger: asl
You: I've been hearing that a lot. What does "asl" mean?
Stranger: age/sex/location
You: Ah.
You: 15, male, the moon.
Stranger: k no be serious plz
You: Okay, okay. Sorry.
You: I live on Mars. Not the moon
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
This guy is awesome
Stranger: Hi
You: Greetings.
Stranger: Classy
You: I try
Stranger: Its nice
You: It is. I am always one for classiness.
Stranger: Good
Stranger: Where are you from?
You: The moon.
Stranger: I see
You: Nice up here. Quiet, but nice.
You: You?
Stranger: Holland
You: Oh. Y'know, you're nice. Most usually leave when I say I'm from the moon.
Stranger: Thanks and no problem
You: Really, how is it so hard to be believe?
Stranger: No, they must be jealous of your superior living place
You: Exactly! You understand!
You: No respect on Earth anymore. Exactly why I left a few years back.
You: Say, I haven't been down there in about... 3 years. Could I ask you some questions?
Stranger: Yes go ahead
You: Is Bush still president?
Stranger: Nope
You: ...Seriously? Awesome!
You: Who is it now?
Stranger: Barack Obama
You: Ooooh, sounds nice. He doing a good job?
Stranger: He's doing alright i think
You: Good. War still going on?
Stranger: Uhm yea sort of, i'm not too up to date on that part since holland quit already
You: Aw... too bad. Thats part of why I left.
You: Okay, one more things.
You: Is gas still 10 bucks a gallon?
Stranger: Its more expensive than ever
You: What!?
You: Oh, that is it. I'm staying up here for another couple years.
Stranger: Oh yes it's bad
You: I was hoping it would be better.
You: I'm getting kinda sick of the moon.
Stranger: I understand
You: I'm kind of running low on space ice cream.
You: I'd go to the store, but...
You: That's a bit of a problem.
Stranger: I must be indeed
You: I guess I could go back down for a couple minutes, but... well...
You: I didn't even use a rocket.
You: I used a catapult.
You: Yeah, I don't believe it either.
Stranger: Ha!
You: I've tried sending letters, but... they just kinda float.
Stranger: Yeah that doesn't work
You: Half of them flew into the sun.
You: I don't even know how I got this computer!
Stranger: You're lucky to have one though
You: Yeah, but... it is weird. I tried following the cable, but it doesn't really lead... anywhere.
Stranger: Thats weird yes
You: The only site I get on this thing is Omegle. I've been trying to get help for a few weeks, but like I said, nobody believes me and just logs off.
Stranger: Oh well, is there anything i could do for you?
You: ...Could you find a way to launch up some space food?
You: ...And water?
You: I'd appreciate it.
Stranger: I do'nt think i have a catapult big enough
You: Doesn't even have to be a catapult.
You: Just... rent a rocket or something.
Stranger: Hmm okay, i have no experience with those whatsoever though
You: ...A toy helicopter? That might work.
You: Maybe a good slingshot.
You: Oh, I've got it! A balloon!
You: A green one would be nice, but I'm down with whatever.
You: I assume you're getting the balloon. Take your time
I don't think this next one realized I was joking, but hey. That makes it funnier.
Stranger: hi
You: Hello.
Stranger: ask me 5 questions and i'll tell the truth
You: Uh, okay.
You: What is love? (Baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me, no more)
Stranger: (good one!) i think love is when you care for someone else more than for yourself because you make each other smile
You: Okay, that's a good explanation. 5 points.
You: Alright, next one... um...
You: Why does Westboro Baptist Church suck?
Stranger: i don't know what that/they are, i count that as "No question"
Stranger: in ur favour ;)
You: ...Hey, good enough for me. 20 points.
You: Okay, question 3: Is Chuck Norris as badass as the internet says?
Stranger: no he isn't. he's just a below-good-acting-skills-actor and not worth talking about. just some internet-hype
Stranger: (btw that was question no2 cuz i wasn't able of answering that westboro thingy)
You: ...I will not deduct any points from your current score. But just know this: Chuck heard that. ...He is coming.
You: Oh, okay.
You: Question 3: Why is it called a smartcar if you look so stupid driving one?
Stranger: i dunno, perhaps cuz it shall give the driver the feeling that he is smart when he drives a car with that name
You: I can accept that. 5 points.
You: 4: Is the cake really a lie?
Stranger: in the game: yes, cuz the creators wanted it that way. in reality: even more yes
You: For the game, correct. Reality... I am sorry, but wrong.
You: I have some in my kitchen. It is delicious. 5 point deduction.
You: It is time for question 5. This will determine if you get the grand prize. Are you ready? Stranger: yes
You: Okay, here it is. Question 5 is...
You: Why am I so cool? You have 3 minutes to answer.
Stranger: u had a good start with that love question, but that chuck norris and smart-car things wasn't that cool. i also don't know anything about you, so i can't answer the question, although if the cake is not a lie
You: I am sorry, Stranger. By not answering the question, you do not get the grand prize. You: BUT! You do get a consolation prize! You get...
You: Omegle: The Home Game!
Stranger: lol
Stranger: ok i wish u luck, bye ;)
I don't even know
Stranger: hey asl?
You: Age: 15
You: Sex: Male
Stranger: FAG
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
This guy needs a pill for chillin
Stranger: I'm not a girl.
You: I wasn't gonna ask.
You: But I can see why you'd type that.
Stranger: Good for that.
You: I've been asked that, like... over 9000 times already.
Stranger: Haha, me too.
Stranger: So, how are you? You: Fine.
You: You?
Stranger: Fine too. Where are you from?
You: Seattle.
Stranger: Nice city.
Stranger: What's your name?
You: Usually, I'd say The Moon, but I have a good feeling about you.
You: Not too sure about the name though. You can just call me Dr Awesome.
Stranger: Asshole
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
seriously
Stranger: Try the fun, adult version of Omegle! [babes of omegle . com]
You: ...No thank you
You: And this is like, the fifth "sexy omegle" I've heard of. Seriously, pick a creative way to give me a virus
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
AHAHAHAHAHA JUST AHAHAHAHA
Stranger: m or f ??
You: Yes, my name is Morf. How did you know?
Stranger: i saw it written in ur mom's ass
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
He had no idea what he was missing out on
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label 'Stranger:'. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.
Stranger: looking for a mature woman
You: Will a 15 year old overweight boy do?
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
best one so far seriously guys
by the away totally safe language up ahead
You: NYANNYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYAN
Stranger: Frank
You: NYANNYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYAN
Stranger: Frank
You: Dammit, Carl. We've had this discussion. Don't interrupt me when I'm Nyaning.
Stranger: I'm sorry baby! Please take me back!
You: OH AND FOR WHAT SO YOU CAN TREAT ME LIKE GARBAGE
You: I'M THE ONLY ONE SUPPORTING THIS FAMILY ANYMORE
Stranger: THAT'S BECAUSE I'M PREGNANT!
You: I KNOW CARL
You: I KNOW IT ISN'T MINE
Stranger: OF COURSE IT IS!
You: I SAW YOU CARL
Stranger: EITHER THAT OR YOUR FATHERS
You: I SAW YOU WITH THE MILKMAN
Stranger: oh yeah, him too. BUT YOUR THE ONLY ONE I LOVE
You: AND THE FARMER
You: AND THE DENTIST
You: AND THE FAMILY CAT
Stranger: THE CAT STARTED IT!
Stranger: AND YOU'RE ALWAYS GONE WORKING
Stranger: WHAT ELSE AM I TO DO?
You: WELL I NEED TO SUPPORT US SOMEHOW
You: MAYBE IT WOULD BE EASIER IF YOU JUST GOT A DAMN JOB
You: OR AT LEAST SHOWED ME SOME DAMN AFFECTION
Stranger: I WORK THE CORNER ON THE WEEKENDS
Stranger: IT'S NOT MY FAULT I'M NOT HOME WHEN YOU ARE!
You: YOU'RE NOT HOME BECAUSE YOU'RE WITH YOUR "GIRLFRIENDS"
You: I KNOW YOU HAVE NO "GIRLFRIENDS" CARL
Stranger: OF COURSE I DO! THEY'RE THE DENTIST, THE FARMER, YOUR DAD, AND THE FAMILY CAT!
You: DEAR GOD MY DAD
You: YOU CHEAP WHORE
Stranger: ...ouch
Stranger: *sniffle*
You: YOUR LOVE IS A LIE
You: THIS WHOLE DAMN RELATIONSHIP IS A LIE
Stranger: no, baby! i still love you!
You: I... I can't do this anymore, Carl.
You: I'm sorry... it's over.
Stranger: But...but...can i keep the cat?
You: I'm taking the cat
Stranger: Or are you moving out?
You: and the kids
Stranger: fucking bitch.
Stranger: WE HAVE OTHER KIDS?
You: OH OF COURSE YOU WOULDN'T KNOW ABOUT THEM
You: YOU'RE ALWAYS IGNORING FRANK AND CARL JR
Stranger: Are they the gnomes that sit in our kitchen all the time???
Stranger: Honey, those are the neighbor's kids, not ours!
You: I CAN DREAM DAMN YOU
Stranger: NO YOU CAN'T, YOU HAVE INSOMNIA!
You: AT LEAST I HAVE A HEART
You: WHICH YOU DO NOT
You: ...HAVE
You: AT ALL
Stranger: YOUR JUST BITTER CAUSE I WONT SCREW YOU ANYMORE!
You: I TRIED CARL I TRIED
You: NOTHING IS EVER GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU
Stranger: TRY MAKING ME A FUCKING SANDWICH EVERY NOW AND THEN, THEN!
You: I AM NOT YOUR SLAVE CARL
You: I HAVE NEEEDS
Stranger: NO YOU DON'T!
You: SEE YOU NEVER BELIEVE IN ME
You: TO YOU I'M A FAILURE
You: JUST BECAUSE I BLEW UP THE KITCHEN
You: 5 TIMES
You: LAST WEEK
Stranger: IT MAKES YOU SUCH A FUCKING DISSAPOINTMENT
Stranger: AT LEAST FINISH HIGH SCHOOL!
You: DON'T YOU THINK I WANT TO CARL
You: BUT YOU'RE SO FUCKING CLINGY SOMETIMES
Stranger: NO
Stranger: THAT'S BECAUSE I REALLY DO MISS YOU SOMETIMES
You: I TAKE DAYS OFF OF WORK
You: BUT YOU'RE ALWAYS "BUSY"
You: WITH MY DAD
You: AND THE MILKMAN
You: AND THE DENTIST
You: AND THE CAT
Stranger: WELL I'M SORRY FOR ACTUALLY MAKING FRIENDS
Stranger: AND YOUR DAD DOES IT BETTER THAN YOU
Stranger: YOUR LIKE YOUR MOTHER
Stranger: SHE'S NEVER SATISFIED
You: "FRIENDS"!? THAT'S WHAT YOU CALL THEM
You: ...THAT IS FUCKING IT CARL
You: I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE
You: THIS MARRIAGE IS A WRECK
Stranger: FINE! I DON'T WANT TO DO IT ANYMORE WITH YOU
Stranger: WE'RE GETTING A DIVORCE
You: I WANT NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU
You: FINE
You: I'M TAKING MR NYAN-NYAN THOUGH
Stranger: FINE! I'M TAKING YOUR FATHER THEN
You: FINE! AND I'M TAKING THE CAR
Stranger: FINE! I'M TAKING YOUR VIRGINITY
You: YOU ALREADY DID
You: AND Y'KNOW WHAT
You: I'VE HAD BETTER
Stranger: *GASP*
Stranger: THAT'S BECAUSE YOU'RE SO LOOSE, WHORE
You: YOU HYPOCRITE
You: I AM GONE
You: AND ONE MORE THING
You: I AM TAKING
You: YOUR MY LITTLE PONY: FRIENDSHIP IS MAGIC
You: DVD BOXSET
Stranger: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Stranger: YOU MONSTER!
You: TWILIGHT SPARKLE DOESN'T DESERVE YOU
Stranger: KNOW WHAT THEN!
Stranger: I'M TAKING THE REST OF THE RAMEN IN THE BACK!
You: YOU HEARTLES SHE-DEVIL
Stranger: THAT'S WHAT YOU GET! I'LL BECOME FAT ON MY OWN
Stranger: WITHOUT YOU
You: YOU WERE FAT ENOUGH ALREADY
You: OH YEAH
You: I WENT THERE
Stranger: OH YOU {woah nelly}! I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU
Stranger: KNOW WHAT, I ALWAYS HATED YOUR COOKING
Stranger: THAT'S WHY I ALWAYS ATE RAMEN
You: ...Even the spinach puffs?
Stranger: especally the spinach puffs >.<
You: ...I... I thought you loved my spinach puffs...
Stranger: No, just another thing I needed to hide from you
You: ...You're... You're...
You: YOU'RE DEAD TO ME
Stranger: YOU'RE ALREADY SIX FEET UNDER TO EVERYONE ELSE!
You: I'M GONE CARL
You: GOODBYE FOREVER
You: OH ONE MORE THING
You: RAINBOW DASH IS NOT THE BEST PONY
Stranger: *gasp* YOU TAKE THAT BACK YOU TASTELESS BASTARD!
You: I SAID IT AND I HAVE NO REGRETS
You: DERPY HOOVES ON THE OTHER HAND You: OH YEAH BEST PONY EVER
Stranger: NO!! DERPY HOOVES? SHE'S THE OUTCAST OF THEM ALL!
Stranger: THAT'S WHY NO ONE TALKS TO HER
Stranger: LIKE YOU
You: DERPY HOOVES LIKES MUFFINS
You: THAT IS GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME
Stranger: NO SHE JUST LIKES YOUR MUFFIN TOP
You: BITCH
You: I'M GONE
Stranger: THAT'S RIGHT
Stranger: FINE
Stranger: I DON'T NEED YOU
Stranger: I COULD HAVE ANOTHER YOU IN MINUTES
You: AND I AM WATCHING ALL OF THE EPISODES
You: GOODBYE FOREVER CARLTON
You: TAXI
Stranger: FINE! I HOPE YOUR CAB CRASHES
You: I HOPE YOU
You: DO
You: A THING
You: A BAD THING
Stranger: EW I WILL NOT SCREW YOUR MOTHER! THAT'S JUST WRONG YOU SICK FUCK
You: I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF THE VERBAL ABUSE
You: NOW MY CAB IS HERE
You: FAREWELL CARL
You: and one more thing...
Stranger: GOODBYE
Stranger: yes?
You: YOUR MOM IS A DIRTY WHORE
You: *Drives off in cab*
Stranger: SO IS YOUR FATHER!
Stranger: *runs after cab*
You: *Sticks head out window* AND Y'KNOW WHAT
You: GREY'S ANATOMY SUCKS ASS
Stranger: IT DOES NOT!
Stranger: *chases with a bike*
Stranger: THE OFFICE ON THE OTHER HAND
Stranger: IS CHEAP AND STUPID
You: HOW DARE YOU
You: STEVE CARELL IS A COMEDY GOD
Stranger: HE CAN BLOW ME
You: YOU MONSTER
You: OH YEAH WELL
You: GLEE IS SHIT
Stranger: NO! THEY'RE MY FUCKING JAM!
Stranger: YOU FREAK!
Stranger: AT LEAST I DON'T DROWN MY SORROWS IN JOSH GROBAN
You: HE LISTENS
Stranger: HE'S RICH AND COULD CARE LESS
You: JOSH CARES
You: HE ALWAYS CARES
You: AND YOU KNOW THAT MUSICAL YOU SHOWED THAT ONE TIME ABOUT THE SUPERVILLAIN PLAYED BY NEIL PATRICK HARRIS WITH THE DOUCHEBAG SUPERHERO
You: IT SUCKED
Stranger: IT DID NOT!
Stranger: IT GOT GREAT REVIEWS AND EVERYTHING@
Stranger: !*
Stranger: IT'S BETTER THAN THAT STUPID BROADWAY MUSICAL YOU MADE ME SEE WITH THE BEANERS VS THE CRACKERS AND ROMEO AND JULIET
Stranger: MOST UNREALISTIC THING EVER
You: Okay, it didn't. I lied. It was pretty awesome. ...OH WHAT
You: THAT WAS A MASTERPIECE
Stranger: *sigh*...yeah actually it kinda was
You: ...Really?
Stranger: Yeah:)
You: ...Hey, were you telling the truth when you said my spinach puffs sucked?
Stranger: Well yes, but only because I hated always lying to you. You're cooking sucks but you're still beautiful to me.
You: ...STOP THE CAR
You: *Rushes out of cab* CARL I CAN CHANGE
Stranger: *Runs toward you* OH I KNOW, AND I'LL TRY TO CHANGE TOO!
You: WE HAVE PROBLEMS BUT WE CAN FIX THEM
You: WE CAN SEE A COUNSELOR
Stranger: AND WE'LL DO YOGA TOGETHER
You: I'VE ALWAYS LIKED YOGA
You: OH CARL LETS NEVER FIGHT AGAIN
Stranger: AWH! OKAY!
Stranger: but i wanna name the baby Shaniqua if that's okay
You: ...seriously? Uh, I mean
You: OKAY
Stranger: Yes!!!!
Stranger: OH I LOVE YOU SO!
You: I LOVE YOU TOO CARL
You: ...Let's go home, Carl.
Stranger: Okay, Frank. Let's go have ramen too.
You: ...I, uh... did mean it when I said Derpy Hooves was my favorite though.
Stranger: *sigh* I figured. As long as you aren't mean to Rainbow Dash.
Stranger: Then I can maybe respect that
You: ...Thank you Carl.
You have disconnected
Comments
Did you ever get that balloon? 
20:25, 4 April 2011 (UTC)
- Still waiting. These kinds of things take time. -- Badstar
