Mystery Fanstuff Theater 3000/1-Up Emails/tampo2

1-UP EMAIL 57!

1-Up is emailed about Tampo and gets mad.

Cast (in order of appereance): 1-Up, Stinkoman, Tampo, Stlunko, Boy, Brody

Transcript

{Cuts to 1-Up and Homestar Runner at a shop}

BLUEBRY: "MONEY IN THE BAG—MONEY IN THE BAG"

{Noxigar chuckles lightly}
NOXIGAR: Something funny in a rather long while!

HOMESTAR RUNNER: I'll go buy some food with the money we have left. You can go and check your emails on one of the shop computers.

BLUEBRY: because the employees are cool with that

1-UP: It's okay. I brought the broken Lappy and I reproggrammed it's batteries to last forever.

BLUEBRY: "I learned how at the Mary Sue Academy."

{1-Up puts the broken Lappy on a desk and sits down}

1-UP: I'm checking email with the best computer. My old Lappy and Strong Bad's New... Broken... Computer.

Tampos betteer than you!!!

1-UP: {typing} Better is spelled with only one E.

BLUEBRY: ...no it isn't

Not three. By the way, Tampo does not rule. Tampo is the same coolness level as me. In fact, If it weren't for me, Tampo wouldn't even exist.

{Cuts to a Flashback of 1-Up and Stinkoman fighting Tampo and Stlunko}

1-UP: Stinkoman! Aim for the red orb in the middle of the brain, I'll take care of the robot with the big fists.

STINKOMAN: Sure thing, Kidstar! Ha! Ha! Ha!

BLUEBRY: Ha!

NOXIGAR: Ah!

1-UP: Stop calling me Kidstar! My Mummy called me Kidstar when I was a baby.

BLUEBRY: then he got sold to the british museum :(

But, My real name is 1-Up. Daddy said s-

STINKOMAN: Look Out! {jumps out of the way}

{Tampo floats in ands hits a boulder off a cliff, causing it to sqaush 1-Up}

STINKOMAN: {jumps over to the boulder and picks it up} Hey, Kidstar! Aaaaaaaaaaare you okaaaaaay?!

1-UP: Who are you? Who am I? Am I Kidstar? I am Kidstar! And you must be... umm...

BLUEBRY: bond

NOXIGAR: I expect you to die.

{A boy walks past and looks at them both}

BOY: Hey, Look! It's the Guy!

BLUEBRY: OH MY GOD GUYS IT'S THE GUY
SKUB: OH MY GODDDDDDDDDDDD

NOXIGAR: THE Guy? Like of I Wanna Be The Guy fame? Pff, like he'd be in something as awful as 1 Up Emails.

STINKOMAN: Thank you, Thank you.

1-UP: Oh! So, You're the guy! Aww... I want to be the guy too!

STINKOMAN: I'm Stinkoman! {walks off, mumbling} Idiot...

{1-Up stands up and looks around}

1-UP: Where am I? I seem to be... in a place where the buildings and bushes are round.

{Stlunko uses he's fists to hit 1-Up}

1-UP: Ouch! Ow! Oof!

{Tampo starts charging up a beam of laser.

BLUEBRY: look out, he's got a beam of laser

NOXIGAR: Those UV wavelengths can be pretty hazardous if overdosed.

Suddenly, A Mysterious Dark Person shoots a weird black glowing plasma blast at Tampo. 1-Up jumps in the way and gets hit}

1-UP: Ouch! That hurt!

TAMPO: What did you say?!

BLUEBRY: he said "Ouch! That hurt!"

1-UP: I said "Ouch! That hurt!"

BLUEBRY: yeah okay that

STLUNKO: He saved your life. We shall spare this one and go after Stinkoman tommorow. When we get home, I shall translate what he said.

BLUEBRY: ...but...you speak english

{Cuts back to 1-Up at the broken Lappy}

1-UP: {typing} So, You see? You shouldn't be saying stuff like that, Tampo owes he's life to me. I wonder what the blast did. I was speaking English. But, Everyone else thought I was speaking an evil Language that hasn't been used for 20,00X years.

BLUEBRY: ...what

Whew. I'm bored. Maybe, I should check another couple of emails.

BLUEBRY: NO

NOXIGAR: For once in the basis of me riffing MFT3K, I am on the same side as the riffers. No, this email show is just utter crap. It's so bad it ruins these riffs, which in turn ruins my riffs. Hot DAMN I don't even think X is the New Y was that bad. Or even Raiku Emails, ironically.

LOL! Tampo Roxxorz!

1-UP: {typing} Are you another Tampo Fan? Jeez. I'm going to have to do another flashback, aren't I? Huh? Huh? Answer me! Oh, wait. Computer can't talk back at you.

BLUEBRY: you're a particularly bright one, aren't you

Oh, well. Next email.

TAMPO!!!

1-UP: Oh. Hi, Tampo. You signed your email. But, You forgot to ask a question or make a comment. You also forgot to say hello. Next email.

{Cuts to Tampo, Brody and Stlunko watching the email on the SuperCom in the Lunar Warehouse}

Tampo Rulez!!!!!

1-UP: {typing} Tampo does not rule. Okay. I answered all the emails. Bye.

BLUEBRY: bye

NOXIGAR: By the bye at Best Buy

{On the 1-Up Email on the SuperCom, The Paper comes down}

TAMPO: Diddn't we send that email to make sure he was still our minion. What happened to that?

STLUNKO: He answered that in 1-Up Email 50. I have detected that 1-Up is currently leaving the shop he is in and heading our way and to the Graveyard that is across the road.

BLUEBRY: that's weird because all i detect is shoddy writing

NOXIGAR: Same.

BRODY: Is there any possibility that we could get rid of him.

TAMPO: Yeah, If you guys helped me. But, I made a deal with 1-Up that I'd help him.

STLUNKO: When did you make that deal?

BLUEBRY: you were just watching the email where he friggin explains it

TAMPO: hen I was fighting him before. But, I wasn't really thinking properly when I made that deal with 1-Up.

BRODY: It doresn't seem like you were thinking at all.

STLUNKO: Maybe, We could get revenge on 1-Up.

TAMPO: Yeah. But, The history books say that the chosen one would have the power to destroy everyone with he's wand.

BLUEBRY: why would a history book say that

NOXIGAR: Apparently some schmucks like writing stupid shit in books of various kinds. That's practically how the Transformers movie series started.

BRODY: Stlunko, Do you detect any Magic Type Objects near the duo of Homestar Runner and 1-Up?

STLUNKO: No. But, By analysing their brain data, I have detected that they are after some kind of wand. I have also detected that this wand controls the power of the Dark Elf.

TAMPO: Do you think there is any way we can beat 1-Up and Homestar Runner to the Graveyard?

STLUNKO: Negative. This Unkown Firewall is stopping me from detecting anyone inside the graveyard or even near the graveyard.

BRODY: So, When you lose 1-Up and Homestar Runner's detection, then you will know that they are in the Graveyard.

TAMPO: No. 1-Up and Homestar Runner's detection is gone. But, They were nowhere near the forcefield when they dissapeared.

STLUNKO: Forcefield?!

TAMPO: That's my way of saying firewall.

BLUEBRY: this writing is lackluster at best

NOXIGAR: No, the writing is badly trying Stylistic Suck at best.
NOXIGAR: See, I still can disagree. With some things you say.

BRODY: But, Not only is it a forcefield. It is actualy literally a firewall.

BLUEBRY: so it's literally a wall of fire

It burns with black darkness.

STLUNKO: We better not go near it.

TAMPO: Why?

STLUNKO: Remember what happened last time we handled with Black Fire.

BLUEBRY: hey guys remember the last time we handled with improper grammar?

BRODY: It's called Dark Fire.

STLUNKO: Whatever, Whatever. The oint is, The last time we handled something like the Dark Elve's Power, We were destroyed.

BLUEBRY: he makes a good oint

NOXIGAR: Good ointment?

BRODY: But, He isn't using the Dark elve's Power.

TAMPO: That might be true. But, This guy is using some kind of power that has Darkness and the abilaty to control the dead. This is a different kind of Darkness. It controls Zombies, Vampires, Monsters, Witches and any other types of scary stuff.

STLUNKO: Including Aliens?

TAMPO: Yes.

BLUEBRY: but only the scary ones

Why?

STLUNKO: Well, Remember Nebulon?

BRODY: He could be controled. But, Nobody would like to control NEB-1 because of the fact that he's style and power is low.

BLUEBRY: nebulon needs to get his swag on, son

NOXIGAR: But Nebulon practically has no swag.

He was defeated by 1-Up.

TAMPO: You must remember that 1-Up is the chosen one.

BRODY: 1-Up is the chosen one?! You never told us that!

BLUEBRY: "Oh, I forgot to mention it. Yeah, he's the savior of the world or whatever."

with this information, we could find a way to get the wand.

STLUNKO: I get what your saying. We let 1-Up and Homestar Runner get Marzichan's Dark and Powerful Wand so we can fight him when he comes back and then take control over the Dark Elf.

BRODY: That wasn't my plan. But, I like your idea better.

TAMPO: So, It is settled. Well, Let's go do stuff.

{The Paper comes down}

STLUNKO: That is not our paper. I have detected that the 1-Up Email Paper is in thew Lunar Warehouse.

TAMPO: Who cares. We'd have to keep talking if the 1-Up Email diddn't end.

BRODY: Good point.

Easter Eggs

• Click on one of Stlunko's Fists to see Strong bad and the Cheat watching Caleb Rentpayer.

Transcript

TUCKSWORTH: Are you becoming a 20X6 Superman?

(20X6) CALEB RENTPAYER: {In a cool 20X6 voice} I sure aaaaaaaaaaam!

BLUEBRY: that was the most unfunny thing i've ever seen and my school's talent show has impressionists

NOXIGAR: The high school I graduated from had a poetry slam where the same guy won three times in a row despite his poems being nothing but complete shit. No, really. The guy was talking shit during the paper, pretending to sound gangster, and other forms of logical fallacies which would've warranted last place at any other high school.

NOXIGAR: Hmph, I'd salvage this riffing but I'd be violating riffing protocol if I included myself in the later riffs just to help Bluebry out. He can't carry this riff by itself, and it's showing really hard.