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Lex, I Managed To Avoid Drowning!

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Revision as of 13:19, 30 August 2015 by Noxigar (talk | contribs) (Let's remake this into something that can be translated into "I might not be repulsed by this shit")
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Lexon Darkheart was in his room, and it's a mess. PlayStation 4 parts are strewn about, while Lexon's latest project, what appears to be a robot made out of PlayStation 4 materials, stands in a near-complete state. He finishes embedding solar panels on the robot's butt, before he goes back to a well-lit desk. Clearly visible to Lexon are the blueprints for a successful PS4 cyborg, of which would, according to said blueprints, be "the first functional member of the Katawa Hearts."

While Lexon was re-examining the blueprints, Abraxas Malefact quietly opened the door. The door creaked a bit, which allowed Lexon to know that Abraxas was around.

"Hey, Chaos! What's up, you sexy stranger?"

Abraxas looked at Lexon with a raised brow, "Um, what the hell are you doing?"

"I stole some PlayStation 4s to make Noxigar a member of a group I had thought of. It will consist of five people, and I'm making the drummer right now. She's to be named Audrey 2.0."

Abraxas sighed, asking a question he dreaded, "What happened to Audrey 1.0?" Lexon was a theatrical sort of man, but Abraxas wasn't.

"Well, Audrey 1.0 would be me having to lift the data from one of Noxigar's favourite games wholesale, the dating puzzle one," Lexon answered truthfully, "So, I'm making one that allows me to at least deviate in order to make a person he'd begrudgingly like in spite of numerous unforeseen-but-simultaneously-foreseen circumstances."

Abraxas groaned, "Cut the exposition and just get to the part where you finish this fucking thing."

Lexon lowered his eyes, "You didn't ask politely, so no."

Abraxas placed a hand to his face, and shook his head, "Son of a bitch, Lex."

"Noxigar needs a heart. He can't function without one," Lexon pointed out, "And his alleged devouring of the Necronomicon and getting some sweet gold angel-tech isn't enough to compensate."

Abraxas decided to humour Lexon's rationale, and see what he constructed. It was decidedly bizarre, but the entire cast of roommates already destroyed Mr. Malefact's definition of "odd." Studying the bizarre female robot that was to be the "drummer" of Katawa Hearts, Abraxas gave her several glances over, and nodded.

"What's the point of the solar panels on her ass?" Another question Abraxas dreaded asking, because the answer was going to be something exceptionally godawful.

"So she can sit down on chairs," Lexon responded in kind.

Abraxas raised a brow and snorted, "That's it?"

Lexon shrugged, "She's a drummer, I presume she'll be sitting down."

Abraxas commented, "Oh, for fuck's sake, Lex, we need to do more than just make an asshole girl drummer. Is she practical in combat situations, assuming we go to a gaming or comic book convention, where not worshipping the 'nerd gods' is considered heretical, again?"

"She's supposed to be a red-headed Warforged-made-out-of-PlayStation-4s with a sassy, 'Mega-Bitch' attitude whose primary function outside of being the drummer of Katawa Hearts is to be Noxigar's girlfriend," Lexon answered bluntly, "I'm surprised you aren't fawning over her yourself, given what I'm referencing here."

Abraxas blinked, and blushed a bit, "What?!"

Just then, Tracy Bellucci entered the room, along with his best friend Gilligan Stromberg.

Tracy looked at the PlayStation 4 parts around Lexon's room, "Bitchin'."

"I know, right?" had been Lexon's enthusiastic quip back.

Gilligan asked, "So how's Audrey 2.0 coming along?"

"In no time she'll be equipped to handle melee situations," Lexon smiled. Holding a screwdriver, the others simply watched as he began trying to finish the final components of this exceptional 'Katawa Hearts' robot which he spent the past few months bragging about, in secret, to Abraxas, Tracy, Gilligan, and a friend of theirs named Quigley.