Jaro Emails Temporary Wiki User Wiki Page Woot/clones

Transcript

{The three guyz are all gathered around Homeschool's TV as the email begins. They don't say anything and simply allow an email to pop up. When it does, they ignore it and begin talking.}

JARO: I'm really glad we were able to get rid of all those nasty clones that came from somewhere I forgot where.

GRUNDY: Hmm.. I can't remember either. I feel like I've just been doing nothing for about eight months.. Completely avoiding all of my prior commitments...

CHORCH: Well, we don't want people to get mad at us. We'd better answer an email!

JARO: I agree, because when you tell someone you are going to make a product within a certain time frame, it is important to keep your promises.

DREAAAAAAAM WEAVERRRRRR
SOMETHING SOMETHING
Hey Jaro do you have scary dreams?
Or do you have those dreams

Sincerely Dream Weaver

JARO: Um, well I'm a robot you see. I don't exactly dream. In fact, if it weren't for the fact that I'm a poorly written character, I wouldn't need to sleep.

CHORCH: Um, fourth wall much?

JARO: What?

CHORCH: Nothing. I just think that ever since those cameos appeared, our humor has changed significantly.. Well not that much, but it seems different.

JARO: But that was only a side effect of the cameos, remember? And we got rid of them all.

GRUNDY: How did we do that, again?

JARO: Uh...

{We cut to a scene where Stinkoman is standing on the edge of a cliff. A Homestar with a monocle is standing by him.}

STINKOMAN: Here's a cliff. Jump off it.

HOMESTAR CAMEO: Well, I do not think that jumping off a cliff is good for one's well being but if you sa--

{Stinkoman shoves him off. There is a thud. We then pan to the right to show a line of cameos.}

STINKOMAN: Next!

{We cut back to the three friends.}

CHORCH: See! We don't base our humor on random cutaways to prior events! We rely on making jokes based on our character's personalities reacting to our given situation, not just cutting away to a non sequitor!

JARO: You're right. Are we sure we didn't miss a few cameos?

GRUNDY: Well, not only is it possible that one of them could have survived a treacherous fall off of a cliff, the random temporal distortion that brought them here in the first place was never closed, it was only a temporary solution.

{The other two stand in silence.}

JARO: What?!

CHORCH: Are you okay, Grundy?

{A voice from behind them.}

VOICE: I'm fine.

{The camera pans out to show a second Grundy standing behind Jaro and Chorch.}

JARO: Um, what are you doing over there?

GRUNDY: I've been pretty much standing here the whole episode.

JARO: Well, if you're Grundy, then who's that?!

SMART GRUNDY: {sighs} Come out, guys! Our cover's been blown.

{A second Jaro and Chorch come out from behind a potted plant.}

CHORCH: ...what the?

JARO: I think I've got a screw loose.

CHORCH: Didn't we stop the cameos? I remember stopping them somehow! How are there more?

SECOND JARO: We're not cameos! We're, uh..

SECOND CHORCH: We're clones.

JARO: Clones? How do we have clones? I never agreed to be cloned.

SECOND JARO: Well, you see, what happened was we were sent here by--

SECOND GRUNDY: Through a random one in a trillion chance, your DNA was sent through the time stream into the contents of what you call "The Big Bang". The amazing burst of chemicals was disrupted by your genetic material and as such, three exact copies of you were created and sent to this period in time.

{pause}

CHORCH: That makes no sen--

JARO: That makes perfect sense!

GRUNDY: I agree!

SECOND GRUNDY: I'm glad you see it our way.

JARO: Well, I'm not exactly sure what use we have for clones.

CHORCH: They don't look like exact clones to me. I mean, their personalities are strikingly different. I think we can allow them to roam free for a while until we decide what to do with them.

JARO: I've got a better idea. {turns to the clones} Okay, guys. So, you're us. We've got a job for you. We need you to check our email for us while we go see how progress is being done on our way back to 20X6.

SECOND GRUNDY: That sounds good to us.

JARO: Great! We'll be back later!

{The real trio exits.}

SECOND GRUNDY: Perfect.

{We then fade to the back room of Bub's Concession Stand. 1-Up, Stinkoman and Homeschool are all working on what looks like a large, metallic, circular bathtub. Jaro and pals enter.}

JARO: So, how's progress?

HOMESCHOOL: Slow. Trying to build a dimension-traveling ship is next to impossible when you're working with such outdated parts.

CHORCH: Oh, well. We've got all the time in the world to finish.

HOMESCHOOL: Who's "we"?

CHORCH: Nevermind.

{pause}

JARO: Hey, guys?

HOMESCHOOL: Hmm?

JARO: Is it possible for our DNA to be randomly thrown into the creation of the universe resulting in an exact clone that is hurtled back to the DNA's origin point?

HOMESCHOOL: That doesn't even make sense.

JARO: Really?

HOMESCHOOL: Very. First of all, you do not have DNA, you're a robot. If a clone were to be created in the big bang it would have to be sent back within a millionth of a second to not be destroyed. And, if the DNA even could live through it, the DNA would not be sent through time but would evolve. Why are you asking?

JARO: Because, that's what our clones told us.

HOMESCHOOL: Excuse me.

JARO: Well, now that I think about it that really isn't a very good explanation, but the smart Grundy did say it and he's really smart!

HOMESCHOOL: Look, I don't have time for this. I need to get you guys back to your own time so you can stop whatever it is that's destroying time or whatever.

CHORCH: But--

HOMESCHOOL: I'm going to work on the motherboard now, and I'd like some silence.

{The trio leaves dejectedly.}

{We cut back to Homeschool's living room. It is completely torn up and wrecked. The cracked tv reads "Click here to email Jaro".}

Fun Facts

• Noid helped me write this.
• Stinkoman's line refers to a forum thread made by Joshua, who's avatar had been Stinkoman for a long time.