Difference between revisions of "Ben and Alex visit The United States of America/Arkansas"

Revision as of 16:44, 10 September 2013

In this episode, Ben and Alex find themselves up against none other than Bill Clinton himself, who desperately tries to flirt with the two. Special guest appearance by Johnny Cash!

Transcript

{Alex and Ben have touched down in Little Rock International Airport.}

ALEX: WHAT UP MY HOMIES

BEN: just because segregation ended here doesn't mean people aren't racist, if you say "homie" you WILL have a burning cross on your lawn you know.

ALEX: ben i'm mixed race i'm allowed to say these things what the hell

BEN: Sorry man i forget okay

{Alex and Ben go for a stroll, when suddenly an odd hick voice sounds from a megaphone}

HICK VOICE: Ahyuck, I like my women how I like my coffee. Suckin' me off!

ALEX: Did you hear that, Ben?

BEN: wait what

ALEX: That voice?

HICK VOICE: I like to get things extra messy, hya hya! So messy I'm on her dress!

BEN: Oh, now I hear it. Son, we're in Arkansas, this stuff is common here.

HICK VOICE: Now now, I would just love to stick some cigars up some lady's-... Well hello there!

{Alex and Ben turn around to see the hick standing behind them, gazing at them both with an intense "I want to fuck you" stare. On closer examination, this man is revealed to be Bill Clinton.}

BEN AND ALEX: IT'S BILL CLINTON!

BILL CLINTON: Ahyeah, that's right, it's me, Billy C, I'd like to see You, Me, and Hilary...IN BED

BEN: bill clinton please leave us alone

{Ben and Alex trot along like merry fellows. Suddenly they run into Bill Clinton}

BILL CLINTON: Well, hey boys! How'd you like a night on the town with the President of the USA!

ALEX: You're not the president, you haven't been for like fifteen years

BILL CLINTON: You keep talkin' crazy like that, I'll have to fix you up! Clinton Style!

BEN: bill clinton geez, don't ask don't tell amirite

BILL CLINTON: Why do y'all have to be such bad sports?

ALEX: You're creeping us out Bill, please leave :(

{Ben and Alex walk away from Bill and eventually start running, taking refuge in a small cafe.}

BEN: I think we've evaded him.

ALEX: Thank god, he was freaking us out.

???: May I take your order, you two?

{Ben and Alex turn around to see that they're being waited on by Bill Clinton.}

ALEX: OH DAMN IT.

BILL CLINTON: Remember what I said about coffee??

BEN: yes we rem

BILL CLINTON: I like to put my dick in scalding hot coffee!

ALEX: Okay ben we really need to go

BEN: dude i want my earl gray

BILL CLINTON: I CAN PUT MY DICK IN THAT TOO

ALEX: we're fucking out of here

{Ben and Alex flee, but everywhere they go, Bill Clinton pops up with regular occurrence. Eventually, they jump in a dumpster}

ALEX: Okay, Ben, we never, ever ever, leave this dumpster until we escape Bill Clinton.

BILL CLINTON: did someone say my name

ALEX: No, Bill, yer aright!

BEN: So, what's the plan? We're stuck here.