User:Tyrannosaurus Lex/Interview with Jayceeem

NOTE: THIS IS NOT MEANT TO OFFEND. THEREFORE I APOLOGIZE BEFOREHAND IF YOU ARE OFFENDED. THIS IS JUST MY TAKE ON THE MATTER. I MEAN NO HARM.

{Open: A TV studio. Sephiroth is sitting at a desk, and behind him is a giant picture of the Noid.}

SEPHIROTH: Welcome to the Daily WUW Show. Tonight I will be speaking with JCM about the controversy he caused with the Noid. Come on in JCM!

{JCM waddles in and sits on the chair.}

JCM: Glad to be here, Sephiroth.

SEPHIROTH: Before we start, do you want a drink?

JCM: Sure, why not?

{A pair of Lithuanian models come in, dressed in skimpy outfits and each holding a glass of wine. They give the glasses to Sephiroth and JCM, and then they both give them a peck on the cheek. They then leave, giggling uncontrollably.}

JCM: Umm... I don't drink wine.... Or any kind of alcohol to be exact.

SEPHIROTH: Really? Oh, I'll have yours then. {Drinks both glasses at the same time, and throws them to the ground.} Anyway, you're here to discuss the issues about the Noid, aren't you?

JCM: I am.

SEPHIROTH: Tell us, so why did you see fit to report the Noid? He was only having a bit of harmless fun. You know, we all have a bit of fun once in a while, right?

JCM: It may seem harmless, but it's not. Children go on this site, and for them to see such smut on their screens is unacceptable. So I did the right thing and I warned him. I told him I would take drastic measures, and I did. I gave him the chance, and he blew it!

{While JCM is saying this, The Noid comes in and crawls under his chair. He then ties JCM's shoelaces together and sneaks out. Sephiroth looks at him and grins.}

JCM: Huh... Why are you grinning? Is someone there? {He turns around, but the Noid is gone.} ....Oh.. Anyway, what I am trying to say is that I had no other choice but to do it. I was doing it for the good of the wiki. Later when the wiki is a cleaner place, you'll thank me. You'll say-...

{The Noid runs in, and stands in the middle of the studio. He looks at the audience and laughs.}

SEPHIROTH: {In a fake tone of surprise} Oh my god! It's the Noid! JCM! Get him!

JCM: Righteo sir! {He stands up and attempts to run after the Noid, only to trip over his shoelaces. The Noid runs off, laughing.}

SEPHIROTH: Oh no. Look what he did to you!

JCM: This is unacceptable! I'll catch him. You'll see. {Unties his shoelaces and runs out.}

{The Noid runs back in from the other side and whistles to JCM. JCM turns around and starts chasing The Noid.}

SEPHIROTH: {To the audience.} You know what this means! PARTY TIME!! {Pulls out a remote and presses a button. The Benny Hill theme plays as JCM chases the Noid around the studio.}

{The Noid throws a banana peel at the ground and JCM runs right onto it and trips up. The Noid takes the time to moon JCM and runs away. Suddenly JCM jumps back up and tackles The Noid, bringing them both down to the ground.}

JCM: Ha! I got ya! When Super Sam sees you, you'll be sorry! You'll rue the day you mess with me! {They both stand up and JCM takes off the Noid's mask. The Noid is revealed to be another JCM.}

SEPHIROTH: Oh my! It seems that The Noid was JCM after all! .....That would mean that one of you is an impostor! A sockpuppet of some sort! Which one is the real one, and which one is the impostor?

BOTH JCM'S: I AM! ....NO! I AM!

{Skullbuggy and the other mods come, all carrying guns. They all point their guns at the two JCMs.}

JCM 1: I want you to shoot the impostor!

JCM 2: Me? You're the impostor!

BOTH JCM'S: At the count of three, I want you to shoot the fake one! ONE... TWO... THREE!!

{The mods shoot both JCMs, killing them both.}

SEPHIROTH: Oh no! Now we'll never know who the real JCM was! And which one was the Noid?

{Cut to the audience. One of them stands up to reveal himself as the Noid.}

SEPHIROTH: There he is!

{The Noid laughs and runs away, and everyone except for Sephiroth starts to chase him.}

SEPHIROTH: That's all the time we have for today people! And remember, if you don't support the Noid, then you're a prep!

{The credits roll as the audience claps.}