Raiku vs. The League of Evil/1

{Open: Raiku is flying in his private jet, sitting in his recliner chair, with a tequila in one hand, and a Playboy in the other}

RAIKU: Lucifer Satan.. How long is this flight going to be? Raggon!

{Raggon runs in, and bows.}

RAGGON: Yes sir, what is it that you most humbly desire?

RAIKU: I desire to know how much longer it will take for us to arrive!

RAGGON: Well, right now we are flying over Wales, so you can expect that we'll land in about 30 minutes.. Maybe a little more, you'll just have to wait and see.

RAIKU: Right.. Raggon, leave me in privacy so I can look at titties in peace.

RAGGON: Right you are, sir..

{Raggon leaves, and Raiku puts the magazine down. He then starts to think}

RAIKU: {Thinking} It's been a week since Reginald had challenged me to armed combat... Why he wishes to do so, I do not even know. I do not even have any quarrel with him. Well rest assured, I will come back safely.. I always do.. Heh..

{Later, Raiku is seen inside an airport.}

RAIKU: Hey, Raggonix.. What airport are we at right now?

'RAGGONIX: Right now... Gatwick.

RAIKU: Really? Interesting..

RAGGON: So sir, what do you want to do now?

RAIKU: Well, before I look for Reginald, I would like to try one of those British roasts they're always talking about. Fancy having a bite to eat? Food's on me.

RAGGON: Hot damn, I'm hungry! Let's go!

{Raggon and Raggonix run off, with Raiku walking on behind them.}

RAIKU: Heh, those guys.. Always thinking with their stomachs!

{Cut to a posh, Victorian office. A man is sitting at the desk, reading his newspaper. The newspaper is partially covering his face, leaving only the top part of his head.}

???: American Superhero enters England, eh? So he did accept my challenge... Ha!

{He throws the newspaper down, revealing what he looks like. He's dressed in hunter's clothing, and is sporting a scar on his left eye.}

???: I never really expected him to accept though. Maybe Americans aren't as cowardly as I thought. Oh, who cares? It's only going to end up with me winning anyway. Sometimes I wonder why I bother.

{??? is shot in the back of the head by ????}

????: {chuckles} Now that that buffoon's out of the way, I can kill Raiku myself! Oh, you will pay dearly for dodging your overdraft fees, Raiku... VERY dearly.

{Cut: Outside the roast, which you can see through a large window on the second story. Everybody is laughing. Zoom out: ???? in a tree, looking in with binoculars.}

????: Oh, yes. Mmmm. Oh, baby. Yeah, keep it coming.

{Cut: Inside. Raiku, Raggon, and Raggonix are sitting uncomfortably.}

RAGGON: {hushed tone} I thought you said this was a roast!

RAIKU: Well apparently roasts mean a different thing in England.

RAGGONIX: I'm starving!

{Cut: Front of building. ???? sneaks up to the front door, and jiggles the knob.}

????: Damn. Locked.

{A piano drops on ????'s head. ?? walks up, remote control in hand.}

??: That'll take care of you, mole. Double agent. Now, onto the Raiku fellow...

{?? peeks inside. Raiku and Raggon are boozing it up after the roast.}

??: Now's my chance to kill him before the duel!

{?? creeps up behind Raiku, but seizes up.}

??: Oh god, my heart!

{Collective gasp! Raiku catches ?? as he falls down.}

RAGGON: Should I call the ambulance?!

RAIKU: {feeling the pulse} No... no, call the morgue.

{Small tears.}

RAIKU: I, for one, did not know this man, but let's have a moment of silence.

{All remove their hats and sustain a silence.}