FINAL FANTASY/1

{Open: the town of Corneria, which lies beneath the shadow of the intimidating Cornerian Castle. A down on his luck fighter walks into a bar and sits down.}

BARKEEP: Now what's the matter with ye? Ye look down on yer luck!

SKUL: Tell me about it. I was born with only four letters in my name!

BARKEEP: 'Tis a tragedy.

SKUL: What's a fighter to do in this day and age? It's not like something interesting will ever happen around here!

{Suddenly, a man in flowing blue robes and a stiff yellow hat walks in.}

CHWK: I DEMAND... A DRINK!

{The room falls silent as all the people there turn to look at the mage who has waltzed in.}

SKUL: ... What?

CHWK: You may not know me...

STRANGER: We don't!

CHWK: But I'll have you know that I am the single most powerful wizard you will ever know in your lives!

BARKEEP: Wizard, ye say? Ye look more like a magician!

CHWK: I- but- shut up!

{CHWK sighs and takes a seat next to SKUL.}

CHWK: A wizard can never get a break in this day and age. I remember, we used to be a valuable commodity, but now...

SKUL: Pff, tell me about it. When was the last time Corneria needed a fighter? I'll tell you whe-

CHWK: No! No, let me read your mind!

{Long pause.}

CHWK: Shoot, I've got nothing.

SKUL: You've got a lot of talk for a master wizard, I noticed...

CHWK: SHUT UP

{Just then, a man in red robes walks into the bar. He is met with applause.}

SKUL: Wow... who's that guy?

CHWK: Oh, him? Pff, he's some hoidy-toidy magician. Who cares?

{The man steps up to the front of the bar. He has a noticeable Spanish accent.}

???: Ladies, gentlemen... I give you... NCHO!

{The bar goes wild--save CHWK and SKUL.}

CHWK: Big deal!

NCHO: Hm? And who is this small fellow over here?

CHWK: Why, I am- wait wait SMALL?

NCHO: 'Chess, you look quite a bit shorter than your armored friend, I have noticed!

CHWK: I am not- don't you- {through his teeth} I have a size problem and I do what I can.

SKUL: So... who're you, again? The one in the red?

NCHO: Why, I am NCHO, red mage extraordinaire!

CHWK: {under breath} Big whoop. I can put on a cape and call myself a mage any day of the-

NCHO: Weak wizards begone, for you are in the presence... of a master!

{The bar applauds again.}

SKUL: Uh... nice to meet you. I guess. I'm SKUL, the fighter... I, uh, I fight things with... gosh, I don't even think I have any weapons-

NCHO: Tsk... such a shame, that. A warrior without his weapon? Foolishness! Come with me.

SKUL: Yeah, I kn- what?

{NCHO takes out a sack of silver coins from his pocket.}

NCHO: 'Choo cannot possibly be a fighter without a weapon, no? Well let me buy you something nice!

{SKUL starts to ponder.}

SKUL: ... You're not pulling my leg?

NCHO: Why, what makes you say that?

SKUL: I don't know... buying somebody a weapon? Seems a bit impulsive...

CHWK: {mumbles}

NCHO: Hm?

CHWK: Quit showing off, you flowy-caped, feather-hatted goody-goody!

NCHO: ... Why, what's with the animosity, compadre?

{CHWK gets out of his seat.}

CHWK: Listen, asshole, I ain't nobody's compadre, hear?

SKUL: Come on, CHWK, he's trying to be nice-

CHWK: He's trying to win you over with gifts and praise! Look, I don't want to be the skeptical cynic, but this guy's nothing but bad news to me! I'm out of here!

{CHWK leaves the bar.}

NCHO: ... My, my, what a temper on that one, hm?

SKUL: Sheesh... you barely even know a guy two minutes and already he walks out on you...

NCHO: Ah, c'est la vie, no?

SKUL: ... Are you Spanish, French... what?

{Cut: a fountain in Corneria Square. CHWK is sitting on a bench.}

CHWK: {mumbling} Friggin'... show-off red mage. What can he do that I can't?

???: White magic?

{CHWK turns to see a thief sitting next to him.}

CHWK: Uh... who are you?

BLUE: BLUE. Thief.

CHWK: ... Alright, then. So... why are you here?

BLUE: Thief stuff.

CHWK: ... And what does that entail?

BLUE: Stealing things.

CHWK: ... Okay.

BLUE: Got money?

CHWK: I wish. All I have on me is this stupid blue cloth and this stupid hat.

BLUE: Oh. 'Kay.

{Pause.}

CHWK: Hey, uh... you want to join up with me?

BLUE: Hm?

CHWK: See, I heard the King, he's looking for some warriors--four of 'em. Says his daughter, the Princess, was kidnapped by some evil knight, Garland. He needs four warriors to defeat Garland and get back his daughter, and they will be payed handsomely!

BLUE: ... Plot exposition?

CHWK: I wouldn't call it that, per se-

{Cut: a weapon shop. SKUL is picking out weaponry while NCHO looks at armor.}

SKUL: How about this rapier? That looks cool!

NCHO: Piercing power, 'chess... you've got a good eye, mi amigo!

SKUL: Thanks, man!

SHOPKEEP: So, what're you two buying?

NCHO: Please, my good man, a rapier for my friend over there, and some wooden armor for me, if you will!

SHOPKEEP: No problem, sir!

{NCHO hands the shopkeep some coins and takes the items.}

NCHO: So?

SKUL: Thanks a lot, NCHO! You're quite the gentleman...

NCHO: Ha, ha... no need to thank me, for it's good enough to know I have helped a warrior in need!

{As the two exit the shop, they bump into CHWK and BLUE.}

SKUL: Oh! CHWK!

CHWK: ... SKUL... NCHO...

NCHO: Well, well... if it isn't our little friend from before!

CHWK: I AM NOT LITTLE OKAY

NCHO: Oh! My apologies, sir...

SKUL: So who's the blue-haired guy behind you?

CHWK: Oh, that's BLUE! He's my new comrade, and we're going to save the Princess!

NCHO: Oh, you are? Well, I was hoping to recruit my friend SKUL to join my party! What a coincidence!

CHWK: Wh-WHAT? No, no, no!

SKUL: What's wrong?

CHWK: He's joining MY party! I need a fighter on my team!

BLUE: True, true.

NCHO: And what is wrong with AZUL over there? He seems very capable!

CHWK: Oh, him? He's not too good with fighting.

BLUE: I steal.

CHWK: And besides, I need somebody to do actual fighting!

SKUL: Why? Don't you have magic?

{Pause.}

CHWK: I, um... y- Of course I do!

NCHO: Really? Well, color me impressed! Let me see some magic!

{Pause.}

CHWK: Oh, uh- o-okay! Just, uh... just turn around. Like, for a second.

SKUL: ... What?

CHWK: Turn around or it doesn't work, okay?

BLUE: He's lying.

{CHWK throws his hat on the ground.}

CHWK: Wha- I- BLUE, come on, man! I mean- ugh- come on!

NCHO: A mage? Without magic? Oh, my... I cannot help you there, sir!

CHWK: Dammit, dammit... dammit!

SKUL: Well, CHWK, if you join us... we could get you some magic!

CHWK: I- what?

SKUL: And if we can't buy magic spells, can't BLUE just... uh, steal it?

BLUE: No go.

SKUL: Oh. Is that how it works?

BLUE: Yeah, simp.

NCHO: No matter! We can all assemble under my flowing, red cape!

SKUL: Agreed! I say we join NCHO's team!

BLUE: Same here.

'CHWK: Wha- no- I- fffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffine.

NCHO: Then it is agreed! Tonight... we set off!

{Fade to black.}