(even if you aren't vegan)
Every user emails/overated
Remolay talks about super powers! Aren't you happy that a freakin elf is taking time out of his day to do this?
LOCATIONS: Remolay's MacBook Pro, Metropolis, The Forrest, the village, The City.
CHARACTERS IN ORDER OF APPEARANCE: Remolay, Superman, Remadin, Villagers, some teleporting guy, Villain, Telporting guys girlfriend, Citizens
Transcript
{Open on Cowboy Bebop Remolay at his computer}
REMOLAY: Screw email songs. {Clicks on the icon for Mail}
Dear Remolay,
What do you think is the most overrated super power?
A buncha stuff,
Garbeldina
{Remolay clicks reply}
REMOLAY: {typing} You know, Whatever happened to Sincerely? A buncha stuff just doesn't cut the mustard. Anywho, the most overrated power? This is an easy one. FLYING!
{cut to metropolis, superman is flying through the air with Lois Lane, like in the movie}
REMOLAY: Yes, flying. If people see you up in the air they are likely to look at you, Grab their rifle and shoot you out of the sky!
{guns fire at superman, who remains unharmed, pan down to Remolay holding a rifle.}
REMOLAY: Of course, if you want to bring down the man of steel, you needs yourself some of dem green glowy bullets.
{loads rifle with kryptonite bullets, fires. Superman falls out of the sky. cut back to Remolay's computer}
REMOLAY: {typing} Honestly, Flying isn't the fastest thing you could have anyway. Much better than flying is the much less used teleportation! Say the village catches on fire
{cut to a burning village, people are screaming running from their homes, Cut back with Remadin in frame}
REMADIN: {angry} That happened last year, ya jerk!
REMOLAY: Shut up. {cut back to village} Flying wastes precious time that could be used putting out fires in the city. By the time you get there the village may be entirely burned down.
VILLAGERS: Oh my god! The burning village! Someone put it out!
REMOLAY: Of course, precious time could be wasted by an elf talking about the burning village. {the village urns completely down} Heheheh... I mean, oops? {time reverse to before the village starts burning.} But say Teleportation is used to get there, with a fire hose or giant bucket.
{Village catches fire, some random guy with giant bucket of water pops in and puts out the fire cut back to the computer.}
REMOLAY: {typing} And then there's the classic "You can save your girlfriend or the city" Dilemma. This does not exist for teleportation users, although, this thing does only seem to really apply to batman anyway. Observe
{cut to the city, Teleportation guy is watching the jumbotv while The Villain speaks}
VILLAIN: So, Teleportation guy, I give you the choice! Save this lovely young female here {jumbotv cuts to a woman hanging above a pit of lava} Or the people all around you from the bomb I planted! Who will it be?
TG: Hmmm... I choose both, ya dumbass! {pops out, screen says 2 minutes later, he pops in with the woman. The citizens chear. cut back to remolay}
REMOLAY: So there ya have it, Whatever your name is. Flying sucks, Teleportation rules
{nopaper}
