(even if you aren't vegan)
Ert Plus Emails/1
Contents
About
Ert talks about rainy days.
Cast: Ert Plus, Caity, Mac
Places: Ert's Room, Kitchen, Outside
Date: January 23rd, 2009
Transcript
{Cut to the Ertster. Ert opens his email folder}
ERT: Here I am! Duh nuh, nuh nuh, nuh nuh! Checking email like a hurricane!
{Ert brings up the email and reads it aloud}
What's up, Ert?
What do you do on rainy days to pass the time?
- - Zippy
ERT: Well, normally I'd answer this email. But seeing as it's sunny out, why would I-?
{Thunder is heard outside. Camera cuts to Ert's Room. There is rain hitting against the window. Ert looks over to the window and groans}
ERT: Man! Me and Mac were gonna go hang out at Waffle Town today! Well, then I guess your in luck Zipper, old pal! {Begins typing} Well, on a rainy day Mac and I explore parts of the house that don't see much action. Caity doesn't really want us around the house all day, but rainy days are our excuse to be here anyway!
{Cut to the Kitchen. Caity is stirring pasta on the stove}
CAITY: Some pasta should cheer them up.
{Mac walks in completely drenched. Caity turns around}
MAC: Hey there, sis. Whatcha doing?
CAITY: What were YOU doing?
MAC: Trying to save the animals from their doom.
CAITY: What?
{Cut to outside Ert's House. Mac is on top of a large ark gripping the steering wheel with a solid expression on his face. After 3 seconds cut back to the Kitchen}
MAC: Yeah... It as a harsh fury of stormage out there.
CAITY: You do realize it's not another flood that will destroy Earth, right?
MAC: The man upstairs says otherwise. {He points up toward the ceiling reverently. A beam of light shines down on him}
ERT: {From upstairs} I fixed the light, Caity!
CAITY: {Calling back to him} Thank you, honey!
MAC: Anyways, I'm gonna go see what Ert's doing.
{Cut back to Ert's Room. Mac walks in an looks around the room}
MAC: Ert? Where you at?
{Ert jumps down from the ceiling with a sword. Mac screams like a girl}
ERT: What's the matter, Mac? Forget your sword?
MAC: {Scared} N-No... {Looks down, then grins and looks up} Heh... You can't tell I peed myself.
ERT: That's gross. I oughta cut your head off!
MAC: Not if I cut yours off first! {Pulls out a sword}
{They begin to duel. They take plenty of swings at each other but after a while Mac knocks Ert's sword out of his hands}
ERT: Crap!
{Mac swings at where Ert's neck should be and his head falls off}
MAC: Yay! I win!
ERT: {Head on the ground} Mac! I didn't mean literally!
MAC: Well you should be more careful with your words then, mister email face!
ERT: Just get me back to my body please.
MAC: Um... Wait I've gots me an idea!
{Cut back to the Kitchen. Caity is still cooking when Ert's body walks in}
CAITY: {Turns around} I'm glad you're here. I made your favorite! {Realizes Ert has no head} OH MY GOD!!!!
MAC: {Runs in} Caity! Oh. You noticed the uh... headlessness of your boyfriend?
CAITY: YES! Where the hell is his head?!
MAC: Funny story about that...
{Cut to Mac standing atop the ark outside again. Then cut back to the Kitchen}
MAC: Wait no. Um... Funny story about that...
{Cut to Mac in a tutu in his room dancing. Cut back to the Kitchen}
MAC: {Sternly} You saw nothing.
CAITY: But Mac, I didn't s-
MAC: NOTHING!
CAITY: You're a moron.
ERT: {From upstairs} MAC!!! Get my body back!
CAITY: Hang on, honey! I'll be right up with it!
ERT: {From upstairs} Thank you, sugar buns!
{Mac awkwardly stares at Caity}
CAITY: You heard nothing.
MAC: Did he just call y-
CAITY: NOTHING!
{Cut back up to Ert's Room. Caity walks in with Ert's body}
CAITY: Here you go, sweetie.
{She puts Ert's head on his body and kisses him on the cheek}
ERT: Thanks, Caity.
CAITY: Come downstairs. Dinner's ready.
ERT: Ok. Sweet deals.
{They walk off. The camera cuts back to the Ertster}
Easter Eggs
None.
Fun Facts
- This was actually one of the emails that was still in my inbox on the Fanstuff Wiki. I saved all my old Ert Mail stuff, so the next few emails will be old ones some of you may have sent me.
