Badstar can riff too/GDDTV/5

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Dan's gonna phail physics? Oh no!

Cast: Dan, Ert Plus, Paco the Taco, Alfonzo, Ashley

Places: Dan's Apartment

Date: January 18, 2009

Transcript

{Cut to Dan's Apartment. Ert and Paco are passed out on the couch. There is a multitude of empty orange soda bottles on the floor around them. Dan kicks in the front door to the apartment and runs in}

DAN: {Looking around} Where is it? Where is it?!

{Dan starts to walk around the apartment looking for something. Ert slowly opens his eyes and groans}

ERT: Ow...my head...

DAN: {Turns to Ert} Have you seen it?!

ERT: Stop shouting... I have a headache...

DAN: Where is it?!

ERT: {Getting up, and knocking Paco off the couch in the process} What are you looking for Dan?

PACO: {Getting up off the floor} Ouch... What happened last night...?

DAN: Did you see someone take it?!

ERT: What in the holy name of Flanders Flanderson are you talking about?!

DAN: MY PHYSICS TEXTBOOK!

PACO: Maybe it's in your backpack...

DAN: No it's not. I checked there.

ERT: Well then go wake someone else up...

DAN: You two are no help! I'm gonna fail!!

{Alfonzo walks in from the bedroom}

ALFONZO: What are you shouting about? It's 7:00 on a Saturday morning. Normal people are sleeping.

DAN: I bet it was you, you two-timing, drooling monkey of a houligan's mother!

ALFONZO: A two what, smelly hoo-dad? What in the world are you talking about?

DAN: You know exactly what I'm talking about, you crook! You stoled mah book!

ALFONZO: WHAT?! UNBELEIVABLE!

DAN: So you admit it?!

ALFONZO: No!

DAN: Then what's so unbelievable?

ALFONZO: You can read?

{Dan angrily shouts and tackles Alfonzo. They start fighting on the floor as Ert and Paco watch in horror}

ERT: {Covering Paco's eyes} Shield your eyes, my little tortilla buddy!

{Ashley kicks in the door and stomps in angrily. Her hair is a mess and she looks like she hasn't slept for days}

ASHLEY: What is with all the noise?!

{Dan and Alfonzo stop fighting and look up at her. Alfonzo gets a goofy smile on his face and Dan screams like a little girl and hides behind Ert}

ERT: Well hey there, Ashley. You ok? You look like a tornado came in and ate your hair straightener.

ASHLEY: Even if that made any sense I wouldn't be pissed at you, Ert. What I AM pissed about is that you two {Looking at Alfonzo and Dan} are bringing down the apartment the weekend before exams!!

ALFONZO: {Smile disappears and he looks at the audience} Exams?

DAN: {Gets up and walks up to Ashley} Listen. The only reason I'm being so loud is because my brother stole my physics book!

ALFONZO: Physics?!

ASHLEY: No he didn't! You left it in the washing machine downstairs! {Hands him a soggy textbook that says Physics is Phundamental!}

DAN: Oh... That must be why my clothes smell like science...

ALFONZO: What is going on here?!

{Peter runs in screaming with no pants on and a banana in his hand. He runs right past the others and smacks right into the wall and falls over}

ASHLEY: What the hell is wrong with him?

PETE: {Gets up holding the banana close to his chest lovingly} Charles says we need more bananas! GET ME MORE BANANAS!!

DAN: Why in the world do we need more bananas? Just eat that one!

PETE: NO!!!

DAN: Why??

PETE: Bananas make you do good on the exams. I read so on Wikipedia! Now get me and Charles more bananas!

ASHLEY: Who the hell is Charles?! {Peter holds up the banana} Of course he is.

ALFONZO: So wait. We go to school?!

{Everyone looks at Alfonzo angrily}

PACO: Dude! Of course we do. That's why me and Ert had a wild orange soda drinking party last night.

ERT: And that's why the weatherman said it was going to hail today at 6, but it didn't.

PETE: And that's why I need bananas.

DAN: And that's why I stole Pete's pants and put them up for auction on eBay.

PETE: You did?!

ERT: And that's why Ashley looks like hell today.

{Ashley punches Ert in the face and he falls over}

ASHLEY: Now you need to go study, Alfonzo. After the exams we can hang out, okay?

{Alfonzo just looks straight at the audience. Fade to black, "The End" fades on the screen.}

Easter Eggs

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Fun Facts

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