(even if you aren't vegan)
Interviews
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Summary
Chwoka hosts an interview show!
Transcript
CHWOKA: Welcome, welcome everyone! Now, I was watching all the interview show boom, when I realized - Why do they make it episodic? So, I bought up a channel - Channel 3, some old news station - and now I have my very own 24/7 talk show. If you want to be a over-the-phone guest, call
503-555-5555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555555
CHWOKA: Or just come on down to
This Place
CHWOKA: But for now, you'll have to settle for... NACHOMAN!
{Nachoman walks through the door}
NACHOMAN: What a sexy room. {plops down ona chair}
CHWOKA: So, Nacho, why do you call yourself Nachoman?
NACHOMAN: Because that is my name.
CHWOKA: Get out. Now.
NACHOMAN: Nooo! Give me another chance!
CHWOKA: No. The only reason we picked you was your interesting name. So leave.
NACHOMAN: Okay, fine! I don't need you! {flips Chwoka's desk over and runs out in tears}
{Chwoka sets the desk back up.}
CHWOKA: Let's take a caller now...
{Chwoka scrambles for the hpone, which is on the floor}
CHWOKA: Caller 1, you're on!
SYLAR: {over phone} Thanks. Hi, I am Sylar.
CHWOKA: You're the guy I bought Channel 3 from! How's your life going?
SYLAR: Could be worse. JUst got shot AND healed.
CHWOKA: Shot? Where?
SYLAR: Heart. It happened yesterday.
CHWOKA: You lying bastard!
{Sylar opens his shirt, he has a bullet hole. However, he is on the phone, so you can't see that.}
CHWOKA: ...Okay, looks like Sylar is giving us the silent treatment now...
SYLAR: I just sent you a picture through email.
CHWOKA: How do you know my email?
SYLAR: I just know things.
CHWOKA: Well, you know what's another good way of finding out thin gs? Looking at the televisions screen! Because you can clearly see that I have...No computer!
{The screen freezes. A dotted line box apears on his desk, which blinks.}
CHWOKA: No computer!
{The screen unfreezes}
CHWOKA: Anyway, you're obviously delusional so...goodbye.
{Chwoka presses a button and the phone goes dead.}
CHWOKA: Our next contestant, Noid, hails from scenic Florida, and is currently going by the name Brooks. Please welcome...NOID!
{Chwoka gestures toward the door. Short pause.}
CHWOKA: Please welcome... Brooks!
NOIDBROOKS: {runs on stage doing backflips} HELLO PRETTY PEOPLE!!!!!!
CHWOKA: Goodbye, very ugly man.
{Noidbrooks is carried away by a conveyor belt.}
CHWOKA: Next up is our very own man-on-the-street... SEPHIROTH!
{Sephiroth stumbles on the stage, holding a bottle of liquor. It appears he's drunk.}
SEPHIROTH: DRINK! .....ARSE!!
CHWOKA: They have a machine that does that, you know.
SEPHIROTH: {BEEP}!
CHWOKA: And that was Hobo Ken! {shoos Sephiroth} Now, we're going to take a call.
{Chwoka picks up the telephone}
CHWOKA: Yes, who is it?
NACHOMAN: {on the phone} You know who it is!.. Leesten! Please give me another chance on your interview show! Please! PLEASE
CHWOKA: Fine. What do you have to say that is interesting?
