ALXXVentures/hoh

{Scene: Pearson's basement. Pearson walks down the stairs into the basement}

PEARSON: Crap! I couldn't get anybody to test out the cloning machine! Dang!

{Pearson looks up, and sees a bunch of Homestars, each more badly drawn than the next.}

PEARSON: WHAT THE—

{The regular Homestar walks out of one chamber of the closing machine, and a terribly-drawn, naked Homestar walks out of the other chamber.}

NAKED HOMESTAR: {in a PBTC-esque voice} I'm buck-naked Homestar! {holds up a match} I plays with fire! Sewiously!

PEARSON: {burying his face in his hands} Oh God, no!!!

{fade to black. Cut to opening sequence. After opening sequence, fade to black, then fade in to ALXX in shut-down position (standing up rigidly with eyes closed). ALXX opens his eyes (barely).}

FEMALE SYSTEM VOICE: Wake mode initiated.

ALXX: Oh god. Not now! Can't I just have five more minutes?

FEMALE SYSTEM VOICE: Access denied, honey. You really should get up.

ALXX: {sighs} Fine, MoMM. {ALXX walks slowly and groggily out of his room}

HOMESTAR CLONE #1: Hey man.

ALXX: {absently and groggily} Hi Homestar.

HOMESTAR CLONE #2: 'Sup, man.

ALXX: {absently and groggily} Hi Homestar.

HOMESTAR CLONE #3: Yo, man.

ALXX: {absently and groggily} Hi Homestar.

HOMESTAR CLONE #4: Good morning, ALXX.

ALXX: {absently and groggily} Hi Homestar— {Suddenly wide awake and alert} Wait a nanosec—there's something incredibly wrong here—Homestar would never say "good morning"!!!

{ALXX turns around and sees all the Homestar clones. Cut to Pearson welding something in the basement. ALXX slams open the door. Pearson drops the little flame thingy.}

PEARSON: WAAAH!

ALXX: Okay, Pearson, just WHAT THE CRAP IS GOING ON HERE!?!?!?

PEARSON: Well, uh, {flips up his welding mask, chuckles nervously} I was just working on making a DNA grafter, when—

ALXX: No, not about that, about all those...those...clones!

PEARSON: {looks confused for a moment, then a look of recognition appears on his face} Oh! The Homestar Clones! Well, Homestar started messing with the clone machine, and that brought good news and bad news. The good news was that the clone machine was a success!

ALXX: What's the bad news?

{Suddenly, a Homestar clone bashes down the door and starts dancing all around the place.}

HOMESTAR CLONE: I'm Dancing Homestar! I'm Dancing Homestar! I'm Dancing Homestar! I'm Dancing Homestar! I'm Dancing Homestar!

PEARSON: That.

ALXX: Wait—wait a minute—I've seen something like this before. How many clones are there here?

PEARSON: I'd say around nine.

ALXX: Ah-HAAAAAAAA!!!!!!! So every tenth Homestar is going to have a super power!

PEARSON: Wow...just think about what we could do with a SuperHomestar...we could create world peace...end world hunger...finally get that game that Toshio Iwai made for the SNES... {calls up} Hey, Homestar! Come down here a minute!

{Homestar suddenly appears behind Pearson}

HOMESTAR: Yeah, hi.

PEARSON: {jumps up} BAAAH! Oh, Homestar, could you make another clone of yourself?

HOMESTAR: Ohbee kaybee!

{Homestar walks into the one chamber of the cloning machine. A Homestar clone materializes in the other. They both walk out}

HOMESTAR CLONE #10: Eh-Oh! I'm Teletubby Homestar!

{ALXX and Pearson both look at the clone in shock, then Pearson turns to ALXX}

PEARSON: About that clone information...where did you get it?

ALXX: House of Cosbys...which was...a...cartoon.

PEARSON: Uh-huh. Great. NOW what are we going to do?