User:Noxigar/Arts&Crafts

Synopsis

Somehow I got the idea to maybe introduce Wikihood with two dumbass mobsters. I didn't get very far.

Transcript

{Cut to two mobsters, in a car. They are driving along a road, for some time, in silence. Zoom out to show the location in which they're driving; it's along a bridge between Towningdale, and San Crystal-balls.}

??????: Giuliano, is everything okay?

GIULIANO: I'm just fine, Rosato.

{Cut to Giuliano, who appears to be reading a newspaper headliner. Rosato's eyes are firmly affixed to the road.}

ROSATO: That's good. The Boss will want us in Towningdale soon.

GIULIANO: We definitely don't want him to wait on us.

{Giuliano's stomach growls, much to his frustration. Rosato lets out an audible sigh in response.}

ROSATO: Jesus, Giuliano. How fast is your metabolism?!

GIULIANO: I dunno! I just ate four hotdogs thirty minutes ago!

ROSATO: Wait, I thought we only paid for two.

GIULIANO: I nabbed a few extra, since I wanted to be sure we got to The Boss on time. I didn't want us to have to make another pit stop. God only knows we'd be lost if we had to stop by a Burger King around here...

ROSATO: I appreciate your forward-thinking, but we can't go around causing trouble. Next time, make sure your sleight of hand isn't for something small as something from Joe The Hotdog Guy.

GIULIANO: Was... that his name?

ROSATO: Yes. He was complaining about how Bugs Bunny fucked his wife, during... say, what were we looking for, back in San Crystal-balls?

GIULIANO: It's that casino from three years ago...

{Zoom to the newspaper. The headline on it reads, "Happy Renovation Of The Fortunate Lady."}

GIULIANO: {offscreen} Apparently, it was robbed.

{Pan downwards, to a paragraph which reads about how it had been robbed by "Felix Zabat" three years ago. Then, cut back upwards to Rosato and Giuliano.}

ROSATO: Yeah, by that one guy... wasn't his name Heathcliff?

GUILIANO: Before reading this, I thought it'd be Garfield! Or maybe Sylvester, given the guy's digs in the old picture. But, no, it's Felix. Felix Zabat.

{Cut to a mugshot of Felix Zabat, on the next page of the newspaper.}

GIULIANO: I never knew a fella who had red eyes before. Never thought he'd have raven hair, though I can see streaks of blonde... this combination doesn't match his pale skin at all!

ROSATO: What, you think he might be a vampire or somethin'?

GIULIANO: It's... possible.

{Cut to Giuliano's face. He looks nervous.}

GIULIANO: Look, all I know is I wouldn't wanna run into him, ever...

{End.}