(even if you aren't vegan)
KickCheat E-mails/Nebulon's Army
KickCheat E-mails #8
KickCheat goes to the moon for the second gold capsule. Nebulon stirs up some trouble
Cast: (in order of appearance): KickCheat, Stinkoman, Strong Bad, The Cheat, Homestar Runner, Stephen, 1-Up, Nebulon, 500 mini nebulons, Tampo, Stlunko, Brody
Places: 2072 Field, Warp pad area, The Moon, Lunar wearhouse, The pink cloud zone, Tampo's Lair
Computer: Lappy HC
Lines: 200
Script
{Cut to the inside of the pickup truck}
KICKCHEAT: So how do we get to the moon?
STINKOMAN: There is a portal that can trasfer people to the moon.
STRONG BAD: Okay Stiny.
STINKOMAN: It's Stinkoman!
STRONG BAD: Sorry Stiny.
THE CHEAT: {Makes some The Cheat noises}
KICKCHEAT: Oh yeah. I need to check an e-mail.
THE CHEAT: {Makes some The Cheat noises}
KICKCHEAT: {Gets out his Lappy HC} Some how, I will survive the eight e-mail!
Dear KickCheat,
Why do you wear a propeller hat?
466664
KICKCHEAT: I don't wear a propeller hat 466664! Ask Homestar that! {Turns to Homestar} Hey Homestar!
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Yeah?
KICKCHEAT: Answer this e-mail.
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Alright!
{KickCheat gives Homestar the Lappy HC}
Dear KickCheat,
Why do you wear a propeller hat?
466664
{Says "Homestar" instead of KickCheat when reading the e-mail}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Why do I wear a propeller hat? Because it spins and plays a song from Night Court. It also glows in the dark! {Gives the Lappy HC to KickCheat} There, I answered it.
KICKCHEAT: Thanks baldy. {Puts the Lappy HC away} We should be near that portal soon.
STEPHEN: Yes, we should be close. About another 2 miles and we'll be there.
{Cut to a black screen that says "A few minutes later". Cut to the warp pad area}
1-UP: This will take us to the moon?
STEPHEN: Yes. {He pushes 1-p onto the warp pad. 1-Up disappears. No one does nothing for a few seconds}
STRONG BAD: Holy crap! {Jumps onto the warp pad}
THE CHEAT: {Makes some The Cheat noises} {Jumps onto the warp pad}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: That is one powerful toaster.
KICKCHEAT: That is not a toaster! {Pushes Homestar onto the warp pad. Homestar disappears}
STINKOMAN: DOUBLE DEUCE!! {Jumps onto the warp pad}
KICKCHEAT: {Turns to Stephen} You three coming?
STEPHEN: No, we'll wait for you here.
KICKCHEAT: Heck with it. {Jumps onto the warp pad}
STEPHEN: Good luck KickCheat.
{Cut to everyone, but KickCheat on the moon. KickCheat appears}
KICKCHEAT: This is space?
STINKOMAN: You got it!
KICKCHEAT: Weird. The pictures I see look beter than actually being on the moon.
{Cut to Nebulon watching the six on a TV screen}
NEBULON: So Tampo wasn't kidding. Six morons are after my capsule! Time to stir up some trouble!
{Nebulon walks upto a large bowl as big as a door}
NEBULON: My magic pot of terror will give me a hand!
{A hand that looks like Master Hand from super smash bros. comes out of the pot and flies away}
NEBULON: {sarcasticly} Ha, ha. Very funny pot! Now, create 500 mini nebulons.
{500 mini nebulons come out of the pot}
NEBULON: Now my troops. See these losers on my TV here?
{The 500 nebulons look at the TV}
NEBULON: These losers must die. You all got that?
ALL 500 MINI NEBULONS SIMUTAINIOUSLY: Yeah!
NEBULON: Okay, go!
{All 500 nebulons run offscreen chanting. Cut to KickCheat, Stinkoman, 1-Up, Strong Bad, The Cheat and Homestar}
KICKCHEAT: No, I swear, we are going the right way!
1-UP: You are going to say a swear?
STINKOMAN: It's a statement 1-Up!
STRONG BAD: {Looks up} Look out! Home coming asteroid or meteor!
{The six run offscreen. A mini nebulon walks onscreen}
MINI NEBULON: Destroy losers! Destroy losers!
{The asteroid hits him.}
MINI NEBULON: Oww! That hurt! {Dies}
{The six walk back onscreen}
THE CHEAT: {Makes some The Cheat noises}
STINKOMAN: I have a felling that we have a massive army of those green things coming to get us.
STRONG BAD: Argh! I hate it when the good guys are being ambushed by an army of aliens!
KICKCHEAT: Get used to it. I think we have a lot more coming to kill us.
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Can we have ice cream now?
1-UP: And pudding too?
STRONG BAD: No! Later after we get those six capsules!
HOMESTAR RUNNER AND 1-UP SIMUTAINIOUSLY: Aww crap!
KICKCHEAT: Can we get to that alien loser now?
THE CHEAT: {Makes some The Cheat noises}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Yeah, yeah.
{Cut to Nebulon watching the six on a TV}
NEBULON: Who dare kill one of my mini nebulons! They call me a loser! Only I am allowed to call them that! Well, they will be dead soon anyway.
{Cut to KickCheat, Stinkoman, 1-Up, Strong Bad, The Cheat and Homestar walking}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Are we there yet?
STRONG BAD: No.
1-UP: Are we there now?
STRONG BAD: Still no.
HOMESTAR RUNNER: How about now?
STRONG BAD: NO!
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Now?
STRONG BAD: Oh, will you just stut up! We will get there when we get there! Okay!
HOMESTAR RUNNER: {quietly} Yes.
STRONG BAD: Okay.
KICKCHEAT: Hey guys look. It's the rest of the aliens.
STINKOMAN: Wha..?
{Camera zoms out to show an army of mini nebulons}
THE CHEAT: {Makes some The Cheat noises}
STRONG BAD: Something. {Falls backwards}
KICKCHEAT: {Gets out his Lappy HC} Let's see them dance! {Pushes a button. A lightsaber appears}
STINKOMAN: Come on! We don't want to get Star Wars here!
KICKCHEAT: Well, it's only fourteen years until the space age anyway.
STINKOMAN: Oh, right.
KICKCHEAT: Time for a challenge!
{KickCheat starts to swing his lightsaber at the mini nebulons. They litterally "dance" to avoid being hit}
STRONG BAD: Okay, that is just plain funny! {Punches a mini nebulon} Come on guys! This is fun!
1-UP: Okay! {Walks up to a mini nebulon} Umm, KICK! {Kicks the mini nebulon}
1-UP: This is so boring! All we are doing is beating the crap out of aliens.
THE CHEAT: {Makes some The Cheat noises} {Runs away}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: What a chicken and a The Cheat! Time to go Super Mario Brothers!
{Homestar starts to jump on mini nebulons while the song from Super Mario Brothers plays}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Now that is classic fighting!
{The victory song from Super Mario Brothers plays}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Where is that music coming from?
{Cut to Stinkoman. Surronded by mini nebulons}
STINKOMAN: DOUBLE DEUCE!!!
{Starts to punch the mini nebulons}
STINKOMAN: 1972! I 1972'd you good!
{Cut to the six infront of a giant door}
KICKCHEAT: Time to get the second gold capsule!
HOMESTAR RUNNER: But what are going to do with that pile behind us?
{Camera zooms out to show a huge pile of dead mini nebulons}
KICKCHEAT: Uhh, nothing! Let's go already!
{The six go inside the big door. Cut to nebulon watching the six on a TV}
NEBULON: They beat my army? But how? Now they went through my door that has nothing behind it but me! This is worse than beans!
KICKCHEAT: {Offscreen} Yes it is bozo!
NEBULON: Who said that?
KICKCHEAT: {Offscreen} I did!
{Camera zooms over to KickCheat, Stinkoman, 1-Up, Strong Bad, Homestar and The Cheat}
KICKCHEAT: Give us that capsule!
NEBULON: {Offscreen} Never! Pot, send these wierdo's to the lunar wearhouse!
1-UP: Uh oh! Not the...
{Before 1-Up can finish, he, KickCheat, Stinkoman, Strong Bad, Homestar and The Cheat disappear. Camera zooms over to Nebulon}
NEBULON: Yes! They're gone! {quickly} It was the only excuse to make this e-mail longer!
{Cut to the outside of the lunar wearhouse. KickCheat, Stinkoman, 1-Up, Strong Bad, Homestar and The Cheat appear}
STRONG BAD: Ker-rap! Now we got to get through a crappy house on the moon!
HOMESTAR RUNNER: What's so crappy about it?
STRONG BAD: There is a spikey wall infront of it!
STINKOMAN: Uh guys. Look down. There is a ladder.
KICKCHEAT: Yeah, there really is a ladder!
THE CHEAT: {Makes some The Cheat noises}
{KickCheat, Stinkoman, 1-Up, Strong Bad, Homestar and The Cheat go down the ladder one at a time. Cut to the basement of the lunar wearhouse}
1-UP: Uh, now what?
KICKCHEAT: Look. There is nothing here! {walks to the right} All we need to do is just walk through!
{An arrow nearly hits KickCheat. He stops walking}
KICKCHEAT: Uh, never mind that! Who wants to go through?
THE CHEAT: {Makes some The Cheat noises}
STRONG BAD: You want to go through?
THE CHEAT: {Makes some The Cheat noises}
STRONG BAD: Okay.
{The Cheat starts to walk through the trap part of the room. Arrows, knives, giant stones and an anivil misses him}
THE CHEAT: {Makes some The Cheat noises}
{KickCheat, Stinkoman, 1-Up, Strong Bad and Homestar stand still surprised}
KICKCHEAT: Holy crap! That was amazing!
1-UP: That guy is braver than Stinkoman!
STINKOMAN: Stut up 1-Up!
KICKCHEAT: Come on! Time to walk on through!
{They walk to the right of the screen. Cut to KickCheat, Stinkoman, 1-Up, Strong Bad, Homestar and The Cheat in a hollow room with a throne with a capsule on it}
KICKCHEAT: Hey, look! The capsule!
{KickCheat runs up to the throne and grabs the capsule}
KICKCHEAT: That's two down. Four to go!
{Put's the capsule away}
STINKOMAN: Nebulon must have hid it here.
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Speaking of Nebulon. We still have to get rid of him.
KICKCHEAT: No we don't. We just have to leave the moon.
1-UP: We can jump off the moon!
STINKOMAN: Yeah! If we're lucky, we can land in the pink cloud zone!
{Cut to KickCheat, Stinkoman, 1-Up, Strong Bad, Homestar and The Cheat outside the lunar wearhouse}
KICKCHEAT: So, how do we jump off the moon?
NEBULON: {Offscreen} There is no way off the moon for heroes!
{Nebulon walks onscreen}
STRONG BAD: You again!
NEBULON: Me again!
STRONG BAD: Oh, I have something for you! {Punches Nebulon in the eye}
NEBULON: MEOW!!
1-UP: Get out of here Nebulon! No one likes your style! {Kicks Nebulon's other eye}
NEBULON: Help! I'm blind!
STINKOMAN: This is our chance to escape!
THE CHEAT: {Makes some The Cheat noises}
{KickCheat, Stinkoman, 1-Up, Strong Bad, Homestar and The Cheat jump onto Nebulon. Then they jump off him}
NEBULON: Please tell me you guys are gone!
{Crickets chirp}
NEBULON: Crap! I failed!
{Cut KickCheat, Stinkoman, 1-Up, Strong Bad, Homestar and The Cheat falling towards earth}
KICKCHEAT: So that's how you jump off the moon!
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Nebulon approved!
{They fall until they reach the pink cloud zone}
STINKOMAN: Here is where capsule number three is!
{They fall onto some clouds}
KICKCHEAT: That was wicked!
{Some pink clouds turn black}
STINKOMAN: An evil force is causing this!
THE CHEAT: {Makes some The Cheat noises}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Yeah! We need to find that third capsule quick!
KICKCHEAT: Yeah!
{KickCheat, Stinkoman, 1-Up, Strong Bad, Homestar and The Cheat walk offscreen. Cut to Tampo's lair}
TAMPO: So Stlunko. What is the curent status of the capsules?
STLUNKO: Nebulon is now blind and the second capsule has been taken by those guys.
TAMPO: Nuts! I though we had 100% death up on the moon!
STLUNKO: They somehow lived through all of the traps.
TAMPO: Brody! Where are they right now?
BRODY: The pink cloud zone.
TAMPO: Ah, The Liekand will get them!
BRODY: As long he doesn't go into his salesman routine.
TAMPO: SHUT UP!
BRODY: Sorry.
{The paper comes down}
