(even if you aren't vegan)
KickCheat E-mails/Lava Zone
KickCheat E-mails #7
KickCheat goes into the Lava Zone to save Stinkoman.
Cast: (in order of appearance): KickCheat, 1-Up, Strong Bad, Stephen, Homestar Runner, The Cheat, Saargtsson, Stinkoman, Firey Hot, Tampo, Brody, Stlunko
Places: Lava Zone, Tampo's Lair
Computer: Lappy HC
Lines: 181
Script
{Cut to inside the Lava Zone}
KICKCHEAT: Uh, this is the Lava Zone?
1-UP: Yeah, does it look like a lava zone?
STRONG BAD: {Slowly} Yes.
STEPHEN: Well, should you guys get going?
KICKCHEAT: You mean me, Strong Bad, 1-Up, Homestar and The Cheat?
STEPHEN: Yeah. Jason, Ray and I will wait at the enterance for you.
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Alright! Let's get this party started!
STRONG BAD: Traslation, let's get this done before we die.
KICKCHEAT: Cut the crap Strong Bad! Before we start, I need to check an e-mail.
STEPHEN: Okay bozo. {leaves}
KICKCHEAT: Okay. {Gets out his Lappy HC} E-mails in lava land!
Dear KickCheat,
What is your favorite video game?
Douglas
KICKCHEAT: Uh, what is my favorite video game? Well I have more than one favorite game. My favorite video games are Pikmin 2, Kirby 64, Super Smash Bros. Melee, Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door and New Super Mario Brothers. There you go Douglas.
{Puts his Lappy HC away}
THE CHEAT: {Makes some The Cheat noises}
KICKCHEAT: Yeah, we are going to save Stinky now.
1-UP: It's Stinkoman!
KICKCHEAT: Whatever Kidstar.
1-UP: My name is 1-Up! Stop calling me and Stinky names!
STRONG BAD: You just called Stinkoman a name.
1-UP: D'oh!
KICKCHEAT: Can we get going now?
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Yeah.
THE CHEAT: {Makes some The Cheat noises}
STRONG BAD: 1-Up is over..hey! Where is he?
KICKCHEAT: Oh crap! He must have got annoyed and went off on his own!
THE CHEAT: {Makes some The Cheat noises}
{Camera zooms out and a ladder is shown on the left of the screen}
STRONG BAD: Good idea! We can use the ladder and some swiches to save 1-Up!
{Cut to 1-Up walking alone}
1-UP: If those morons are gonna torcher me! I'll do this myself!
{1-Up keeps walking and walks to a lava fall}
1-UP: I can go though that lava fall by myself!
{Cut to KickCheat, The Cheat, Strong Bad and Homestar on the second floor infront of the same lava fall. A blue swich is behind them}
KICKCHEAT: We got to block the lava some how!
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Maybe that blue swich behind us can help!
THE CHEAT: {Makes some The Cheat noises}
KICKCHEAT: Here, I'll jump on it.
{KickCheat jumps on the swich. A ding is heard and the lava fall stops. Cut to 1-Up on the bottom floor}
1-UP: Hey! Where did the lava go?
{Cut to the second floor}
EVERYONE SIMUTAINIOUSLY: YES!
KICKCHEAT: This is one our tests of being heroes!
THE CHEAT: {Makes some The Cheat noises}
STRONG BAD: We got many more to do!
HOMESTAR RUNNER: I hope 1-Up is okay down there.
KICKCHEAT: He is. We mainly have to worry about ourselves. If we pass out, 1-Up kicks the can.
{Homestar faints}
KICKCHEAT: sigh This will be hard.
STRONG BAD: Told ya!
{Cut to the bottom floor.}
1-UP: {singing} Do da do da de! Do da do da de! {faces the camera} That is my little song!
{1-Up walks up to a pink cham cham}
1-UP: Uh oh! An enemy! What do I do?
KICKCHEAT: {offscreen} Kick it!
1-UP: Who said that?
KICKCHEAT: {offscreen} Uh, your mind did!
1-UP: Whatever!
{1-Up kicks the pink cham cham. It blows up}
1-UP: That was to easy. Thank you mind!
KICKCHEAT: {offscreen} No problem!
{1-Up keeps walking. Cut to the second floor}
STRONG BAD: Nice touch KickCheat! He actually fell for that!
KICKCHEAT: Well, it is good he did. If he didn't fall for it. I can imagine the results.
{Homestar faints}
STRONG BAD: Cut it out Homestar! 1-Up is fine! He won't die.
{Cut to the bottom floor.}
1-UP: Yay! Being six sure does help! I made it to the end all by myself!
{Saargtsson's silhouette appears}
1-UP: Oh no! It's the same silhouette that kidnapped Stinkoman!
{Saargtsson's silhouette kidnaps 1-Up. Cut to the second floor}
THE CHEAT: {Makes some The Cheat noises}
STRONG BAD: I think we are getting close!
HOMESTAR RUNNER: My legs are getting tired!
KICKCHEAT: And I am sweating!
{They walk until they get to a ladder}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: A ladder! We're saved!
THE CHEAT: {Makes some The Cheat noises}
{They go down the ladder. Cut to Stinkoman and 1-Up in a cage}
STINKOMAN: You had to get kidnapped too eh?
1-UP: Yeah, it's my fault why I am in this cage. If I didn't run away from the people I found, I wouldn't be here.
STINKOMAN: You found help?
1-UP: Yeah. Three humans and four guys from 2006.
STINKOMAN: So they are coming?
1-UP: The guys from 2006 are. They should be here soon.
{Saargtsson walks onscreen}
SAARGTSSON: You two will be fed to my friend, Firey Hot!
STINKOMAN: Oh crap!
KICKCHEAT: {offscreen} No they won't!
SAARGTSSON: Wha..?
{camera zooms over to KickCheat, Homestar, Strong Bad and The Cheat}
THE CHEAT: {Makes some The Cheat noises}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: We four will show you lava freak who's boss!
STRONG BAD: Yeah!
KICKCHEAT: I have heard of a challenge before, so we are asking you for a challenge you creep!!
STRONG BAD: Besides. There are four of us, and only one of you!
SAARGTSSON: You mean two.
STRONG BAD: Huh?
{Firey Hot appears}
KICKCHEAT: Well, here we go!
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Strong Bad and I will take care of the fire thing, and you and The Cheat will take care of Saargtsson!
KICKCHEAT: {quickly} Okay! CHARGE!!
{KickCheat and The Cheat run to Saargtsson and Homestar and Strong Bad head for Firey Hot. Cut to The Cheat and KickCheat fighting Saargtsson}
KICKCHEAT: Okay! How can we beat this guy?
SAARGTSSON: Like I'm telling you!
KICKCHEAT: I didn't ask you lava creep!
THE CHEAT: {Makes some The Cheat noises}
KICKCHEAT: Good idea!
{KickCheat gets out a hammer}
KICKCHEAT: Hamma time!
SAARGTSSON: Uh oh!
{Saargtsson runs away from KickCheat. KickCheat starts to chase him. The Cheat out runs the two and hops on top of Saargtsson}
THE CHEAT: {Makes some The Cheat noises}
KICKCHEAT: Okay The Cheat!
{KickCheat throws the hammer to The Cheat}
THE CHEAT: {Makes some The Cheat noises}
{Saargtsson notices The Cheat with a hammer on him}
SAARGTSSON: Okay, not cool!
{The Cheat hits Saargtsson on the head really hard, knocking Saargtsson out}
SAARGTSSON: .........
KICKCHEAT: We did it!
THE CHEAT: {Makes some The Cheat noises}
{Cut to Homestar and Strong Bad fighting Firey Hot}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Hey Strong Bad...
STRONG BAD: {Interups Homestar} No, wait a minute. Shut up. How do we beat living fire?
HOMESTAR RUNNER: I know how! {Runs off. Returns later with a bucket of water and a twinke}
STRONG BAD: Water? That's a good idea!
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Take that you fire thing!
{Homestar throws the bucket of water at Firey Hot, but he misses}
HOMESTAR RUNNER: CRAP!
{Homestar throws the twinke at Firey Hot. It his Firey Hot directly and he disappears}
STRONG BAD: What?! How can a twinke beat a bad guy?
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Oh, that one can from blue background land.
{KickCheat and The Cheat walk onscreen to Strong Bad and Homestar}
KICKCHEAT: Did you beat the fire thing?
STRONG BAD: Did you beat Saargtsson?
STRONG BAD AND KICKCHEAT SIMUTAINIOUSLY: Yes.
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Okay, let's go save Stinkoman and 1-Up!
{Cut to Everyone at the cage with Stinkoman and 1-Up in it}
STRONG BAD: Uh, how do we get them out?
KICKCHEAT: With this. {Gets out a key}
STRONG BAD: Hey! Where did you find the key?
KICKCHEAT: On Saargtsson.
{KickCheat opens the cage with the key. Stinkoman and 1-Up get out of the cage}
1-UP: Yay! We are free!
HOMESTAR RUNNER: Whew! 1-Up is okay!
STRONG BAD: That Stinkoman guy is related to me, but I am not starting anything!
STINKOMAN: Thanks for saving me guys!
KICKCHEAT: No problem! We have a few things to ask you, but let's get out of this lava pit first!
{Cut to the entrance of the lava zone}
STEPHEN: You guys saved Stinkoman!
STINKOMAN: Who is that guy?
KICKCHEAT: He is the one who told me about the world ending by sending me an e-mail.
STINKOMAN: Okay, so what do you want to ask me?
KICKCHEAT: About Tampo and his army.
STINKOMAN: Oh, that. Well. I saw Tampo being created. I ran off as soon as Tampo went mad. I followed him to a evil lair in a forest. He created six master warriors and he stole the world's most powerful capsules and gave them to his six master warriors. One day, he meet Brody and Stlunko. You might know that already. Then I decided to fight him. But that lava snake got me. And you know the rest.
STRONG BAD: Yeah, we know the rest. So we have to get six capsules back from Tampo?
STINKOMAN: Yeah, or else the world will end. Oh, I just remembered something.
{Stinkoman get's out a 24 Karat Capsule}
STINKOMAN: I found this around when you guys saved me.
KICKCHEAT: Woah! That is what we are after?
STINKOMAN: Yeah! We have five more to get. On the moon, in the clouds, in a frozen climate, a negative zone and in a forest.
KICKCHEAT: You guys up to it?
STRONG BAD: Yeah. Come on! We don't have all day!
STEPHEN: We three will drive you guys to where you need to go.
KICKCHEAT: Okay. We need to get to the moon!
STEPHEN: Okay! Everybody in!
{They go into the pickup truck. It drives away. Cut to Tampo at his lair}
TAMPO: WHAT?! I just lost a warrior and a capsule?!
BRODY: Yep. But there are still five that are fine.
TAMPO: Stlunko! Tell me who did it!
STLUNKO Four people from 2006, 1-Up and Stinkoman.
TAMPO: Stinkoman got away?
STLUNKO Yeah. The 2006 people saved him, and now they are heading towards the moon!
TAMPO: The moon eh? We wern't prepared last time, so I'll warn Nebulon about this. He will send his troops after them!
STLUNKO Okay. You're the boss.
BRODY: And why am I the only one who is not a robot?
TAMPO: {quickly} I don't know.
BRODY: Yeah, I don't know either.
TAMPO: Stinkoman, 1-Up, 2006 people, I'll get ya!
{The paper comes down. A few seconds later}
TAMPO: Okay. Time for some grease!
STLUNKO Yay!
BRODY: NOOOO!
TAMPO: You get corn Brody!
BRODY: Yay!