The SkullB Show/12

Overview

Episode 12: Talkin' 'Bout No Home Blues

Now homeless, Casey, Jerry and SkullB need to live with someone in the meanwhile--but with who?

CAST: Jerry, SkullB, Casey, Tom, Aruseus, Foxx, Garzel, Lucas, Elyssa

PLACES: The Apartment, SkullB's Apartment, Cast House, SkullB House

PAGE TITLE: Mumble Music?

Transcript

{Open: the van. Jerry is still driving.}

JERRY: Man, that was an awesome five-minute trip! Or so it seems.

SKULLB: I just can't wait to get back to our little...

{The van pulls up to the apartment. The exploded section is still there.}

SKULLB: Hole... in... the... WALL?

JERRY: What happened to our apartment?!

{Tom peeks out of the hole.}

TOM: It's a funny story, actually.

JERRY: No it isn't!

{Cue theme song.}

{Cut: SkullB's Apartment. Everything is in ruins.}

JERRY: Tom, what happened here? How did all this get destroyed in the what, week we were gone?

TOM: Funny thing happened, actually. I tried to cook Easy Mac--

JERRY: Let- let me stop you there. You screwed up Easy Mac?

TOM: Let me tell you, that product lies. It's not easy to make at all.

JERRY: So, somehow, this whole place EXPLODED?

TOM: Like I said, it's a funny story. You see, I thought wrapping it in tinfoil and popping it in the microwave would accelerate the cooking process. It turns out that when you put tinfoil in the microwave-

JERRY: It explodes. Yes, I've heard.

TOM: And now there's a big chunk of your wall missing.

SKULLB: WE NOTICED.

CASEY: Well, it could be worse. My apartment's still okay, right?

TOM: ... Yeah, about that.

CASEY: Why you LITTLE-

{Casey starts to strangle Tom. Eventually, she throws him down.}

CASEY: You mean to say that we're ALL homeless?

TOM: Y-y-y-yes?

{Casey kicks Tom, who is still on the ground.}

TOM: WHAT WAS THAT FOR?

CASEY: What the hell do you THINK that was for?

SKULLB: Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.

JERRY: Well, gang, we're in a bit of a pickle. We've got to move in with someone else.

SKULLB: Can't we just live at the soup kitchen?

JERRY: No way, man. There's this fairy over there that creeps me right the heck out.

CASEY: How about we move in with our OTHER neighbors?

JERRY: What other neighbors? We're the only ones who live in this apartment complex!

SKULLB: Hm.

TOM: You know... some of my friends might oblige to let you stay at their place for a bit...

SKULLB: Oh, really?

{An owl flies by.}

JERRY: Hello new running gag!

{A bowling ball hits Jerry in the stomach.}

{Cut: the Cast House from The Aura Chronicles. SkullB, Jerry, Casey and Tom walk in.}

JERRY: Wow, nice.

SKULLB: Why can't we have a nice big sitcom house?

CASEY: Because none of us can pay for it?

{Aruseus walks in.}

ARUSEUS: Higgity-higgity-hey, everyone!

SKULLB: {whispering to Tom} Who's THIS nutjob?

TOM: {whispering to SkullB} That's Aruseus. Best to stay away from him.

ARUSEUS: Hey, Tommy-Boy, who're these three?

CASEY: Hi, Casey Harris.

JERRY: Jerry Cohen.

SKULLB: And I'm Liesl!

{Pause}

SKULLB: I mean Skullbuggy.

ARUSEUS: Oh, I remember you! I dropped a bowling ball on your TV once. Grood times.

{Foxx and Garzel walk in.}

FOXX: Ah, looks like we've got more mouths to feed.

ARUSEUS: Ah, Foxx. Your cynical attitude will NEVER get old!

FOXX: But seriously, who are these creeps?

GARZEL: I can't help but think one of them is familiar.

CASEY: Don't make us do the name thing again.

JERRY: Oh, we're just Tom's friends. He blew up our apartment so we're staying here.

GARZEL: Typical. Let me get you something--I can't help but feel sympathy.

{Foxx walks off. Lucas and Elyssa come in.}

LUCAS: Hey, aren't you Skullbuggy?

SKULLB: Yep!

LUCAS: I was on your pledge drive! It sucked, but I did it anyway.

CASEY: So who's the pink gal? Didn't see her last time.

ELYSSA: I'm Elyssa!

CASEY: Cool, I can FINALLY relate with someone on this show.

LUCAS: Welp, weclome to our humble abode. Feel free to partake in--

{SkullB and Jerry run toward the kitchen.}

LUCAS: --not listening to me.

{Cut: the kitchen. Jerry and SkullB are making sandwiches.}

JERRY: Skully, how do you eat?

SKULLB: Willpower and determination, my good Jerry.

{Aruseus walks in.}

ARUSEUS: Look out, I'm about to do some wacky stuff!

FOXX: {offscreen} I'm getting a mop!

{Aruseus takes a scoop of ice cream from out of the freezer and puts it on some bread.}

ARUSEUS: Dude! I just made the greatest food EVER.

JERRY: An... ice cream sandwich?

ARUSEUS: Heck yeah! I've pioneered frozen dessert treats as we know it!

{SkullB grabs an ice cream sandwich (the real kind) from the freezer.}

ARUSEUS: WHAT? Someone stole my idea! I'm taking this to court!

{Aruseus runs off, dropping his "ice cream sandwich" on the way. Foxx walks in with a mop and starts cleaning.}

JERRY: Foxx? How do you live here without killing everyone?

FOXX: You mean I could KILL them? Hm, I'd better write this down.

{Cut: the living room. Casey and Elyssa are sitting on the couch, watching TV.}

CASEY: How do you stand living with a bunch of crazy men all the time?

ELYSSA: I don't know. I only stay around 'cause of Lucas. He's the only reason I'm on this show.

CASEY: Show?

ELYSSA: Uh- buh- never mind.

CASEY: Yeah, this is the first time I've actually lived with another woman in the house. It's comforting in a way.

{Garzel pops out from behind the couch.}

GARZEL: Comforting? Ooh, this is gonna be HOT.

{Elyssa backhands Garzel into the wall.}

CASEY: Holy hell! How'd you do that?

ELYSSA: Not only am I Lucas' girlfriend, I'm also a pro kickboxer. I train offscreen.

{Cut: the living room, later. Aruseus, Tom, Jerry, SkullB and Garzel sit on the couch, watching TV.}

JERRY: Wow, I feel like I'm at home already!

ARUSEUS: What, all you do is watch TV?

JERRY: Pretty much yes.

ARUSEUS: Oh. I want to live with you guys some day!

SKULLB: Ha ha ha no you wouldn't.

TOM: Trust me on this one.

{Foxx walks in with drinks for everyone.}

FOXX: Your drinks, sirs?

{As they reach for the drinks, Foxx throws them offscreen.}

FOXX: Get them yourselves, you lazy bums!

{Fox walks off.}

SKULLB: What a jerk!

ARUSEUS: You get used to it.

JERRY: So... what do YOU guys do around here?

ARUSEUS: Now that I think about it, we mainly just piss each other off.

TOM: People love it!

JERRY: Huh. Nobody likes OUR antics.

{Pan over to show Bellstrom and Homestar tiger holding "WE HEART SKULLB" signs and frowning.}

SKULLB: Anyway, what else do you do?

TOM: You know, I'm not sure.

ARUSEUS: We've only had three episodes, man!

{Cut: outside the Cast House. Jerry, Casey and SkullB are leaving.}

SKULLB: Well, it's been good!

JERRY: But we're never coming back.

CASEY: Instead, we'll be going to our own, NEW place to live! Together, even!

ARUSEUS: {under his breath} They are SO biting our style.

SKULLB: We'll try to miss you!

{The three get on a bus that pulls in front of them. The bus drives away.}

{Cut: a big house. The bus stops in front of it and the trio get off.}

SKULLB: Here it is... the Skullbuggy house!

{An angelic chorus plays as the sun rises behind the house, illuminating it.}

JERRY: So, how'd you pay for this again?

SKULLB: Bowling ball insurance.

JERRY: Bowling ball insurance?

{A bowling ball hits Jerry.}

SKULLB: Yep.

{Cue credits.}