Second Hand Fics/SAS/eps/2

Summary

The Garlics come,

LEX: EJAC-U-LATE, EJAC-U-LAAAAAAAATE.

LEX: i am sorry

REMOLAY: No you aren't. Not even slightly

and wreak havok on everyone.

Transcript

{Cut to the meeting room. Chaos is there, showing a new experiment.}

SEPHIROTH: Come on! Don't keep us waiting! Show us!

{The Spart

LEX: cringe

comes in, holding a mirror, and coming his hair at the same time.}

REMOLAY: That just might be the most disgusting thing I've read on this website.

THE SPART: Meh. It's probably a mutated rat, or something.

CHAOS: Well, first I have an announcement. We successfully made it through the tachyon belt! Nobody died, but Sephiroth's curry was absorbed into the atmosphere upon impact, so I used a hologram generator to make it look like it's still there.

REMOLAY: Because as we all know, holographic curry is just as edible as existing curry.

By the way, has anyone seen CC?

{Cut to CC's robot, projecting an image of Currey

LEX: jim currey

instead of CC.}

CHAOS: Oh, that's right. Now, I will show you my latest invention!

REMOLAY: is it the curry hologram?

{Chaos holds up a set of earphones.}

REMOLAY: Not an invention

CHAOS: I made them to be compatable with the boombox

REMOLAY: Every pair of headphones ever.

I found while we where traveling the belt. That's sorta how we lost the curry.

SEPHIROTH: We lost.. the curry? {Starts to cry.}

{K-Bot HR'D (robot Kirbychu HR'D) enters.}

K-BOT: {in a low pitched, monotone voice} Greetings. I have just mostly recovered from a serious system error. The error caused 3 of the 7 connections between my main system and the chip that controls my personality to fry, so I dis-connected the chip to avoid a system failure. Repair would be advised.

THE SPART: Eek. I don't know anything about this droid mambo jambo.

K-BOT: All you must do is remove the panel between my noise receptors (ears), replace the rotted wires, hook the dangling plug into the only open outlet in my main receptor, put the panel back in place, and reboot me. It's quite simple.

LEX: this sounds more like a kinky robot sex fantasy than anything else
REMOLAY: I haven't the slightest clue what the hell is going on.

{Another robot, this time actually showing CC, walks up to the imposter}

CC: Yeah, who's the wise guy?

REMOLAY: a bowl of curry, I think.

{Userunknown walks in.He is holding his helmet and missing his cyborg eye}

USERUNKNOWN:Chaos!!!!Give me my cyborg eye back!

{A nearby closet opens, and GR-01 walks out dazedly.}

GR-01: Statement: OW! That hurt!

REMOLAY: oh hello both of you. Get the fuck out before I actually ask what the hell you're doing here.

USERUNKNOWN:So?It hurts only having one eye!Who took my cyborg eye?!?

LEX: It hurts having to read your simultaneous overuse yet lack of usage of punctuation!!!!!Yeah?!?!?!

GR-01: I think I saw it in the closet I just came out of.

LEX: and we will always support you, son

USERUNKNOWN:Pass it to me, will you?

{GR-01 goes back into the closet and comes out with a robotic eye. He gives it to Userunknown.}

USERUNKNOWN:{Puts the eye back in}Thanks.What's the big news?

GR-01: Statement: I don't think there is any big news. Just that we lost that strange meatbag food--I mean, strange human food. Stupid clause...

REMOLAY: WHAT!?

USERUNKNOWN:Then why did you guys wake me up?

LEX: now why would you think we'd willingly want you awake

GR-01: Statement: Erm...we could.

{Cut to the opening. Fade in on the bridge where GIM2 is looking at the engine. The words "Attack of the Garlics" fade in down the bottom, then fade back out.}

GIM2: That attack we got into with those strange aliens cost us quite a bit. It'll take us a while to get this up and running again.

{Userunknown walks in wearing full armour.}

USERUNKNOWN: Try kicking it.

GIM2: That'll just damage it more. {takes out a sonic screwdriver and starts fixing it}

LEX: these are less homages as they are us getting these references and shoving it down your throat until you start choking on your own respiratory system

{On the Main computer screen, a garlic shaped Dalek appears.}

GARLIC: Greetings Mortals! We are the Garlics!

REMOLAY: You know, I love garlics but you don't have to use them every seasoning

We we

REMOLAY: Mais non.

ANNIHILATE YOU!! ANNIHILATE! ANNIHILATE!

USERUNKNOWN:No thank you.I'll put you in for next blursday.Today the scottish space program is after us.

CHAOS: It says here the Swedish space program is after us today. Scottish is tomorrow.

GARLIC: It is not an option. We are boarding your ship.

{The Garlics come in, and start spraying foul odours everywhere. Everyone starts choking.}

GARLIC: Feel the wrath of our Garlic breath.

REMOLAY: These are by far the worst enemies I've ever heard of...

{One of the Wibbles hops on the first Garlic that Came in. Chaos also gets on the floor and begins to eat the Garlic with the Wibble.}

GARLIC: ANNIHILATE!!! {Shoots Chaos with a Red Hot Lazerbeam.}

{Suddenly, the computer screen changes to Guffaw.}

GUFFAW: Hello, there. I see you have some visitors.

GARLIC: Shut your Always Open Mouth you horrible excuse for a laugh.

CHAOS: Go! Disease Super-Cure!

{Joseph throws a chicken wing with Ipod headphones in it. It plays "Time After Time" when it hits the Garlic.}

CHAOS: {To the song} do-do-doo, do-do-doo, do-do-dunh-dunh-doo, Time After Time!

REMOLAY: Cyndi Lauper! My one weakness!

{GR-01 charges in.}

GR-01: DIE, VEGGIEBAGS!

{GR-01's right arm turns into a bazooka and he bazooks the lot of Garlics.}

{The smoke clears, to reveal that the Garlics ate the Rockets.}

GARLIC: Ammo is a gourmet food on our planet. Now it's out turn. {Shoots everyone with a freeze beam, and freezes them.}

{Userunknown armor heats up and melts the ice}

USERUNKNOWN:Hey, look! The swedes!

{He shoots the garlics with pasta}

GARLIC: Dangit we are not Swedish! We aren't even from Earth! ...Well, Bob here, has some Italian DNA, but that's it.

USERUNKNOWN:No, I mean the swedes in the spaceship behind your spaceship.

GARLIC: ....

REMOLAY: Such dialogue.

{Cut to the Garlic's Spaceship. It shoots lots of Red Beams, and destroys all the spaceships. Cut back.} Not anymore.

USERUNKNOWN:Look!More of them!{Points behind the garlics and shoots them with boiling water when they turn around}

GARLIC: Boiling water? How about BLAZING FIRE!!! {Flame Throwers come up, and they set userunknown on fire.}

USERUNKNOWN:Uhhh...I'm wearing armor.It is kinda fire proof.{Sets the garlics on fire}

GARLIC: Fool. If we're not fireproof, while could we shoot fire! Think again! {Starts to shoot Userunknown with Blazing Hot Lazer Beams, which dent the armour.} Why do people think we're made of garlic? WE'RE JUST SHAPED LIKE ONE!!

K-BOT HR'D: {inhales a garlic, speaks normal} Not bad. It could use some cheese and maybe a hint of basil just for that little kick. I'll be right back!

{K-Bot runs off. He comes back a few minutes later with basil powder and melted cheese sauce. He pours both all over the garlics and eats them.}

K-Bot HR'D: I KNEW basil would help! {burps}

USERUNKNOWN:Weird.They thought denting my armor would help?{Kills a huger amount of garlics}

{More Garlics come.}

GARLIC: There is no use in killing us. There are over 100000 Billion of us, in this Galaxy alone. Oh yeah.. Did anyone lose a tank of Curry? {Brings in a Large Tank of Curry. Sephiroth rushes to it in Happiness.}

SEPHIROTH: My Curry! YAY!!!

REMOLAY: Plot twist, this too is holographic

GARLIC: Oh this is useless. Let's go guys.

{They all leave and fly away in their Spaceship.}

USERUNKNOWN:Wow.That Dr.Who guy was right.

REMOLAY: And with that, your reference was ruined.

SEPHIROTH: Let's Celebrate. WITH CURRY!!!

{The episode ends, with everyone at the table, eating curry.}

GUFFAW: Wow, I wish I had a digestive system.

REMOLAY: So I could wreck it with this curry