Mystery of the Lost Mystery

SUMMARY: After months without work, the Samiyaza Paranormal Investigation Agency, collectively known as Demon Hunters Inc., are hired when a man begins experiencing loss of time.

Transcript

{In Venice Beach, Los Angeles, California, there is a small warehouse off the side of the road. A large sign has been placed in front, dictating "SAMIYAZA PARANORMAL INVESTIGATIONS". The city has tried to get rid of it, but technically, the warehouse is owned and therefore they cannot touch it. Inside the warehouse, are the three loons members of SPIA, Raiku Samiyaza, Raggon Blade, and his brother, Raggonix. Raggon and Raggonix are playing Ping Pong, as Raiku is passed out on a futon. Suddenly, a phone on a night stand next to Raiku rings. He jolts up, grabbing it.}

RAIKU: Yes, this is the...SAMIYAZA PARANORMAL INVESTIGATION AGENCY, how may I help you?

GOVERNMENT CLERK: This is the city of Los Angeles, we need to tal-

RAIKU: One moment, let me forward you to a supervisor.

{Raiku hangs up. He's about to fall asleep when the phone rings again. He angrily grabs it.}

RAIKU: CAN'T YOU GET THE MESSAGE?

MAN: I'm sorry, is this not the SAMIYAZA PARANORMAL INVESTIGATION AGENCY? Maybe I have the wrong num-

RAIKU: Oh, sorry, thought you were the government! No, no, this is the SPIA. How may I help you? Vampire taken your basement? Lycans in your crops? Bedbugs in your be- actally, I'd see an exterminator for that one.

MAN: I can't..I'm losing lapses of time. I'm somewhere one moment, and the next, I'm elsewhere.

RAIKU: It's called walking. I'm afraid I can't he-

MAN: The thing is, it's not just the memory loss. Lights are flickering, I'm hearing weird noises.

RAIKU: Have you seen a doctor? Usually, that helps with early stages of dimen-

HARRIET: I'm not crazy! Please! My name is Oswald Harriet, of Harriet's Auto Repairs, please stop by my shop and help me!

RAIKU: I don't kn-

HARRIET: I'll pay.

{Raiku's eyes widen, as he listens.}

RAIKU: When should I drop by?

HARRIET: It usually happens at night..could you show up around 9-ish?

RAIKU: Sure thing! See you then!

{Raiku hangs up.}

RAIKU: Should I charge by the hour this time?

RAGGON: Totally.

{9-ish, Harriet's Auto Repairs. Raiku shows up in his SHELBY GT500, thanks for the money, Shelby, and gets out of the car. He grabs a flashlight, and knocks. Harriet opens the door, allowing him in.}

RAIKU: Okay, so, I'm going to observe you. I pay by the hour as well, just in case this is a fraud, as I still want money.

HARRIET: Wait, aren't you the one who I should be worried about being a fraud?

RAIKU: Shut up.

{A few hours past, as they watch a sports game. Suddenly, Harriet turns off the TV, and stands up.}

RAIKU: Are you alright? I mean, the score was bad, but-

{Harriet ignores him, and begins to walk upstairs. Raiku closely follows.}

RAIKU: Oswald? Ozzie? OZBOURNE. Hehehe. Are you okay?

{Harriet keeps walking, and pulls down the ladder to the attic. Raiku grabs him.}

RAIKU: Hey, I don't like being ignored, s-

{Harriet stares Raiku in the eyes, and violently shoves him. Raiku goes flying across the hall.}

RAIKU: HOLY SHIIIIIIII

{He crashes into a wall, as plaster falls onto him. He's springing up, limping.}

RAIKU: Okay, there is totally something wrong with you. SHINE ON, BITCH.

{Raiku shines the light in his eyes. Harriet begins to scream, as a mist leaves through his mouth, and begins floating around. It takes a humanoid shape, and begins lifting stuff in the hall.}

RAIKU: MOMMY MOMMY.

HARRIET: I thought you were an "expert" in this? ARE YOU SERIOUSLY AFRAID OF A GHOST?

RAIKU: ONLY BECAUSE I AM UNPREPARED, I THOUGHT IT'D BE LIKE AN EGYPTIAN MEMORY LEECH OR SOMETHING. NOT A FUCKING GHOST.

HARRIET: You are the worst paranormal detective ever. NOW GET IT OUT OF MY HOUSE.

{Raiku begins shining the light at it, as it tries to fly into the attic. Raiku flashes the light up the ladder, blocking it. He then approaches it with the light, until it vanishes.}

RAIKU: So..what's up there that it was so interested in..?

HARRIET: Nothing. Here's your money.

RAIKU: Oh, goodie!

{Harriet hands him the cash, as Raiku skips out. Cut back to the warehouse/apartment.}

RAIKU: And that, Raggon, is how I bravely defeated a spirit.

RAGGON: Uhuh. Then why did you immediately change your pants when you got back?

RAIKU: No reason.

FIN.