(even if you aren't vegan)
The World's Greatest/76
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here are some true stories
Cisscript
{Open to the two}
HENRY: So, Quint, how did your ear candling go?
QUINT: Went down smooth, like a Belarus Budgerigar.
HENRY: Oh, is that a drink?
QUINT: No, I mean when I eat budgerigar's what the hell
HENRY: Oh. You know, I'm part budgerigar.
QUINT: what how
HENRY: How do you think I can fly?
QUINT: Oh.
HENRY: Come to think of it, I haven't seen mum in a while. Not since you last went to the Belorussian pet shop!!
QUINT: I think that's because she works as an ear candler, and gives ear candlings to all the fluffy animals. Being a fluffy animal, I was there. I had so much earwax and stuff that she had to have a little rest.
HENRY: Oh, that sounds fair enough.
{Short pause}
QUINT: Also I ate her.
{End}