(even if you aren't vegan)
Battle Royale
Contents
Premise
Every wiki user has gained every type of super power and the knowledge on how to use them. Anyone can join the battle at any time.
Rules
- While any type of attack may be used, you can never actually say that you've killed an enemy, until that enemy admits defeat.
- Anybody who trolls is ejected and treated like they never happened. Remember, don't feed the troll.
- A user may only make one act per turn.
- If a storyline is going on, try your best to follow it.
- Trolling is defined as:
- Cancelling somebody's attack.
- Deliberately trying to ruin the game.
- Acting immature.
- Spamming.
Participants
Battleground
{DonZabu is walking down a lonely country road. The landscape is sparse, with mountains to the east. The occasional tree is the only vegetation. Far away, he can see Im a Bell walking towards him.}
DONZABU: THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!
{DonZabu kicks the ground, throwing dust into the air. He turns each individual grain into a knife, and sends them all flying at Im a Bell.}
IM A BELL:{swallows knifes} Mmm! May I have some more? {gets out a flsask of blood, drinks, puts away} Ahh. Now then. {gets out a pitch-black guitar with a multi-colored Chaos Emerald on it, plays a chord, everything opens in Paint. Bell clicks Select, pushes the crosshair forward at the top-left corner of DonZabu, drags to the bottom right, smacks the box around Don with his right hand, clicks Cut, walks to a cliff, smacks the air with right hand, clicks Paste, drags the box around DonZabu over the cliff, smacks the air beside Don. The box around DonZabu disappears} Control X. {Paint disappears, DonZabu falls down the cliff. A few minutes later, he can be heard landing}
DONZABU: {As Im a Bell is walking away, DonZabu floats up. A giant fireball explodes around him, blasting Im a bell into the air and sending him flying about 150 feet. He then grabs the fireball and hurls it at Im a Bell, setting him on fire.}
{another bell lands (he has millions of clones) beside the inflamed bell}
IM A BELL: Roasted Bell? {breaks off one of the corpse's arm, eats it} Mmm. Thanks, DonZabu! I needed a snack. {pauses, looks around} Hey... Where's Chaos? Isn't he supposed to be here?
DONZABU: There he is!
(DonZabu sees chaos walking along the road. His arms turn into two lightsaber-tentacles that rip Chaos in half.)
{Znex warps in.}
ZNEX: Hello peoples. {throws a coconut made out of steel at DonZabu}
{The Ground starts to viberate heavily, until an Earthquake happens, and Sephiroth jumps out of the cracks, holding a guitar.}
SEPHIROTH: SOUND WAVE ATTACK!!! {Singing} WE WILL, WE WILL ROCK YOU!! {Sharp Soundwaves come out of the guitar, and cuts DonZabu a bit.}
{Chaos rises from a purple bolt of light with the zanmato, and cuts off Sephiroth's hand.}
CHAOS: Zanmato!
SEPHIROTH: Weird. This doesn't hurt. Well, a hand for a hand. {Plays a sharp note, and cuts off Chao's hand. He then regrows his own.}
CHAOS: Oh no! I've lost my hand! {grows it back} Ha-ha-ha!
{Ten minutes later. Chaos, and Sephiroth are still standing, with a large pile of hands on the floor.}
SEPHIROTH: {Slices Chao's foot off.} There, a change!
{Chaos grows the foot back.}
CHAOS: OK. Your turn.
{Chaos Slices off Sephiroth's foot.}
SEPHIROTH: {Foot regrows.} Okay, this is getting boring. Wanna just shoot large energy blasts at random people?
CHAOS: Let's use my new weapon!
{Chaos pulls out a giant proton cannon, with a gatling gun ring around it.}
CHAOS: The Black Sabbath! Taste DEATH!
{Chaos randomly fires off everything.}
{Sephiroth pulls out a tiny little gun.}
SEPHIROTH: Teehee. {The gun fires off a tiny blast, which explodes, covering a 100KM Radius.}
IM A BELL: Hmm... I wonder... {jams a WMP icon onto a wristwatch, clicks it, chooses "Joey's Camel" by 10cc, the song plays}
{the scenery changes to a desert. a cobra can be seen crawling on Chaos' feet. The Ten Commandments stone tablets can be seen broken and stuck in the sand. a man with a gray beard can be seen dead outside of a tent near the broken tablets}
IM A BELL: Mwahahaha. You are now stuck in the middle of the Sahara without food or water, and surrounded by cobras. What do you think? ready to DIE? Heehee. Hehe. Haha. HAHA. HAHAHA. BWAHAHA. MWAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!
(While all of this is happening, nobody notices as DonZabu summons a stampede of bulldozers, Warcraft felhounds, and headcrabs. They are all sent in a giant wave at all the other combatents. But before they come into contact with them, he turns the ground below them into a giant pool of boling french fry batter, which would not only hurt the combatents but also drive the stampede even crazier. He safely flies into the air before all of this happens.)
DONZABU: (Once all of that is done.) Welcome to the jungle.
{Znex disappears and reappears right next to DonZabu, whom he immediately punches right into the stampede.}
IM A BELL:{another clone} Deep-fried Bell? {breaks off the bell calamari, eats}
{Stinkoman appears.}
STINKOMAN: Waagh! Are you like some kind of cannibal? {runs away}
(DonZabu flies out of the pool of chaos and stampede and turns all of the solution into solid plastic, encasing everything inside it.)
{Znex, who is still hovering over the pool of plastic, turns DonZabu into a plastic action figure. Cut to the shops where Znex is walking along holding the action figure. He walks up to a shopkeeper.}
ZNEX: Excuse me, would you mind selling this? You don't need to pay anything.
{Znex gives the shopkeeper the action figure and walks off.}
(The plastic on DonZabu melts away like butter, and he returns to the battleground.)
DONZABU: I'm through playing around.
(Zoom in on his watch. There is a button labled IMPROBABILITY DRIVE. He presses it. All the plastic turns back into water that catches on fire and falls upward, while bolts of lightning 20,000,000 miles long begin shooting out of the nearby mountain. All the dust and dirt turns into lye, gravity goes into overdrive, the ozone layer becomes so thick that nuclear winter happens in 3 seconds, and the starship Enterprise crashes into the giant fight. It begins raining Canadian money coated in dry ice, giant volcanoes of Diet Coke and Mentos begin to errupt, Fred Durst becomes a talented musician, and George Bush becomes a competent president. While all of this is happening, a giant rip in the space-time continueum appears, opening a portal to the afterlife. An endless stream of dead Uncle Daves pour out to exact their revenge on the world.)
DONZABU: (Watching all of the Uncle Daves.) What have I done?
SEPHIROTH: And, that, my friends, is the biggest mistake of all. Ignoring someone, who was preparing an attack to kill you. {Throws a Black Blast, which destroys everything around the fighters, creating a Mushroom Cloud. The Battlefield is now a weird purple universe, with Red, yellow, green, and many other color jellybeans floating around.} My universe. The perfect battlefield.
IM A BELL: I'll stay in my own universe, thank you. {plays a chord on the guitar. the area around bell (just a 3 foot radius) turns into subspace. the area intersecting Seph's universe and Bell's seems to be melding with eachother} Oh, and, watch what will happen if you try to get through the universal divide! {takes a jellybean, tosses it towards himself}
{the jellybean stretches as if being sucked into a black hole, is being torn in a few places, catches fire, then finally explodes. The burnt remnants of the jellybean are sucked towards the divide, stretch around the entire portal, disintegrate, and then finally disappear}
IM A BELL: Mwahaha.
SEPHIROTH: Ekk. Ekky Ekky Ptang Ptang! {The battlefield becomes a green planet.}
IM A BELL: Well, where are we now?
SEPHIROTH: Earth. {Zoom out to show they are shrunken.} I shrunk us.
VOICE: {hums}
{A giant human, well not really giant because the combatants are shrunken, walks along, making small tremors as he goes.}
{Znex appears.}
ZNEX: Hey, it's Earth! Nah, I've got a better battleground idea: PLANET K!
{Znex puts his hands together and a popping sound happens, and the battleground now looks like Planet K, and the combatants are full size again.}
ZNEX: {grins}
DONZABU: BEHOLD! A hailstorm of pudding!
(Giant globules of pudding begin raining on everyone.)
{Stinkoman walks over.}
STINKOMAN: Hey, it's pudding from the skies! But I don't feel like pudding today. {walks off}
{A modern Englishman walks over.}
LORD MARSHMELLINGTON: Liquid pudding? That will simply not do.
{Marshmellington clicks his fingers and the globules of pudding turn into Christmas puddings.}
DONZABU: Wait a second! (Teleports right next to Stinkoman.) The real Stinkoman would never turn down pudding of this quantity. This is a robotic double! (Psychokinetically hacks the robot and turns it over to his control.)
STINKOMAN ROBOT: KILL! KILL! KILL! (Runs over to the fight and picks off the weaker fighters first, powering up for the stronger ones.)
IM A BELL: Let's see... There goes Userunknown... Znex... Sephiroth... Now me.
{the Stinkoman robot runs toward Bell, the same thing that happened to the jelly bean happens to it}
DONZABU: (Throws Meatwad onto Im a Bell without interuption. Meatwad's juices burn Im a Bell like lye.)
MEATWAD: (As he's being thrown.) Hey Bell.
{OOC: What do you mean that Stinkoman would never turn down pudding of that quantity? There was only one cartoon that showed that he had any like to it. It doesn't mean he'd eat it all the time. -Znex}
SEPHIROTH: {Headbutts into Donzbu, and throws him to the ground, throwing rocks at him.} DIE!!!
{Znex let flies a giant blast that slams into both Sephiroth and DonZabu, and sets them flying into the horizon.}
IM A BELL: Oh look. Burger. {eats meatwad} Say, how'd you know live meatballs could pass through the subspace border?
{A Rope with a claw on it comes from the horizon, and throws Znex down to the ground. Sephiroth comes flying, and he lands on Znex.}
DONZABU: (Flying back faster than the speed of light.) ELEGANT SPINNING DESTINY! FOR REAL THIS TIME! (Without even knowing what happened, everyone except DonZabu becomes reduced to atomic dust that blows away in a giant fan that DonZabu materializes.)
{another portal to subspace rips open}
IM A BELL:{walks towards opening from inside portal} Hahaha-fail. {Turns into Demon Bell} NOW! WITNESS MY DEMON'S TRUE FORM!!! {head and lower half of body turns into shadows} SUBSPACE BELL!!!!! {summonms a shadowy zanpaku-to with a flaming blade} Hrmph. {stabs DonZabu in the heart, pulls sword out} Hehehe.
{Znex walks over, right out of nowhere, and turns DonZabu into Don Bradman(if you've never heard of him, then look on Wikipedia >_<). He then turns Im a bell into an actual bell.}
SEPHIROTH: You forgot me Znex. {Turns Znex into A Version of himself, played by Tom Cruise (OOC: THE ULTIMATE PUNISHMENT!!! >:D}
{Znex somehow turns back into his normal self, and then makes Sephiroth do the hokey pokey a million times. Then he shoots him with a giant blast that sends him sailing off back to Sharoth.}
ZNEX: Hmmms...
IM A BELL:{reverts to normal} Aargh. Hmm... BLING! {Bling pops out of nowhere, transforms into Professional Patch, then Sugoi Patchi, Bell into Ll e bami, they fuse into Watashi wa Patchi, transform into Semi-Pure Watashi, then Almost-Pure Watashi} Mwahaha!!! It is nearly time-AAAGH! {reverts to normal, Bling flies off} Uhhhh... D-Darn it! Augh! AAAAAAAAAAUGGGGHHH!!!!!! {transforms into Pure Watashi, but with red eyes, pitch-black legs, and Demon Bell's arms} Hahahaha. This is my FINAL destined form, <naming contest! Suggest on my talk!>!!!
{Znex kicks Im a bell and Im a bell falls unconscious. Znex then flies away, until he falls, and he has red cheeks, a wide smile, and his eyes closed in a happy manner. He is singing old songs. It is revealed that Sephiroth is shooting him with a laser. After a while, another Znex walks over and blasts the other Znex.}
ZNEX: Hmmm, the robot Znex must have malfunctioned. Oh well.
{Znex grabs the laser, crumples it up in his bare fist, then flings it away. Znex then kicks Sephiroth back into Sharoth, where he lives a happy life. =D}
{OOC: By the way, checked out my new fanstuff, Homestar Runner & Friends? =D It can also be found here. =D}
{Sephiroth falls down, flat on his face, and a giant Tay Zonday comes up.}
TAY ZONDAY: YOU HAVE AWAKENED ME FROM MY SLEEP! NOW FEEL SOME CHOCOLATE RAIN!!! {Starts singing Chocolate Rain. The "I move away from the microphone to breathe" Message comes up, and knocks everyone into the skies.}
{Suddenly, the Star Wars Kid comes, and starts to whack Tay. May other internet stars follow.}
IM A BELL:{wakes up, reverts to <name contest!>} Um... {fires a blast of subspace at the Star Wars Kid and Tay Zonday, purifying and destroying them}
{Chaos appears with a giant Buster sword and slices bell right down the middle.}
CHAOS: Did I really need to do that?
{Tay Zonday and the Star Wars Kid Come back.}
TAY ZONDAY: CHOCOLATE RAIN!!!
<CONTEST>:{regenerates} No. No you didn't. {puts a subspatial shield around the fighters, goes supernova, turning the field into subspace and destroying tSWK and Tay, removes all shields} Welcome to Subspace. The population is... Erm... One, two, three, four, five... Six. The population of Subspace is currently six. {notices Tabuu} Er, seven.
{Tay and SWK come back.}
TAY ZONDAY: We are immortal. We didn't do anything to you. {Both SWK and Tay Zonday both gang up on <Name Contest> and start beating him up.
<NAME CONTEST>: You guys are n00bs. {banishes Tay and tSWK to The YouTube Poop Prison}
{OOC: Hmm... I wonder if I should make this form's name "<Name Contest>"...}
DONZABU: (Turns Chaos into Justin Timberlake, Znex into Shaquille O'Neal, Sephiroth into Shaggy 2 Dope, and Im a Bell into Fred Durst. He then puts on sound-proof wax earplugs before materializing giant indestructable surround-sound speakers to encase the fight-scene, and forces the four to rap a trio. The sound comes out of all the speakers full-blast and everyone except DonZabu hears it.)
{The Real Sephiroth comes in.}
SEPHIROTH: Oho noes! You turned my clone into a rapper!! ...... {Turns DonZabu into ...... CHRIS CROCKER!!!}
{a Bell clone walks in}
IM A BELL: Aagh. Rap. {obliterates the rappers, even the ones without seperate forms present}
{Another Znex walks in.}
ZNEX: Darn, missed the bit where we blast all of them. Oh well. {walks off}
DONZABU: (Physically sends everyone into the Internet, trapping them all inside of popups and shock sites.)
SEPHIROTH: {Sneaks out, then Teleports Donzabu to 2G1C, and locks it so he can't get out.}
CHAOS: Hey, guys! I can see you on this computer! You're like tiny buttons. Awww.
{Chaos picks up DonZabu with the mouse and drags him around.}
SEPHIROTH: {Transports Chaos to 7Chan.}
DONZABU: (Releasing himself from the mouse's grip, he sends everyone else to 4chan, and goes off to become king on Newgrounds. He takes control of every famous Newgrounds character and sends them into 4chan. Spearheading the campaign is DonZabu controlling the Madness Combat protagonist, who mows down legions of Anonymous while P and A-bot locate the other combatents, so that Pico can mow them down as well.)
{returns to chaos controlling the computer.}
CHAOS: This game is fun.
DONZABU: (Slices Chaos's moniter in half, releasing himself from the computer as he proceeds to skewer Chaos onto the end of a stationary car. He still looks like Hank J. Wimbleton.)
CHAOS: OK. What was that supposed to do?
DONZABU: Something like this. (A giant marshmallow falls next to Chaos. DonZabu skewers him onto it with a stopsign.)
{the computer reforms itself. cut back to inside the computer}
IM A BELL: {wakes up} Huh? Wha? {unleashes armies of Anonymous to hold everyone down} GRRRR... {eyes glow red, a red aura surrounds him. the aura grows bigger and thicker, until bell is invisible and all you can see is a fireball. the fireball shapeshifts into what seems to be a human-sized sun. The sun grows larger and redder. Eye-shaped sunspots appear on the sun. they get angrier, and then seem to close themselves. The sun's energy expands, revealing very injured Bell. Bell wakes up, screams, and the sun collapses upon itself. Everything is quiet for five seconds. Then, the sun goes supernova, destroying everything around it. cut to Chaos and DonZabu. The screen breaks, releasing the supernova, destroying everything around the computer. When the supernova energy dissipates, everyone fighting is severely injured, Bell more so. Bell steps forward, and keels over}
(DonZabu emerges from the smoldering ashes that was once Planet K, wearing a totally cool black labcoat, glowing orange goggles, and a breath mask. On his chest is a glowing blue diamond, and in both his hands he's carrying tonfa-hilted lightsabers.)
DONZABU: Ahh, the wonders of the energy absorber. I needed that extra charge. Now, to buisness.
(DonZabu hacks into the universe's code, reducing all of the other combatent's extra lives from ∞ to 1. Then he resets the year 40X9 to 0, reseting the space-time continuum and sending everyone back to ancient Israel, when Jesus lived.)
DONZABU: Let the games begin.
ZNEX: Nah, let's do it more like this!
{Znex presses a few buttons on his cuff and transports everyone to 30AD, in the same place.}
ZNEX: Now Jesus will actually be all growed-up!
SEPHIROTH: Whoa!
{Two Roman legionaries march past.}
DONZABU: (Turns invisible, and whispers into the other's ears.) Just think about where you are, or rather, when you are.
(Roman Legionaries see DonZabu turning invisible and approach the others.)
ROMAN LEGIONARY #1: (Latin) Where did he go?
IM A BELL:{the Bell corpse explodes, leaving behind a completely healed Bell.} {whispering} Thank God for the Babel fish. Too bad I don't know Latin. Hmm... {normal, R'lyehian} Can you speak R'lyehian?
ROMAN LEGIONARY #2:{also R'lyehian} Yes, yes we can.
IM A BELL: Hmm. So, I expect you serve under Cthulhu?
ROMAN LEGIONARY #1:{R'lyehian} Yes.
IM A BELL: Very good. Then I must show you something. {removes bell}
ROMAN LEGIONARIES:{R'lyehian} GREAT CTHULHU! {they all bow to Bell}
IM A BELL: Oh, and, Chaos? I expect you to reveal your brother, but, we both know that's not the first Cthulhu. The TRUE Cthulhu is long dead, and his soul was transferred into both your brother's body during his birth, and into mine when I became this monstrosity.
(The two guards are skewered on two lightsabers. DonZabu suddenly appears, floating in the air.)
DONZABU: I've got big plans, and I don't intend for some radicals to scew things up. But perhaps I have a use for you. Would you like to leave the Cthulu body, Bell?
{Cut to where a Roman centurion is writing on a papyrus scroll.}
ROMAN CENTURION: {voiceover} Day 7 of Janus' month. Yesterday, some of my troops discovered the two bodies of legionaries upon the ground.
{Cut back to the place where everyone was before but only the corpses of the legionaries remain. A few legionaries are looking at the corpses.}
ROMAN CENTURION: {voiceover} We looked for signs, but nothing except a hole in the chest made by something we do not know about.
{Cut back to the present.}
ZNEX: Why are we talking about some beast?
{Homestar tiger walks through stupidly}
{A few Jews notice the group and look over. A few more Jews are looking over. Eventually, a whole crowd of Jews are watching.}
IM A BELL: Nah. I like my Cthulhu-ness.
DONZABU: Well, I hope you can enjoy it while you last. (Invisible.)
ZNEX: Uh, guys? A whole lot of people are watching us. Just as well they can't understand us.
IM A BELL:{gets out a box labeled "Babelfish Sushi", hands Znex a piece, eats another} Eat this, Znex. With it, you can speak any language that isn't dead just by thinking about it.
ZNEX: Erm, isn't Ancient Greek a dead language?
(DonZabu secretly hacks the universe again and adds the following code:)
*.EVERYLANGUAGE=1
HOMESTAR TIGER: {Writes The Idiot's Keeper}
ZNEX: Erm...LET'S GO TO AN ALIEN PLANET THAT NO ONE CARES ABOUT!
{Everyone disappears and reappear on a very alien looking planet. There are no organisms(except for plants) around but for them.}
ZNEX: Let's fight!
{Znex forms a shield around himself.}
DONZABU: ERASER TOOL! (A Photoshop eraser erases Znex's shield, followed by Znex.)
{Everything warps into a greek city, with pictures of Sephiroth everywhere, Including a temple of Sephiroth.}
CITIZEN: SEPHIROTH IS OUR HERO AAND GOD!!
((An army of Romans come and capture the city, bearing an emblem that greatly resembles DonZabu's own.))
ROMAN ARMY: FOR RAYZATH!
DONZABU: (To the others.) That's me.
{yet ANOTHER army in golden armor with a green squid-like insignia on it charges in}
IM A BELL: ...Do I NEED to say it?
{Znex reappears and ANOTHER army with sleek black futuristic armour and purple helms march in, bearing a black banner with a purple hourglass on it.}
FUTURISTIC ARMY: FOR THE ETERNAL EMPIRE!
{A Large Metal Block falls on everyone, and Sephiroth's city comes back.}
{all the armies rush back in}
BELL'S ARMY: FOR CTHULHU THE GOLD! {run over a statue of Sephiroth, invoking the Greek army to charge out}
FUTURISTIC ARMY: FOR THE ETERNAL EMPIRE! {take out blasters and starts shooting the other armies}
{Ryan flies in on a plane}
RYAN: Bladeeblahdeeblah... {CRASH!}
(Roman army reamerges as Combine soldiers backed up by Antlions. They have Half-Life crossbows that fire at the rate of machine guns, and nothing that hits them hurts them.)
DONZABU: I love being a master hacker.
BELL'S ARMY: CTHULHU FHTAGN!!!!!! {charges at Znex's army}
{Ryan throws a Zeeky Bomb at Znex's army}
SEPHIROTH: Zeeky, Doogy, Boog. {Zeeky Explodes, destroying the armies, and knocking everyone offscreen. Everything is blank. He snaps his fingers, to create the Well map from TF2, changes his class to engineer, creates lots of turrets around the map, and changes class to Sniper, in which he goes to the higest platform, and headshots anyone who comes in.}
ME: {comes out of nowhere} Hello everyone. {sees the fighting} What is this, bttle for the last cookie? Because I already sorta ate it. But you can't kill me! {makes 7 clones of himself}
CLONES: Or {makes a thousand clones} us!
CHAOS: Or {Destroys all of the clones with a rocket launcher} that! And NO, WE DON'T WANT A STUPID COOKIE!
ME AND CLONES: {makes more clones} No one but us fires bazookas! {fires burning, thermite filled, heat seeking rockets at Chaos}
CHAOS: Really? {Chaos dispels all of the missiles.}
ME: Wha- oh, ummmm. {takes out Battle Royale book, flipping pages} Ummm, not participants, not transcript, there we are, rules. No trolling. Trolling is like spamming,not that, or canceling someone's attack. {looks at Chaos, then back at book, throws it away} Oh whatever. Last time I checked, I was wrong about the rules. What ever. { starts walking away}
{All of the turrets beep, and shoot Me. Sephiroth watches.}
SEPHIROTH: Whoa. {Changes Class to Medic, and starts to Heal Chaos, to get Ubercharge.}
ME: {Me transforms into a monster who is a number 1000 digits long times his normal size} Bye Chaos. {punches Chaos}
{Chaos returns to his normal position after that attack.}
CHAOS: That didn't phase me.
{Chaos changes his class to Berserker and slashes the monster in half. It turns back into Me, and Chaos runs off still a berserker.}
RYAN: WHEE! {Ryan chugs a soda and belches really loud}
{As everyone is focused on each other, Lex appears from the horizon, dressed in a miltary uniform and holding bagpipes under his arm. As he marches on, he begins to play the bagpipes. From the skies come an army of celtic ghost warriors, who proceed to slaughter every contestant in this battle. As Lex carries on playing, the celtic ghost warriors carry on with their amazing onslaught. Elsewhere, Raiku dies after tripping over a rock, as footsteps can be heard on the battlefield. Sirrus and Ventin are running through the field, casting spells using the blood of the fallen.}
VENTIN: You know what's a great instrument, brother? Bagpipes.
