The World's Greatest/38

yeah, Max is back but this time with some restraint

Transcript

{Open to the two and a trans-atlantic Falcon}

QUINT: Right Vince?

VINCE: Aight. I've juss bin up ta dem united states int I?

QUINT: Really? Shame that's nowhere near Maine.

VINCE: really? Are you lookin' to go to maine, cos I got dis man who is constantly flying between maine and dis exact spot!

HENRY: Do tell more!

VINCE: His name is Mr David Cock, and he is made enti'ly out of kfc chicken skin.

{enter David Cock}

DAVID COCK: 'ELLO YOU WANKAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAS.

HENRY: well this is just absurd

QUINT: And this man is very impolite!

DAVID COCK: DID YOU JUST CALL ME A TURD? FUCK YOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUU

{Enter David's Mum}

DAVID'S MUM: Davie? Are you playing your computer games again?

DAVID COCK: Oh, for god's sake mother, will you be polite enough not to interupt when I am having a good old waffle with these lovely gentleman. AND IT AIN'T CALLED A COMPUTA GAME COS IT AIN'T ON A COMPUTER YOU NOB'EEEEEEED.

DAVID'S MUM: Come on, stop faffing about, church is in ten minutes! And it's not saturday, so no excuses!

DAVID COCK: OKALLY DOKALLY FUCKIN' DOO. BYE BYE YOU NOB CLAMS!

{David leaves}

QUINT: I remember when we used to have some part in these episodes.

MAX: FUCK YOU, QUINT, GO BACK TO AUSTRALIA

QUINT: I have you know I was not Melbourne in Australia, and that is a Great Barrier Relief!

MAX: You disgust me.

MR KEE: You also disgust me, and my good friend Sister 3.

HENRY: I would like to take a moment to point out we're yet to have a short pause in this episode. IF YOU COULD START THE FANS PLEASE.

{A cat with remarkably short paws enters}

CAT: Will I do?

MAX:no....NOOOO....NOOOOOO

{Max flips over the table}

MAX: MY PANTS!

DANIEL BRYAN: YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES!

BEN: Get out of here, Daniel Bryan, I'm gonna lose all my Mindy- I mean nerd cred with the cool kids here at the Wiki User Wiki!

SHEAMUS: BRYAN! It's time for a rematch, bitch.

{Sheamus knocks out Daniel bryan in 6 seconds. And yet Daniel Bryan ascends to a higher plaine of existance, and speaks his divine words upon Quint, Henry, Max, Ben, Vince, Sheamus and David's Mum who you'll notice forgot to leave}

DANIEL BRYAN: I forgive, you Sheamus. I must go now. My planet needs me. {Ascending} YES! YES! YES! YES! YES!

{Note: Daniel Bryan died on the way back to his home planet - Planet Funk}

THIS KID: Kindness can grow, so plant a seed. Happy Earth Day. Disney loves you.

{the kid plants a seed in the garden from episode 30 and is swallowed by trees}

MAX: (crying) I'm gonna miss you, this kid.

QUINT: Shuckeh Duckeh quack quack!

MAX: Man Quint, you sure are lively today. Maybe you should stop drinking all those coffee-flavoured soups.

QUINT: didn't you hate me like six lines ago or what

MAX: I'M SCHIZOPHRENIC YOU UDDER RAM!

{Hospital people come in and put max in a straight jacket, then onto one of this hannibal lecter trollies, then fire him into the sun}

MAX: Well, what a nasty fellow.

HENRY: I haven't spoken in ages.

EXPOSITION FAIRY: That's because of Old Man Randall's Helicopter speaky Tax, whenever you are within 4 feet of Randy, you can not open your trap.

HENRY: Damn that Old Man Randall. We should cut him open and sell his body for spare parts.

{The universe collapses in on itself. But then, from the apparently eternal darkness, a voice can be heard.}

MYSTERIOUS VOICE: Don't worry, I shall save the universe, for I am the almighty.I. Am MARCIA WALLAAAAAAAAAAAACE!!!!!!!!!!!!

{Marcia Wallace reconstructs the universe to exactly the way it was before in a matter of minutes. Henry is a sleep, and Quint wanders out from one of his doors, with a nightcap on and a mug of tea in his hand.}

QUINT: Morning, Henry, I got you a mug of tea!

HENRY: But you know I'm allergic to all hot beverages except for hot ribena!

QUINT: Oh, sorry, friend. What do you want for brekkie?

HENRY: I'll have 3 almond fruit cakes and the latest copy of 'gigantic asses'

QUINT: Sure thing.

{Short pause. And by that, I mean, Short Paws, the cat from earlier on tip-toes in}

CAT: I think i might leave now. There are still quite a few people in here from earlier that forgot to leave and it's getting a bit cramped.

QUINT: Oh, that's fair enou-

{Sheamus goes out of the way to crush the cat beneath his feet}

SHEAMUS: I FEAST ON THE BLOOD OF CRUSHED ANIMALS!

{Sheamus attacks Quint}

QUINT: Egad, my eyes!

MR KEE: I'll save you!

{Mr. Kee attempts to save Quint but instead just runs off of Henry, plummeting to the depths below}

DAVID'S MUM: Don't worry quint, I'll throw you my ghost-like human trapper, it traps humans that are very pale.

BEN: oh shi-

{Ben is sucked into the trapper FOREVER}

HENRY: Oh my god, look at Quint!

{Everyone looks at Quint, who now has a molerat instead of a face}

MAX: Good, good...my plan is working!

HENRY: What plan?

MAX: With Ben gone, I am now the only author of the show! I have free range to do whatever I want!

{Max turns the ocean into soup, whilst laughing evilly}

JACK: I don't think so, bitch!

MAX: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!? THIS ISN'T POSSIBLE! TURN HIM INTO GRAPES, ANYTHING!

{Max tries to turn Jack into something, but he appears immune}

JACK: I DON'T CARE! what you do to me, just DEEEEELLLLL MEEEEEEEEE what you plan to do with this internet writing story thing!

MAX: I dunno, probably just make it stupid. Stupider than it already, is, I mean.

JACK: Oh, really? Wow, that sounds good. I propose we join forces and destroy this bitch together.

{Max and Jack combine into one to form a being called Max and Jack. Immediatley they begin turning things into gazelles and leaves. However, just as things, begin getting bad, Daniel Bryan descends once again from the heavens}

DANIEL BRYAN: STOP! I can not let you do this.

{Daniel Bryan applies the YES! lock on Max and Jack}

MAX AND JACK: Your yes lock can't hold us Bryan, we're the greatest, most powerful being in the universe, and you're just a boring old god.

DANEIL BRYAN: Oh, really? WELL TRY THIS ON FOR SIZE! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES!

MAX AND JACK: GAH! MY RIBS, MY PRECIOUS, PRECIOUS RIBS!

{Max and Jack are destroyed in a blinding, brilliant light, and all that was good with the world is restored}

HENRY: Well that was fun, I guess.

QUINT: Yeah, I suppose.

{All of the characters who appeared slowly dissolve in, then bow, as a red curtain closes the show. End.}