(even if you aren't vegan)
WRASSLE KIDS/1
{Cut: The front of a brick school, at the asphalt playground. Two boys are standing, one named Tucker, with a squat, vaguely pear shaped head with a short mohawk, a sleeveless, black "JOHN CENA" shirt, red athletic shorts and a phony bling necklace around his neck, and a portly boy named Jimbob, wearing a mesh trucker cap embroidered with the words "AMERICAN PRIDE" accompanied with an embroidered eagle shedding a single tear, a dinghy white "AMERICAN PRIDE" t-shirt, and the ever dreaded jorts(jean shorts). Both boys seem to be arguing with each other.}
TUCKER: MY DOG IS BETTER THAN YOUR DOG! MY DOG'S HALF WOLF!
JIMBOB: Oh yeah? My dog's half lion!
TUCKER: LIONS ARE FELINE, RETARD
JIMBOB: shut up my dad could beat your dog's ass
TUCKER: MY DAD COULD BEAT YOUR DAD!
JIMBOB: No, my dad could beat your dad!
TUCKER: John Cena could beat YOUR DAD!
JIMBOB: TRIPLE H COULD BEAT JOHN CENA!
TUCKER: WANNA FIGHT?
{Tucker is red faced from the exertion of yelling.}
JIMBOB: no not really
{A taller, probably older kid walks by, his head out of camera's view. He gives Tucker a quick shove to the chest, knocking him over. After a couple moments, he gets to his feet, his face redder than a beet.}
TUCKER: Oh no, HE'S DONE IT NOW!
{TUCKER pauses his rant to pant angrily. Sweat beads his brow.}
TUCKER: LEMME FUEL UP, AND I'LL LAY THE SMACKDOWN!
{Tucker produces a 2 liter bottle of Mountain Dew from his backpack, unscrews the cap, tips his head up and starts chugging, pausing often to noisily breathe from his nose. In about a minute, the bottle is empty. He stuffs the empty container back into his backpack.}
TUCKER: Okay, watch this! I'll PILEDRIVE that jerk! ARG!
{Tucker charges the kid that pushed him. On his way, he pukes out a large volume of the Mountain Dew he drank earlier, and falls over.}
JIMBOB: I TOLD YOU NOT TO DRINK THAT MUCH!
TUCKER: NO YOU DIDN'T!
{Jimbob sits down and plays his game boy.}