Badstar can riff too/GDDTV/1

About

Pete and Dan go on an epic adventure to get some lunch.

Cast: Dan, Pete, Bubs, Homsar, Paco the Taco, Alfonzo

Places: Dan's Apartment, Bubs Concession Stand, The Field

Date: January 2nd, 2009

Transcript

{Fade in to Dan on the couch watching TV. Pete comes in in his Call of Duty 4 pajamas, just waking up}

BADSTAR: Call of Duty 4 pajamas? Oh, Soccer Moms are gonna have a field day blaming the media for that one!

DAN: Hey Pete!

PETE: Food... {He walks sluggishly to the refridgerator}

DAN: Alrighty then...

IM A BELL:{terrible Jim Carrey impersonation} La-HOOO-sers!

BADSTAR: {Small, weak voice} I'll just cry myself to sleep now since people don't care about me... *hint hint*

PETE: Unggghhh...

IM A BELL: Braaaaains...

{He opens the door to the fridge, looks inside for a few seconds, then closes the door and turns to Dan} Get dressed. We're getting tacos.

BADSTAR: {Sing-songy voice} Flatulence in the morning!

DAN: What?! Dude, you were just a zombie! Now you want food?

PETE: I'm hungry, Peterson! I need food!

DAN: Alright, alright. Get dressed and I'll go get th-

BADSTAR: TO DA CHOPPER!

PETE: I am dressed. Let's go. I'm driving.

DAN: You're in your Duty pants! {pauses} ...heh heh...duty...

IM A BELL:{terrible Beavis impression} H'hehe-m-hehehe. Duty. H'hehe.

PETE: I'm fine. Let's go. I'm driving.

DAN: What?! You can't drive! Listen I have a permit, so we'll go get Homestar. He's old enough to drive, right?

BADSTAR: No! Don't drag Homestar into this! Please, I'm begging you!

PETE: I can drive just fine. MOVE YOUR LAZY BUTT! {He darts for the door}

DAN: Okay! Okay! {Follows Pete out}

BADSTAR: Okay! Okay! Okay! Okay! Okay! Okay! Okay! Okay! Okay! Okay!

{Cut to Bubs Concession Stand. Pete and Dan drive up in Strong Intelligent's car}

BADSTAR: {Singing} I like... where we are... when we drive... in your car!

DAN: {Getting out} Woah! When you're hungry, you drive like a psycho!

PETE: I WANT TACOS, DAMN IT! {He angrily walks up to the counter}

BUBS: Hey, Pete! What can I do you for?

PETE: {grabs Bubs by the throat} I. NEED. TACOS.

BADSTAR: Wait, a throat? ...Does Bubs even have one of those!?

BUBS: Oh...well first can you let go?

DAN: Pete! {pulls Pete off} Sorry, Bubs. He gets like this when he's-

BADSTAR: Low on his "happy pills".

hungry.

BUBS: Crap, man!

BADSTAR AND BELL: {Both singing, bopping their heads from side to side} Na na na na na na na, na na na na na na na, CRAPMAN!

Well lemme see what I got in here... {He ducks behind the counter and is ruffling through boxes. He get up after a while and hands Pete a shoe}

PETE: What. Is. This?

BUBS: All I got left in the "Taco/ Imported Sneaker" box.

BADSTAR: So wait, how do those two go together? Do the tacos come in the sneaker when Bubs gets them? I'd say a health inspector would've shut him down by now, but why do you think he has a shotgun?

DAN: Who bought the last package of tacos?

BUBS: As the manager of this establishment, it would go against Bubs Concession Stand policy to reveal the name of the previous buyers of merchandise in order to protect- {Pete throws the shoe at his head} It was Homsar.

PETE: Crap. Let's go. {Gets in the car and starts it}

DAN: Wait! Sorry again Bubs. Pete! {Runs to the car and gets in}

{Cut to The Field. Pete and Dan pull up and get out}

PETE: Where does Homsar live anyway?

DAN: I dunno. Hey what's this boot doing here? Did I go fishing?

BADSTAR: HAHAHAHAHA THAT IS TOTALLY FUNNY EVEN THOUGH IT WAS ALREADY USED IN FUTURAMA. HAHAHAHAHAHA.

{There is a random boot on the ground in front of Dan. He picks it up and rubs the dirt off of it. It begins to shake and then explodes in his hands}

PETE: Dan! Stop messing around with footwear and let's find Homsar!

{As the smoke clears, Homsar is floating next to Dan}

HOMSAR: You that have collected the seven magic shooooooooooooooooooes... For this I will grant you one wish...

BADSTAR: I wish that this was decent!

PETE: TACOS.

HOMSAR: I wish I wish I was a fiiiiish...

{Homsar explodes, and tacos rain down from the sky. The boot reappears and floats into the sky, splits into seven shoes,

IM A BELL: Obviously, because boots are made from recycled shoes.

and scatters in different directions}

PETE: SWEET!! I finally got my tacos! {He picks up a taco}

TACO: Wait! Don't eat me!

PETE: {screams} OH MY GOD! A TALKING TACO!

IM A BELL: JESUS CHRIST IT'S A TACO GET IN THE CAR! >:3

TACO: I'm Paco the Taco. Nice to meet you!

DAN: Maybe it's the blow to my head due to a boot,

IM A BELL: What blow to the head?

but that taco is talking.

PACO: Nope. I'm really real. Just please don't eat me! I want to be friends.

PETE: Alright, fair enough, but I'm freaking hungry. {He puts Paco down and starts eating other tacos}

DAN: It won't offend you to eat some of these, will it?

PACO: Nah. None of them talk. They're boring.

DAN: Sweet! {Starts eating tacos}

{Cut to outside Dan's apartment building, Pete drives up. Dan, Pete, and Paco get out}

DAN: So, Paco... There's room in my place. You wanna live here?

PACO: That would be great! Sure!

PETE: Sweet. Let's go upstairs. Time for me to sleep.

PACO: But it's 1:07 pm!

PETE: Yeah, but I don't normally wake up till 2, so I need more sleep.

DAN: There's no use fighting it, Paco. It's been that way for 2 years.

{They open the front door and go in. Cut to Dan's Apartment. The trio walk in the front door. Alfonzo

IM A BELL: Who?

is in the kitchen area}

ALFONZO: Hey guys. Did you bring me a taco? I'm starved!

DAN: No! This is Paco. He is NOT FOR EATING!

ALFONZO: Now, Dan. What did I tell you about naming and personifying inanimate objects?

DAN: Listen. Tommy the Tomato was the nicest tomato I've ever talked to.

PACO: Oh please. Everybody knows that tomatos can't talk.

ALFONZO: Oh my God. You talked!

PACO: Yes I do that sometimes.

ALFONZO: Not gonna lie, that's pretty sweet.

DAN: Well, Paco. You can bunk in my room.

PACO: Sweet! I'll go make myself a little place to stay.

{Paco walks into Dan's room}

DAN: Well this was an interesting day! A new charcter in our toons! And it only took until 2009!

{"The End, Fools!" appears on the screen}

Easter Eggs

• Click "End":

{Cut to The Field. Homsar is floating there above the boot}

HOMSAR: Now that the wish has been maaaaaaaaade, the Earth will sooooooooon explooooode...

{Slow close-up on Homsar's mindless expression with dramatic music}

{Cut back to the end of the toon}

Fun Facts

IM A BELL: How can anything about this be "fun"?

• Pete really does sleep till unnatural hours.
• Homsar's role in this toon was a parody of the DragonBall Z series. When the shoes scattered, it was like the DragonBalls scattering after the wish.
• "NOT FOR EATING" is from Bonus Stage Episode 31.
• Paco the Taco was actually the title of a song I was writing. No. Seriously. I'm not kidding.
• All Homestar Runner charcters are copyright to the Brothers Chaps.
• Strong Intelligent is copyright to himself.
• The title of the toon is a parody of the Bowling For Soup album "The Great Burito Extortion Case."