(even if you aren't vegan)
Kirbychu's Summer Resort/Hotel/Room 407
Contents
Transcript
Day 1
INSANITYDEMON: This looks like a nice place.
{InsanityDemon knocks over the box of his stuff, and all his belongings put themselves in the right places. InsanityDemon sits down at his laptop. Text appears saying, "Unwired broadband. Too easy." The text then disappears after a few seconds. Cut to show InsanityDemon checking his email and his feeds.}
ALBINO: {walks in, doesnt notice InsanityDemon. he walks to the corner, and begins to put something up} Plant the bomb in order to- {hears typing, turns around, see's InsanityDemon staring at him.} {nervously} Hi?
{The Cheat lowers down from the ceiling through the air vents, grabs Albino, and goes back up.}
INSANITYDEMON: I'd better see what they're doing.
{InsanityDemon types some commands in very quickly. When he presses enter, an overhead cross-section of the hotel's air vents shows up on the screen. Albino and The Cheat can be seen as two red dots right next to each other, beeping every three seconds.}
INSANITYDEMON: Looks like they're headed for the hotel basement. I'd better stop them before they do anything to the wireless Internet.
{InsanityDemon types in some more commands and presses Enter again. The map of the air vents turns red, capitalised text appears on the screen reading "FLOODING AIR CHAMBERS", and the sound of an alarm comes from the laptop. Cut to the air vents, where The Cheat is surprised to see lots of water rushing towards him, as if a dam were broken inside the vents. The water catches him and Albino and forces them back into Room 407.}
INSANITYDEMON: OK, The Cheat. What's going on?
ALBINO: I dont know! I was just told to put a digital clock in the airvents!
THE CHEAT: {in The Cheat noises}(I was going to fix the wireless router in the basement, but I needed Albino's help. The clock was just so we could know what time it is so we could do it before Kirbychu did his daily maintenance check.)
INSANITYDEMON: That's right, it's broken. {pause} Then how did I manage to flood the air vents?
THE CHEAT AND ALBINO: {in unisen, the cheat making the cheat noises} Well... {sprint off}
{InsanityDemon types even more commands and the same thing happens again, except this time he floods the halls. When they come back in, InsanityDemon locks all the doors and windows and any other ways out.}
INSANITYDEMON: {angry} Tell me what's going on!
THE CHEAT: (You can still connect to the internet, the wires connecting to the main computer were falty, so I went to go fix them before Kirbychu fount out that they had broken. We ran off so you wouldn't tell Kirbychu...)
INSANITYDEMON: You know how good I am with secrets, don't you?
ALBINO: I don't, And I don't plan to!
{Kirbychu HR'D walks in. He's soaking wet.}
KIRBYCHU HR'D: SOMEONE made the halls and air vents flood while I was trying to fix the wires on the internet router in the basement! Now the basement's flooded, and we need a new wireless router! {InsanityDemon's internet goes down} I hate that computer of yours...
ALBINO: Um, yeah... {crawls into the airvents, comes back out without the clock} There we go!
INSANITYDEMON: I'm sorry. Tell you what, I'll build a new router for you. And it'll be lightning fast and cover the whole hotel without any extensions.
ALBINO: I just wonder what the rest of the resort thinks.
{cuts to zoos room. zoo's asleep on an orange and purple bed. suddenly, tons of water falls on him, waking him up. cuts back}
INSANITYDEMON: Yeah. I'm really sorry about that. I thought The Cheat was gonna break the Internet connection.
KIRBYCHU HR'D: {sighs} I'll go activate the emergency drain... {walks off}
{The water begins to drain out of the hotel shortly after Kirbychu leaves. Kirbychu walks back in once all the water is gone.}
KIRBYCHU HR'D: Along with the new router, you owe me about $7000 to cover water damage.
{InsanityDemon types in some commands. Seven $1000 bills come out of the printer at the other end of the room.}
KIRBYCHU HR'D: I'm pretty sure that's illegal, but oh well. {walks off}
INSANITYDEMON: And now to make that router.
{InsanityDemon makes what looks like a NetGear router, except it is also a modem and much more powerful.}
KIRBYCHU HR'D: {enters and throws the $7000 at InsanityDemon} The repairs were done for free, so you can keep the money. {takes the router and leaves}
{The internet starts back up.}
INSANITYDEMON: {picks up the $7000} You know, I've needed a new Bluetooth adapter for ages. And there's some software I really need, too. {runs off to the computer store; comes back with a Bluetooth adapter, Microsoft Visual Studio 2014, Adobe Design Premium CS6 and $3500 left, which Kirbychu then takes}
KIRBYCHU HR'D: Now I have enough to put in a skating rink! {runs off}
INSANITYDEMON: Well, I bought these things, so I might as well use them.
{InsanityDemon installs Microsoft Visual Studio 2014 and Adobe Design Premium CS6, and plugs in the Bluetooth adapter. Later, he gets a video call from Kirbychu. (He uses Skype on his computer, so it acts like a phone.) He answers it using a Bluetooth headset (it has a mini-projector for video calls).}
KIRBYCHU HR'D: The skating rink's ready!
INSANITYDEMON: Cool! {runs off to the skating rink with his laptop}
Day 2
{InsanityDemon walks back in and opens his laptop. Move camera to show he is updating his blog.}
INSANITYDEMON: {giggling slightly} Wow. I haven't been this funny since that time Albino, Kirbychu and I went on 15 Seconds Of Laughs.
{Cutaway joke: InsanityDemon, Albino and Kirbychu HR'D are on a stage. They pretend to get into an elevator, making low-volume sound effects to add to the scene. A pause.}
KIRBYCHU HR'D: {singing} Who did it? Who did it? {points at Albino; audience laughs} Was it you {stops pointing at Albino; points at InsanityDemon} or was it you? {stops pointing at InsanityDemon}
ALBINO: {singing} It was me!
INSANITYDEMON: {singing} It was me too!
KIRBYCHU HR'D, ALBINO AND INSANITYDEMON: {all singing} Synchronised farting! {audience laughs again} Oh, what a tragedy!
{The audience all applaud Kirbychu HR'D, Albino and InsanityDemon. End cutaway joke.}
{A second Kirbychu HR'D walks in. He stares at the first Kirbychu.}
KIRBYCHU HR'D (2): ...KIRBY! HAVE YOU BEEN PLAYING WITH MY CLONING MACHINE AGAIN!?!
INSANITYDEMON: Either that or he used my personality transferrer on a blank robot ... but how did he get his hands on my GAK? [1]
IM A BELL: Maybe THIS is the problem? {is holding InsanityDemon's phone} I found it in their room. It just so happens that is got sucked into my leg when it was a Missingno. Dunno how that happened, or why nobody noticed it. {throws the phone to InsanityDemon}
INSANITYDEMON: {catches the phone; plugs it in} Gosh, I should really keep an eye on this thing. The GAK can cause a lot of chaos in the wrong hands. What if the personality transferrer broke?
{InsanityDemon imagines hundreds of beings, each mixed together from all the guests in the hotel.}
LEAD CREATURE: We must conquer the world!
{All the other creatures cheer in agreement.}
INSANITYDEMON: {looking slightly shocked} I'm just glad I can trust Zoo, Bell and Kirbychu.
{zoo walks in. he carries a bowl of white stuff}
ZOO977: Hi!
INSANITYDEMON: Is that sour cream? And if it is, where are the chips and the salsa?
ZOO977: Yes, and I didn't bring any.
INSANITYDEMON: I've got salsa in the fridge, so that just leaves the chips. {puts on his headset; dials a number} Room Service, can you send up a 1kg bag of Doritos, please? {pause} Thanks. Bye! {hangs up} It'll be up here i—
{A somewhat large bag of Doritos falls on InsanityDemon's head. InsanityDemon picks up the bag, pours its contents into a bowl and puts on the TV. (He has to use his GAK, of course.)}
INSANITYDEMON: Oh, cool! Whose Line!
DREW: ...as we move onto a game called "Props." This is for everybody. These props are for Ryan and Colin, {passes two umbrellas to Ryan and Colin} while these ones are for Wayne and Brad. {passes two giant field cones to Wayne and Brad} What we do is we go back and forth thinking of as many uses for our allocated props as possible, starting with Ryan and Colin.
{Ryan and Colin pose as if riding a tandem bike.}
RYAN: Deploy parachutes!
{Colin opens both umbrellas and point them backwards, like parachutes. The audience laughs.}
{InsanityDemon laughs.}
{Drew buzzes Ryan and Colin. Wayne and Brad put their cones on their heads, purposely covering part of their faces.}
WAYNE: Talking lamps! Get your talking lamps here!
{The audience laughs.}
BRAD: Free for a limited time only!
{dot comes in. she has a box with four key holes}
DOT: Hey, newly changes name! Do you have any keys? I have a Jeremy Fink box.
INSANITYDEMON: I have a master key, in fact. {pulls said key out of a compartment in his phone; unlocks and opens the box} Wow! It's a brand new Nintendo Central. [2] {points to his Central} I have one just like that, and my one's even got a computer kit so I don't really need my laptop anymore. You want my laptop?
DOT: Ok?
INSANITYDEMON: If you don't really want it, you can give it to Zoo or Albino.
DOT: Actually, I was just confused. I rarely follow conversations I'm not in. Also, you are aware that's probably not going to be the name?
INSANITYDEMON: Of course I know. It's still a beta, and Nintendo can change the name if they want.
DOT: Anyways, to do something with this thing!
INSANITYDEMON: Wait. Before you go, either take my laptop with you or {holds up a flyer saying "Free Laptop Available, Very Good Condition, Visit Room 407 For Details"} put this flyer up in the foyer for me.
DOT: Ok! {takes the laptop and the flyer, walks away}
{InsanityDemon turns off all the equipment and goes to sleep.}
Day 3
{InsanityDemon wakes up, turns on all his equipment and has breakfast (a bacon, egg & cheese wrap).}
INSANITYDEMON: Might as well change something on the hotel website, for no particular reason.
{InsanityDemon turns on the computer in his Central and hacks into the hotel server. On the contact page, he changes the email address to "[email protected][3]".}
{Kirbychu enters holding a battle axe.}
KIRBYCHU HR'D: I would suggest changing that back unless you want this in your spinal cord. {waves axe}
INSANITYDEMON: I know. I was just gonna do that as a joke and see if you noticed. I would've changed it back after a minute but I might as well do it right now. {does so}
ALBINO: {not seen} Wait, what's that for?
DOT: {not seen} Just hold still. {a stapler is heard}
ALBINO: AAAAAAH! {albino runs in, a flyer stapled to him} HELP!
IM A BELL: Hmm? {rips flyer off Albino's head, looks at it} Hmm. This is interesting.
ALBINO: {covered the bleeding gap on his forehead} AAAAAAH! {runs out. dot walks in}
DOT: By the way, what was that flyer for? I couldn't read it, because alibn- {coughs} the billboard ran away.
INSANITYDEMON: First, I said to put that up in the foyer, not in your room. And definitely not on Albino's forehead. And second, could you give Dot the flyer for a sec, Bell?
IM A BELL: Wibble. {hands Dot the flyer}
INSANITYDEMON: It was about that laptop. I said you wouldn't have to put up the flyer if you took the laptop for me.
DOT: How'd you know I stapled it to albino's forehead?
INSANITYDEMON: I'll show you how.
{InsanityDemon types in some commands on his Central. A silent security video starts playing and it shows Dot stapling a piece of paper with a picture of InsanityDemon's old laptop on it on Albino's forehead. InsanityDemon presses a key and the video stops. He turns around to look at Dot.}
INSANITYDEMON: Explain that.
DOT: He runs around a lot when in pain. More people would see the flyer then.
INSANITYDEMON: But I already gave my laptop to you! Why do you still need the poster?
DOT: I never read it, remember?
INSANITYDEMON: Oh, right.
DOT: Anyways, I'm gonna go gather my army and crush Zorax once and for all!
INSANITYDEMON: What?
DOT: And by that, I mean I'm getting a bag of flour? {smiles nervously}
KIRBYCHU HR'D: Could you get me some corn flour while you're doing that? There's suppose to be corn bread with dinner tonight at the food court, and I don't have much corn flour to make it with left.
DOT: Ok! {rushes out}
INSANITYDEMON: I wanna know what she's really doing. First I have to find out where she's going.
{InsanityDemon types in some commands and a grid view of every security camera in the hotel comes up on his TV. Dot can be seen running from camera to camera until she stops in the middle of the basement. She grabs a shovel and starts digging. After a while, she pulls some strange-looking creatures - not unlike various species from the Covenant[4] - out of the hole. They gather in an army, led by Dot, and walk up the stairs, creating a vibration throughout the hotel that gradually gets more violent as the army gets closer to Room 404. InsanityDemon and Kirbychu soon follow them.}
KIRBYCHU HR'D: Why do you insist on hacking into the resort's main computer?
{Raggonix walks in}'
RAGGONIX: Someone say hacking? I could help with that.
KIRBYCHU HR'D: No. Leave. NOW.
RAGGONIX: I could also help track Dot.
LEMON: {Peeks in} Come on. I can mod my Atari 2600 to do that.
RAGGONIX: I can do it with just a paperclip and a floppy disc!
LEMON: ... {pulls out his Atari 2600 out of nowhere} As you can see, I can just put any piece of DNA on the game Pitfall, put it in, turn on the game, and it can track them. FOR FREEEEEE!
KIRBYCHU HR'D: Hey you two, leave. NOW.
{Reveals that Lemon is a dummy (not the dumb kind of dummy >:() with a note on it. It says "...Bye. Keep the dummy as a room decoration"}
RAGGONIX: No. {makes electricity}
{A note flies in saying "Raggonix, that's not electricity. That's... Well, you don't wanna know."}
{Raggonix electrocutes the note, burning it to a crisp.}
KIRBYCHU HR'D: I would suggest re-reading the resort rules before continuing with your god-like powers and disobedience.
{A note falls in saying "PWN'D."}
RAGGONIX: You are godmodded too. {Shoots electricity at Kirbychu. Kirbychu, however, being half pikachu, isn't fazed.}
KIRBYCHU HR'D: Explain how I'm godmodding.
RAGGONIX: You are a freaking Pikachu/Kirby mix!
{A note falls in saying "So?"}
KIRBYCHU HR'D: Godmodding has nothing to do with character type, it has to do with the character's powers and how they use them.
INSANITYDEMON: You two think you're so big? Watch this.
{InsanityDemon goes into a folder called "Remote Control" and double-clicks the file named "Plane.exe".}
RCPlane 1.0.2365.2378
Created by InsanityDemon
rcplane> connect id:JAL0052
Searching for planes on flight number JAL0052...
Found 1 plane on flight number JAL0052. Connecting...
Succesfully connected to plane 1 on flight number JAL0052.
INSANITYDEMON: Engines go off...
rcplane> engine 3 toggle
Engine 3 turned off (former setting: on).
rcplane> engine 4 toggle
Engine 4 turned off (former setting: on).
{Cut to the cockpit of Japan Air 52. The pilot is shocked to find that the No.3 and No.4 engines have both shut down. He connects the on-board radio to the ATC tower at Los Angeles International Airport - or so he thinks.}
PILOT: {Japanese accent} Japan Air five-two. We have lost both our starboard engines. No apparent reason. Please advise.
{Cut back to Room 407. Apparently, InsanityDemon has somehow tapped the aeroplane's onboard radio. He puts on his Bluetooth headset.}
INSANITYDEMON: {Californian accent} Japan Air five-two, this is LA International. We have experienced similar problems with other 777s, and it's always just a computer glitch. Wait a few seconds, and your engines will turn back on.
PILOT: Roger, LA International.
INSANITYDEMON: {takes off headset; normal accent} ...and engines go on.
rcplane> engine 3 on
Engine 3 turned on (former setting: off).
rcplane> engine 4 on
Engine 3 turned on (former setting: off).
PILOT: LA International, engines 3 and 4 have just turned back on. Thank you or your assistance.
INSANITYDEMON: {puts headset back on; Californian accent} And thank you for your patience, Japan Air five-two.
rcplane> disconnect
Succesfully disconnected from plane on flight number JAL0052.
rcplane> quit
Goodbye.
{The program closes.}
INSANITYDEMON: {takes headset off; normal accent} Beat that.
{Raggonix shoots a blast of black lightning at a dummy, burning it to ash.}
INSANITYDEMON: That won't do. You need to try and best me in hacking.
KIRBYCHU HR'D: I can do better than that!
{A pause.}
INSANITYDEMON: Well? Let's see how you do at hacking. Standing around won't do much.
{Raggonix types Qwerty in spanish, shutting down the entire state's power.}
RAGGONIX: Done. If you are wondering how I did that, it's my keyboard.
IM A BELL: I can do you one better. {pulls out a laptop, bashes head on keyboard}
{all the power turns back on.}
RAGGONIX: Haha.
{InsanityDemon snaps his fingers. Looking out the window, 10 nuclear missiles launch from behind the giant Hollywood sign aimed at Mars.}
INSANITYDEMON: Now, if you don't mind, I'd like to play Halo.
{InsanityDemon reboots his Central in Xbox Emulation mode and inserts the Halo 3 disc. He decides to play the level The Covenant on Legendary (maximum difficulty).}
If you wish, you can watch this scene on YouTube. A transcript of the whole level is also avaiable on Halopedia.
{The scene begins with a front view of five Pelicans and two Separatist Phantoms, with the Shadow of Intent easily visible in the background. The view changes to a large energy barrier surrounded by Covenant Loyalists.}
MIRANDA KEYES: {over com-link} We hit these three generators, and the barrier will fall?
343 GUILTY SPARK: {over com-link} A small section, yes.
{A Grunt walking on the beach sees the approaching dropships and runs away in fear.}
MIRANDA KEYES: {over com-link} Good enough. Johnson, drop the Chief at the first generator, then head to the third. The Elites will punch right down the middle.
AVERY JOHNSON: {over com-link} Roger that.
{The dropships break formation. Two Pelicans (the first being flown by Hocus) fly in the direction of Tower 1, only to be surrounded on all sides by ground-to-air fire.}
HOCUS: {over com-link} Charlie Foxtrot! Tower One approach has active triple-A!
{The second Pelican is hit by the ground-to-air fire. It goes completely out of control, bumping into the first Pelican and costing Hocus her only Warthog.}
PILOT OF DAMAGED PELICAN: {over com-link} Mayday! I can't control her!
{The damaged Pelican drops out of sight and can be heard crashing into the beach.}
HOCUS: {over com-link} Pelican down! Pelican down!
ODST SERGEANT STACKER: {over com-link} Brace yourselves! We're going in a little hot!
{The Master Chief grabs his Spartan Laser and disembarks from Hocus' Pelican, followed by the ODSTs.}
Reference
- ^ InsanityDemon always carries his mobile phone with him, mainly because it doubles as a 250GB portable hard drive. One program on his phone is a GAK (Global Activation Key) that A) unlocks all his machinery, and B) is required to login to any of InsanityDemon's computer accounts. The GAK automatically changes after every use as an extra fail-safe.
- ^ The Central is Nintendo's next big game console after the Wii. You play it using special gloves that let you actually touch the buttons in menu screens and, when you're actually playing the game, make holograms of the objects you're pretending to handle onscreen. For example, if you're playing Mario Kart 2015, the gloves generate in your hand a hologram of a wheel or a pair of handlebars, depending on what kind of vehicle you're racing in.
- ^ Homsar.egg is a very popular portal site in the Wiki User Wiki universe. Just like Yahoo!, Homsar.egg provides many services for both end users (including Webmail and IM) and web developers (e.g. HTK++ and EggScript); it also supports platform add-ons (e.g. widgets & user scripts) made for every portal site in existence.
- ^ The Covenant is a religiously zealous group of alien species, controlling a large portion of the Orion Arm of the Milky Way galaxy. They waged a genocidal campaign against humanity until they were defeated due to many complications, one of which was internal conflicts. The Covenant was presumably disbanded after its defeat by the UNSC and Covenant Separatist forces. It is unknown what happened to members of the Covenant after it disbanded. [more...]
