Whose Line is it Anyway? (WUW)/Episode 1

Transcript

{Music starts.}

INSANITYDEMON: {voiceover} Good evening, and welcome to Whose Line is it Anyway?! On tonight's show:

{Close-up of Sephiroth.}

INSANITYDEMON: What drink would you like? Sephiroth!

{Close-up of Sylar.}

INSANITYDEMON: Would you like to try our special? Sylar!

{Close-up of Lemon.}

INSANITYDEMON: Should I get you the usual again? Lemon!

{Close-up of Im a bell.}

INSANITYDEMON: And, we're closed right now: Im a bell!

{Bell squints. Medium shot of InsanityDemon as he walks over to his desk.}

INSANITYDEMON: And I'm InsanityDemon. Come on, let's have some fun!

{Music stops.}

LEMON: I don't wanna have fun.

INSANITYDEMON: Hello, and welcome to Whose Line is it Anyway?, the show where everything's made up and the points don't matter. That's right, the points are just like shampoo to Homer Simpson.

{The audience and stars all laugh.}

INSANITYDEMON: Let's get started with a game called Party Quirks. This is for everybody. Sylar, you're hosting a party. The others are guests at the party, but they've each been given a strange identity or behavior. So whenever you're ready, Sylar, start the party.

SYLAR: Welcome guys! Lets start this party!

{While on his hands, Im a bell rings the imaginary doorbell with his feet, then walks in. The audience laughs, and so do Lemon and Sephiroth.}

IM A BELL: Sylar hi, you are how?

SYLAR: Um..... fine?

{Lemon rings the imaginary doorbell, then walks in. Somewhat, he is a mustachio.}

LEMON: That floor is flippen' ugly. Wash it.

SYLAR: Meanie.

IM A BELL: {to Sylar} Good very. {handwalks over to where the refreshments table would be, picks up and imaginary hors o'deuvre with feet}

LEMON: This punch is horrid. {throws punch on Bell}

SYLAR: Bell is opposite and Lemon is mean!

INSANITYDEMON: {buzzes Sylar} Yes!

IM A BELL: {bad imitation of Yoda} Right you are. {backflips, walks back to seat, sits down}

LEMON: Okay, one more time. {throws punch on Bell again} Okay. {walks back to seat}

SYLAR: Was I correct?

LEMON: Yep.

SYLAR: When is Seph going to get here? He said he is coming!

{Sephiroth rings the imaginary doorbell, then walks in pretending to hold a camera and about a hundred toys.}

SEPHIROTH: Hey, Sylar. I've gotta do something important here, and I need all this plus a bit of room.

SYLAR: That is too complex for me. I would like one more after I guess. Rich guy?

LEMON: {yelling from seat} COUGH SPACE HOG COUGH

INSANITYDEMON: He's rich, but you have to be more specific. I'll give you as many guesses as you need until you either get it right or give up. Hint: it's a film camera that he's using.

SYLAR: Film Director.

INSANITYDEMON: {buzzes Sylar} Yes!

{Sylar and Sephiroth walk back to their seats.}

INSANITYDEMON: Wow, that was a real giveaway.

{All laugh.}

INSANITYDEMON: He was a "director filming a stop-motion movie." {short pause} 1000 points to Sylar for getting them all right in 1 guess, and 500 points to Sephiroth for pretending to use all those toys. Now let's move on to a game called Newsflash. This is for Sylar with the help of Bell and Lemon. Bell and Lemon are two news reporters in the studio, and Sylar is a third reporter in the "field." The catch is, though, that Sylar is really in front of what we call a green screen which the area will be projected onto using the magic of TV. So take it away whenever you're ready, Bell and Lemon.

LEMON: BELL GET YOUR PRE-TEEN BUTT OVER HERE. Also, "take it away" IS THAT A SEXUAL TERM MISTER.

INSANITYDEMON: Nope.

LEMON: ...Oh. Also, what do you mean by that...

INSANITYDEMON: I mean start the game!! Sheesh.

LEMON: What if I don't wanna?

IM A BELL: SHUT UP, LEMON. Anyways, welcome to the Channel 42 News at 5. We are covering a very interesting case today. Let's go out to Sylar, who is there. Sylar, what can you tell us?

SYLAR: There is a lightning storm!

LEMON: Lightning? My grandma ca- {is hit by Bell}

IM A BELL: Lightning? Is it white lightning?

SYLAR: Yeah.

IM A BELL: Huh. OH MY GOD WHAT IS THAT GUY THROWING?!

SYLAR: It looks to me like he's throwing a tantrum more than any kind of physical object.

{Everyone else laughs.}

IM A BELL: Is it bright out there? Everybody seems to be squinting or something.