The Book of Clamburger

This is not the true history of the WUW. This is a heavily glorified tale written by an anonymous kook who compiled it into a large text.

The Book of Clamburger

1 In the beginning, there was darkness. 2 And Super Sam said, let there be a site. And a site was created, and Super Sam looked upon it, and it was good. 2 On the second day, Super Sam created the GUI, and it was good. 3 For about four more days, Super Sam took a break, and he did go to Arby's, and it was good. 4 On the seventh and final day, Super Sam created a servant, and he named it Clamburger. 5 Clamburger was diligent in his abilities, and he was to guard the land of Super Sam. This land was thusly called the Wiki User Wiki, and it was good. 6 However, there were people who wished to enter the Wiki User Wiki. And Clamburger did let them in, for he knew not how to judge people. 7 And these people took advantage of the land, and they were known as Noobs. 8 And the Noobs swept the Wiki User Wiki, tearing it apart with their misguided creations. And Super Sam was angry. 9 And Super Sam did create beings to watch over the Wiki User Wiki, and they were called Sysops. 10 And the Sysops were Shadow Scythe, Bluebry, Ekul, Joshua, Lunar Jesters, Shwoo, Thatkidsam, and The Mu. And the Sysops did well. 11 However, the Sysops needed help, for they could only be in one place at a time. And then the Sysops created Mods. 12 And the Mods were great in number, and their powers could help fight off the Noobs and their substandard creations. 13 And for a time, the paradise of Wiki User Wiki was at peace. 14 However, the Wiki User Wiki was attacked by monstrous beings. These creatures knew not the ways of civilized life, and they were the quintessence of evil, and they were named Vandals. 15 The Sysops and Mods attempted to fight off the Vandals, and they did succeed. They struck down the Vandals from their mighty dark horses, and they did bar their souls from entering once more. 16 And more Vandals attacked, and still did the Sysops and Mods fight them back. However, a few Vandals snuck into the paradise of Wiki User Wiki undetected. And these were the Trolls. 17 The Trolls hid under the guise of a normal User, but inside they were planning to take down the Users of Wiki User Wiki. And they were found and struck down by the Sysops and Mods. And the paradise of Wiki User Wiki was peaceful again.

The Book of Chaos

1 And Wiki User Wiki was a humble land, free of corruption from the outside world of the Internet. 2 But there was one, named Chaos the Seventyseventh, who introduced unto Wiki User Wiki the first of the Great Memes. 3 And the first of the Great Memes was named Mr. Hedgehog. And the Users were happy. 4 But there were some who protested the Great Memes, for they were false idols. But there were more who supported the Great Memes. 5 And the Great Memes increased in number, with Memes such as Well and Doggy. And the Users flew into a rage. 6 The Users pleaded to the Sysops and Mods to eliminate these Great Memes from Wiki User Wiki, but they did not listen. And the Sysops and Mods ignored the pleas of the Users, and the Users did turn against the Sysops and Mods. 7 And Super Sam wept. 8 "My sons are fighting over false idols, and I cannot stand to bear witness to this most vile of acts. However, I cannot erase the false idols from Wiki User Wiki, and I shall allow them to stay. Let not one of you speak up against the Memes again, or I shall strike you down." And thus did Super Sam speak, and the Users were silenced. 9 And the Great Memes did live hand in hand with the Users, and all was once more.

The Book of Vindicator

1 And Wiki User Wiki was a great place, with no fights, for a time. 2 But a Mod by the name of Vindicator did speak his mind. And he said that the creations of the Users were derived and unoriginal. 3 And another User, named Skullbuggy, also spoke of this unoriginality. And people were outraged. 4 And the Users attempted to rectify this epidemic. And they did fail. 5 And the Great Memes of Wiki User Wiki were attacked, and they did suffer damage. And the creations of Wiki User Wiki were judged based on unoriginality, and the Users were frightened. 6 And as soon as the problem did start, it died down. And Wiki User Wiki was happy once more.

The Book of JCM

1 And Wiki User Wiki was a pretty nice place, all things considered. 2 And there was one who believed himself a prophet, who believed Super Sam spoke through him. And this was the User JCM. 3 And JCM did speak what he said was the word of Super Sam, and the Users were suspicious. 4 And many spoke against JCM, claiming him a false prophet. And JCM did whine. 5 JCM did threaten to call Super Sam and have the nonbelievers smitten, and JCM did sit high on his throne, waiting for Super Sam. And Super Sam did not come. 6 JCM did whine again, and he flew into a rage. And Super Sam came down from the heavens. 7 "User JCM, you are not a prophet. I do not speak through you. I do not consider you one of mine anymore." And Super Sam did smite JCM. 8 Yet JCM did not learn his lesson, and continued to preach. But the Users did grow wise and did ignore JCM. And Wiki User Wiki was still alright.

The Book of Chwoka

1 And Wiki User Wiki thrived for a time, and creations old and new flourished, and Wiki User Wiki was a paradise. And Users old and new put effort into their creations, and all was good. 2 And then there arose a problem, of how to classify good from bad. And there was Fanstuff of the Fornight. And Fanstuff of the Fornight was good. 3 At first, Super Sam disapproved. "My sons shall not fight over what is good or not, for all are equal in My eyes. And if you shall continue to argue, there shall be punishment." 4 But the Users ignored the word of Super Sam, and they did pay. 5 And the Users did argue over the quality of their creations, and Wiki User Wiki did run into chaos. And Users JCM and Sephiroth and Zoo were outraged. 6 And they did threaten the other Users with empty statements, and they did threaten to leave. 7 But the Sysops and Mods did know better, and they did start rectifying the problems. But the Users were not pleased. 8 The Users did claim that their way of quality control was not working, and Super Sam did agree. "For no creation shall be judged in Wiki User Wiki, for all are equal in My eye." 9 And Wiki User Wiki was peaceful once more.

The Book of Bluebry

1 There was a Sysop named Bluebry. He was right and just, and believed in freedom for all. 2 And he was DA BEST DA BEST DA BEST DA BEST DA BEST DA BEST DA BEST DA BEST DA BEST DA BEST DA BEST DA BEST DA BEST DA BEST DA BEST DA BEST DA BEST DA BEST DA BEST DA BEST DA BEST DA BEST DA BEST DA BEST DA BEST DA BEST DA BEST DA BEST DA BEST DA BEST DA BEST DA BEST DA BEST DA BEST DA BEST DA BEST DA BEST DA BEST DA BEST DA BEST DA BEST DA BEST DA BEST DA BEST DA BEST DA BEST DA BEST DA BEST DA BEST DA BEST DA BEST DA BEST DA BEST DA BEST DA BEST DA BEST DA BEST DA BEST DA BEST DA BEST DA BEST DA BEST DA BEST DA BEST DA BEST DA BEST DA BEST DA BEST DA BEST DA BEST DA BEST DA BEST DA BEST DA BEST DA BEST DA BEST DA BEST DA BEST DA BEST DA BEST DA BEST