Through Time And Space But Mostly Time/TTASBMT1

{Open to the backyard of Badstar's mansion. Badstar is there with Seph, Maloa, and Kooky}

BADSTAR: Alright, crew! It is almost time to begin takeoff. The others shall arrive soon. But first... Kooky! Status report on the ship!

KOOKY: A-okay, Cap'n! The flux capacitors are all in great shape, not a metal plate is loose, and the leather seats are oh-so-comfy, sir!

SEPHIROTH: Ah.. I remember my first time traveling through time. It was a hoot. Whoooey.

KOOKY: Yeah, you never really get over it, do you?

BADSTAR: Crew! Today is a momentus day. We shall do what no one else has ever done... we are going to prove the existence of time travel.

SEPHIROTH: Like it hasn't been before?

BADSTAR: ...SHUT UP YOU. DON'T RUIN MY DREAMS.

MALOA: RUINING DREAMS! RUINING DREAMS!

BADSTAR: ...Somebody slap him over the side of the head for me.

ETESAY: {runs onscreen} I will! {takes a huge flyswatter out of nowhere, begins whacking maloa repeatedly}

KOOKY: Who's the kid with the technicolor croissant hair? ... Never mind. I don't think I really want to know the answer.

BADSTAR: ...Now as I was saying... we shall prove that time travel is-

???: A load of crap.

BADSTAR: {Gasps} YOU! My arch rival apparently! Dr Brainfreeze!

MALOA: {sing-songy} Cliche!

BADSTAR: ...Okay, hit him one more time.

{Kooky slaps Maloa.}

DR. BRAINFREEZE: We all know time travel is possible... but you'll never do it. Dolt.

BADSTAR: Oh yeah, well... I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE BUT WHAT AM I

DR. BRAINFREEZE: An idiot. Simple as that.

BADSTAR: I despise you... anyway, give me one good reason why I can't travel through time!

DR. BRAINFREEZE: Because... well, I've got friends who can make time travel a pleasant memory.

BADSTAR: And WHAT do you mean by that?

KOOKY: {offscreen} He means he'll kill you probably.

DR. BRAINFREEZE: Indeed. Imago, get over here.

{A strange-looking fly-man in a black lab coat flies over and lands.}

DR. IMAGO: Hello, lads!

BADSTAR: GWAAAAAAAAHHH!?!? Okay, I know we deeply despise each other, b-but... why, oh why, would you wanna kill me!?

MALOA: {gets up, charred} ...Ow.

DR. BRAINFREEZE: Alright, whatever. I'll break your legs or something.

DR. IMAGO: Th-that's no fun.

BADSTAR: Okay the- EVERYBODY ON THE SHIP {Makes a mad dash towards the deck}

{maloa gets up, darting towards the ship. he accidentally pushes etesay onboard, barely noticing.}

RAGGON: Who's hungry?

BADSTAR: NOWS NOT THE TIME

{Stereotypical Texan walks into the scene.}

STEREOTYPICAL TEXAN: THAT MEDIC'S A SPY!

KOOKY: {frantic} J-just get on the ship!

{Kooky runs onto the ship, flapping his wing/arm/wing-arms and "woop-woop-woop"ing.}

BADSTAR: {Grabs Seph by the arm and flings him onboard. Gets in pilots seat} SEE YA, SUCKAHS!!! {Pulls a switch. The ship glows, the vansishes into a flash of light.}

{Later...}

{Badstar is driving the ship through a time portal.}

BADSTAR: {Singing} The cotton stars... look how they shine! Look how they shine for you! And everything you do!

KOOKY: So, Cap'n... What're we doing now?

{Lemon falls in out of nowhere dressed as a hot nurse.}

LEMON: ... Wasn't I just at my work's Casual Friday? How the hell did I get here and where are we?

BADSTAR: Simple, comrad! We are going to go... TO THE WILD WEST ...And Lemon? Shut up.

RAGGON: Who's hungry?

LEMON: Your mom.

KOOKY: The Wild West? My grandpa was a sheriff back then... wonder if I'll see him...

RAGGON: Mine was the criminal and your grandfather's worst enemy Raggon The Kid.

LEMON: My grandpa was named Hamlet's Ham and was a dancer.

BADSTAR: Hey, we're coming up on our exit!

{A sign is floating, pointing to an opening. The sign says "DA WEST"}

'KOOKY: ... Friggin' really? ... Never mind... {quietly} That's what I get for trusting science.

BADSTAR: Okay, I'm gonna have to go turbo! {Presses a button. Rockets come out of the back of the ship. The ship is sent flying at a great speed through the portal. The portal leads to a large desert} H-HEY!!! I'VE LOST CONTROL!!!! WE'RE GONNA CRASH!!!!

LEMON CRASH? Here's the last song we'll here in our lives, then.

{Penny Lane starts playing}

STEREOTYPICAL TEXAN: Erectin' a dispenser! {somehow builds a control panel from a small toolbox.}

KOOKY: Wow. This really makes me wonder why I didn't put airbags in this. ... Welp. There's one more thing I've got to save us with!

{Pause.}

KOOKY: {"whispering"} Somebody ask before we crash alread-

{The ship crashes hard into the sand, yet everything is alright. Badstar flinged from the front of the ship}

BADSTAR AAAAAAAAAHHHHH! {Lands on a cactus right in his... special place} ...

{Kooky floats down on a chair with a parachute attached to it.}

KOOKY: Ejector seats, yo! I hope everyone got theirs to work safely!

{Kooky's chair lands. He gets up and dusts off his pilot's jacket.}

BADSTAR: {Eye twitches} Kooky... I want you to get me off of this thing... and hit me over the head saying that I'm fool for thinking this time travel idea would work...

KOOKY: In any specific order- no, never mind.

{Kooky hoists Badstar off the cactus and slaps him in the face.}

KOOKY: So... Any kind of idea what we do first?

BADSTAR: Well, we should probably look for some people or somethin'. There may be a town up ahead. But first before we go... {Falls down, still injured from the cactus to the... lower area} somebody carry me.

KOOKY: Hahaha, no way. I already saved your ass. Literally.

BADSTAR: Damn you... l-lets just go... {Starts crawling on his hands and knees}

{Much, much, later...}