Zippy Emails Text Adventure For Computers

WELCOME TO ZIPPY EMAILS TEXT ADVENTURE FOR COMPUTERS!

Are you ready to play? Y/N

>Y

Great! Then let's play!

*** GAME START ***

You are ZIPPY THE PLATYPUS, acclaimed email checker and one of the manliest men around! With your purple fur and beaver tail and red bandana, nothing's stopping you from going where you want except your awful lack of motivation! Today, you've got nothing to do, really, so you figure you'll take a day off from funny and just relax with your favorite...

Wait a minute... where is it? You could have sworn the remote control was right where you left it! It's always where you leave it, right? ... Something must be up. It's up to you and your rock-hard abs to solve this mystery!

*** OKAY GAME START FOR REAL ***

LIVING ROOM

You are in the LIVING ROOM. In this room is your TELEVISION SET as well as a COUCH for sitting on. A COFFEE TABLE sits in front of the couch. The KITCHEN is to your EAST. The HALLWAY is to your NORTH. OUTSIDE is to your SOUTH.

>strip

You take off your BANDANA and shove it in your... pocket? Do you have one? ... Whatever.

>go s

You go SOUTH.

OUTSIDE

You are OUTSIDE. The grass is green and the sun is shining and you'd rather be back inside. MITCH is nextdoor, trimming his hedges like always. Going NORTH will get you back into the house. Going NORTHWEST will take you into the BACKYARD. Going SOUTH will take you across the street and to your friend KOOKY's house.

>Go SOUTH

KOOKY'S HOUSE

You're in front of KOOKY's house. The door is locked. Seriously, go back and get some items.

>Lockpick the door with your... bandana?

You try to. However, once you realize what the hell you're doing you decide not to and GO GET SOME ITEMS GODDAMMIT

>Enter by breaking the window

You've got absolutely nothing to help you get in, illegally or no. Go get some items at your house already.

>Get in your car, and drive through the wall.

You don't have a car. Stop it.

Guess what? Since none of you know how to play a text adventure, Zippy has spontaneously keeled over, dead.

*** WOW YOU'RE ALL AWFUL ***

Restart?

>CURSE YOU! restart or GANNON VOICE die

Maybe I won't.

ZIPPY: ... Sorry. The parser gets like this sometimes.

>Seriously, though. Restart.

ZIPPY: ... Oh, boy. He's not coming out, is he?

No.

ZIPPY: FRG- Okay, okay. What do you want?

Make them give me something.

ZIPPY: Jesus, quit acting like a baby.

No.

ZIPPY: ... I guess he wants something.

>Give author an apple fritter

Error: AUTHOR not found.

ZIPPY: Great. He ran off. ... Well. I guess it's up to me now, isn't it?

>Go gather a party

ZIPPY: I guess. Whatever you say.

{Zippy walks off screen. He walks back on. Monroe walks on screen.}

ZIPPY: How about this guy?

MONROE: What up?

ZIPPY: Is he good enough for you?

MONROE: I enjoy swatting people over the head with a wooden spoon if that means anything to you.

Monroe joins party, Y/N?

>Hmmm... Y! Yes, too! HEH GET IT

MONROE: ... N-no.

ZIPPY: Alright, then! We've got a party!

MONROE: Two is company, as they say!

ZIPPY: Okay, then. ... What now?

>I SHALL JOIN YOU. Y/N?

ZIPPY: N wait a minute I AM THE ONE ASKING QUESTIONS

>Okay, fine. Hmmmm.... I think I have an idea. Any of you got any money on you?