Leviathan/eps/PILOT

Transcript

{Open to the interior of a bathroom toilet stall. A man is crouched down, standing on the toilet seat, holding onto a large suitcase and panicking.}

BENNY TORINO: I can’t believe it… I cannot believe it. I just did it. I just stole from one of the biggest casinos on Mars. What the hell was I thinking?! I am going to die for sure!

{The sound of the bathroom door is heard opening, and three men charge into the room. Cut to the exterior of the stall, revealing the three men to be standing side to side, each of them pointing their guns at the bathroom stall.}

CASINO GUARD A: Come out! You can't run from us any longer!

CASINO GUARD B: We'll shoot!

CASINO GUARD A: Give up already, Torino! We have you cornered! Just come out and-…

BENNY TORINO: Shit. Busted. Hmph, it's either now or never!

{Torino violently kicks down the stall door, holding a pistol in one hand and the suitcase in another. His face is glistening with sweat and his body is shaking erratically.}

CASINO GUARD B: So ya wanna fight, huh?

CASINO GUARD C: You're such a-..

{Torino quickly maneuvers himself behind the third guard and puts him in a chokehold. He shoots at the other two guards’ legs, incapacitating them and buying enough time to escape. He releases his grip from his hostage, only to slam his head against the wall, knocking him out completely. He runs out of the bathroom, making his exit with the suitcase.}

{Cut to the cockpit of the Leviathan X. Seth is lounging around on the Captain's chair with a can of Pepsi in his hand. He is lazing about and using the ship's monitor as a way of watching television. Around him is a huge pile of trash, such as soft drink cans and fast food boxes. B-621, his ZAAAAANY robot companion/assistant/lackey/butt monkey stands by his Captain, a full soda can at the ready. K-Bot is in the background, attempting to clean up the piles of garbage.}

B-621: Y'know, I never would have expected this show about the "stupid ages" would be so popular.

{Cut to the screen. The hit sitcom "Wacky Adventures in Wiki City" plays.}

RAIKU: {In the show} HEY GUYS, CAN I HELP TOO? {Randomly runs into a wall} I meant to do that!

BROOKSIE: That's our Raiku! {Laughtrack. Cut back}

B-621: {Chuckles} Oh, Raiku. What will you do next?

SETH: Eh, I've found the show to be quite stale, to be honest. Ever since they did a huge build up to that purge storyline only to have it end with a massive anti-climax.. I don't know, it just hasn't been the same since. But of course, some people have been saying that it went down the drain way before that. They claim that it was the NSMC arc that really ruined the series. What do you think?

B-621: If you ask me, I think it started going downhill after they banished Noid from the city. I mean, really. It's just unrealistic. You just don't banish someone for reading crude literature in public. ...Well... there was that one incident on Planet Conservon on a couple years back... but still, it probably didn't apply back then.

K-BOT: Hey, Captain Seth, I just found the ship's communicator under your pile og trash, and it says it's picking up an urgent message. Should I bring them up on screen?

SETH: Urgent message, eh? Lay it on me, then.

M3GA: It seems that there is a- wait a minute? Should i go back to work?

{K-Bot activates the communicator. The TV show is cut off and replaced by the image of a man's face. Guffaw appears in the corner of the screen.}

GUFFAW: GREAT NEWS, EVERYONE! A NEW BOUNTY HAS JUST BEEN ANNOUNCED!!

SETH: Brilliant! Who is it?

{The man's information opens up, showing next to the man's image. It reads:}

NAME: BENNY TORINO

AGE: 37

SPECIES: HUMAN

HEIGHT: 5 FEET 7 INCHES

WEIGHT: 253 POUNDS

BOUNTY: 30,000 SHOUMEIS

GUFFAW: The man was seen stealing from the "Lonestar Casino", one of the biggest casinos on Mars. The owner of the Casino is offering this huge sum of money to the man who turns him in and retrieves the valuables. Isn't that great?

B-621: Sweet something of something, Captain! Just look at all those... sho... s-shou... shoe...? {Brief pause} ...Look at all the money he's offering!

M3GA: Well, what kind of money, 5 dollar bills and a cheese sandwich?

K-BOT: Well I'm not an expert, but I don't think you're that far off. I think sho... shrew... shroom... those things are counted by fives. But even so, that's quite a bit of money. What do you think, Seth, should we take the case?

SETH: Hmm... It depends on whether there's anything good on television? Guffaw, show me the television guide!

GUFFAW: It is my duty to remind you all that you are running low on food supplies and cash! While it's not my place to say so, perhaps you should consider the job? But don't let me tell you what to do! You don't have to if you don't want to! Do you still want to see the television guide, captain?

SETH: Oh fine, we'll take it!

GUFFAW: Excellent! I'll send a message to the casino owner and the Martian authorities! Do you want me to set a course for Mars?

SETH: Of course I do!

GUFFAW: Righteo! Have fun with your little adventure, and try not to get killed!

{Guffaw signs off, and the monitor switches to the navigation system.}

SETH: I swear, that AI really makes me feel uncomfortable.

PTER: {yawns} I just woke up, what'd I miss?

SETH: We received a new bounty. More money. And with more money, we might be able to afford more upgrades.. Or more junk food, I don't know.

PTER: Oooh. {devilish laugh} How many body bags should I bring? Three? Four? Do I need body bags for the body bags?

SETH: Well, um.. I'm kinda hoping that we won't need any. I'm not sure that the bounty applies if we bring him back dead.

PTER: Who said anything about dead? Sometimes I use my body bags to bind opponents, then proceed to Izuna Drop them into the floor.

SETH: Izu-what?

PTER: Fucked if I know!

SETH: ...Y'know what? Never mind. Let's just catch this guy as quick as possible, so we can get paid as soon as possible.

{The ship goes into hyper-speed. Flash forward, an hour later. The Leviathan X has reached Mars, and is descending into the planet's atmosphere.}

GUFFAW: Weeeeeee'll be landing in ten minutes!

M3GA: Can't wait. Just need to play that song of how we're landing on the guitar. And I'm only singing by myself. just want you to know. {plays the guitar}

{A loud thud is heard. The door opens and slinking through the doorway is a man dressed in a white labcoat. He lifts his head up to reveal taught black hair with surprisingly sharp teeth.}

??? Can I go back to bed yet? It's 8:00...in the morning. My day doesn't start until at least a hard noon.

SETH: How can you sleep at a time like this? For the first time in two weeks, we've finally received a bounty!

???: Wonderful, that means we can fuck up again and I can patch you all up without getting paid again and we can be ridiculed by the other ship crews at the hyper-hub again. That's an idyllic lifestyle right there.

B-621: {Suddenly wearing a black suitjacket with an unstraightened black tie} Cheer up, doctor! We're visiting a casino! I've been researching the very subject for months now and I'm going to... "win big", as they say!

???: Hmm...I have been feeling the itch of the gambling bug. All right, I guess I can perk up. Your Doctor Krauss is all aboard. But I expect some leisure time out of all of this.

SETH: Then it's settled! We're going for the Jackpot!

B-621: Excellent! I have already perfected my p-p-p-p-pokerface! {Puts on a pair of novelty glasses, the kind with a big fake nose and moustache} Nobody shall suspect a thing.

SETH: Then it's settled! We're going for the Jackpot!

GUFFAW: We have almost finished landing! Get ready, guys!

{Cut to a flourishing city on the surface on Mars. The Leviathan X hovers over it, slowly making its landing on an empty parking space that's just outside of the Lonestar Casino. The main doors of the ship open and the ramp extends. The crew come out and walk down it. Doctor Krauss is last, who seems to be esorted by a robot with a build similar to his and the same set of teeth.}

KRAUSS: Come on, GR, right this way.

GR-01: I can't believe you decided to come catch a mobster. Do you know what they're like? And that's got to be an awfully dirty job!

{Doctor Krauss waits until the group is a safe distance ahead.}

KRAUSS: It's okay, GR, I'm not actually going to get my hands dirty on this job! As a matter of fact, I planned to organize a caper!

GR-01: A...Caper?

KRAUSS: Yeah! I saw it in this movie from my History in Film class, Ocean's Googolplex. Starring Robot Zac Effron and Linda Glogzerxwyxx!

GR-01: That was just a comedy movie! It will never work!

KRAUSS: Wait and see GR, wait and see.

B-621: {Calling from ahead} Come on, doctor! We're going to... er... "score"! Yes, that's it! "Score"! Oh, I like how that sounds!

KRAUSS: Coming!

{K-Bot is walking slowly, taking in the lights and sounds of the casino. He accidentally walks into B-621.}

K-BOT: Er, sorry. I've never been to a casino before, and all these lights and noises are a bit overwhelming...

{Cut to another part of the city. Torino is walking the streets while speaking quietly on a headset. Around him is a robe with the hood up, to conceal his identity.}

TORINO: I've got the goods. This one should be something big... Yeah, see you in six hours.

{Torino turns the headset off and walks into a nearby tavern.}

BARTENDER: What will you be having?

TORINO: Just an ordinary beer, please.

{Torino places a couple of notes on the counter. The bartender puts them away and pours a glass out for him. As this is happening, a man from a nearby table walks up to him and taps him on the shoulder.}

DRUNK: H..hey. Excuse me, sir!

{Torino looks back at the drunk man.}

TORINO: I'm not in the mood for talking. Please go away.

DRUNK: Nah, I won't be long! What.. what do ya have in that case of yours?!

TORINO: None of your business. Now please, go away. I'm not in the mood to be talking to the likes of you.

DRUNK: The.. the likes of me, eh? What makes you so special?

TORINO: Hmph.

{Torino looks back at his drink and begins to take a sip from it. The drunk man aggressively pulls him back again, aggravating Torino completely.}

DRUNK: I don't like 'yer attitude, sir! It seems to me that you're lookin' for a fight!

{Torino stands up, turns around and smirks at the man.}

TORINO: Here, have a drink on me.

{Torino picks the glass up and smashes it in the man's face, knocking him down to the ground. He picks the suitcase back up and leaves the scene of chaos, leaving the bartender and the rest of the patrons looking bewildered and scared.}

{Cut back.}

SETH: I wish I could join you all in playing games at the casino. But no, I've got to do the talking, like always! Hmph. Lucky bastards.

B-621: {Gleefully} And I shall be the luckiest of the bastards!

SETH: And I don't suppose any of you actually brought your own money with you, did you?

B-621: Er, well, I have about... four sh-...shoo-...show-...shou...?

{JC storms out of the ship in his underwear.)

JC: Okay, which one of you alien bastards drew these penises all over my face?

K-BOT: {sighs} Sir, as a cleaning robot I can identify even the smallest messes, and I can tell you the only thing on your face is a bunch of oddly-patterned wrinkles. Did you forget yo put your contacts in again?

B-621: {Squint} ...Nnnnope, that's human male genetalia alright. Whoever drew it certainly did a fine job.

JC: Great. Two conflicting opinions from two equally idiotic cyborgs. Christ, I don't even know why I continue to bother. {walks back inside)

SETH: Okay, fess up. Which one of you did it?

WADE: {raises hand} I found a Sharpie by his room, and the temptation was just too strong.

{Seth glares at Wade for a couple of seconds. Wade gulps in fear, but a smile emerges from Seth's face and he quickly bursts out in laughter. He gives Wade a high-five.}

SETH: Okay, that was a good one! That was a really good one!

K-BOT: Yeah, I knew that was there, I was just kinda hoping he would take the word of a cleaning robot and leave us alone. Seth, why do you continue to allow that old jerk on the ship? Why not put him into a retirement home with a bunch of other old ex-captains?

SETH: It's not as easy as that, K. He's an old bastard and all, but I still owe him for the kindness he's shown to me throughout the years. I know it's probably hard to believe, but underneath his cold and wrinkly exterior, there's a heart of gold.

PTER: {pops up from behind Seth} I'd know! You know all the surgery and crap I've done to keep that man alive?

K-BOT: Anyways... what are we going to do now that we're here? We're suppose to be finding this "tortellini" or whatever guy, but we can't really do much about that without some sort of clues about where, or even who, he is.

SETH: Well, I'm gonna see if we can retrace his steps. You know, ask around for a bit, do a bit of investigation. You guys can do whatever you want while you're in there, I guess. Just try not to lose too hard.

{Cut to the interior of the Casino. The crew walk through the front doors, only to be halted by two guards.}

GUARD A: Sorry to disappoint, but this Casino is currently under lock-down. All ordinary people have been ordered to leave. Unless you're here for the-..

SETH: I'm here for the bounty! And to catch this guy, I'm gonna need to do a bit of investigating first, y'hear?

GUARD B: But why are you in such a big group? Surely you only need one person to investigate?

SETH: They're all here to investigate too. They're going to investigate the Casino's resources.

GUARD B: You mean they're gonna gamble?

SETH: Yep.

GUARD A: Heh. Well, seeing as you're here on official "investigation" terms, I think we'll get away with letting you all in. Good luck.

{The guards step aside, letting the group through.}

PTER: {rubs his hands together evilly} Eeeeeexxxcellent.

M3GA: {whispering} Now we got to find what kind of stuff we have to investigate. Am I right, guys?

K-BOT: You're absolutely right! Do you think we should split up into smaller groups or teams, or all go as one?

SETH: Smaller groups would do, I guess. I wouldn't mind if someone were to come with me. That is, of course, if any of you are actually willing to skip the casino games in favour of aiding me.

B-621: Forgive me, Captain. But I believe I'll stay here and "test my luck" as they s-

PTER: {sadistically} I'm just lookin' to "get to work" if you know what I mean...Hmhmhmhm...

B-621: ...On second thought, I wish to be as far away from him as possible. I'll come with you, Captain.

SETH: Alrighty, then! Anyone else willing to join me?

K-BOT: {slowly stepping away from Pter} Yeah... I think I'll come along too...

PTER: Oh well. More games for me!

B-621: {Horrified} C-can we just go now...?

SETH: Yeah, I think it would be for the best. C'mon guys.

{Seth goes further into the casino, accompanied by K-Bot and B-621.}

K-BOT: Since we're here, and away from him, would one of you mind telling me what these odd, brightly lit machines with levers and spinning dials do?

B-621: Ah, I've done my fair share of studying on this subject! Just a moment. {Walks over to a nearby slot machine} First, you insert a... show... shin... sha...?

SETH: Just say money, for sol's sake!