Barry Bird Emails/trick or treat

summary: Barry Bird celebrates Halloween and shit. Some gangsta 420 Doritos Mountain Dew-loween! #xboxone

CAST: Barry Bird

Scene: Computer Room

Page Title: Compyman

Date: October 28, 2015

Transcript

{scene opens with Barry in the computer room}

BARRY: {singing while typing, barrybirdemails.exe} I am the root! I am the table! The email! I am the email! And also the table! {stops singing and mutters} Okay, I'll shut the fuck up.

Subject: HAPPY HALLOWEEN YA SHITHEAD!

Hey...
Stop checking emails and go trick or treating.
Like right now.
From a fan.

BARRY: Okay. {leaves}

BOSS BOO: {enters the screen} Hey! Barry's gone again. Sweet. Now I'll check his emails! BOO GON GIVE IT TO YA! {presses enter}

Subject: It's been a while.

Dear Barry,
We miss you. I'm sending an email to you so that
you might come back. I'm your big fan.

From Trent Manor
Boston, Massachusetts

BOSS BOO: {types} Oh hey, lead singer of Nine Inch Nails. Go fuck yourself! {deletes email} Seriously. This email show is dead. It's 2015, nobody watches email shows. People just tweet shit and hashtag things on Facebook. {sigh} What else?

Subject: Hey sexy.

Dearest Barry Bird,

I'm looking for a hot, sexy bird that has a
very nice cock-a-doodle-doo. Come over so that we
can have sex.

Love,
Abagail
Las Vegas, NV

BARRY BOO: {stops reading midway through} Bitch, please! {deletes} Alright, email over! {leaves}

{the paper comes down}

Click here to Email Barry Bird

at [email protected]

NEXT EPISODE COMING SOON, BITCHES!