Jose's Mexican Space Adventure/s1e02

Summary

Amidst terrorist threats, Jose gets more than he bargained for.

Transcript

{Open to a dark office lit by lone desk lamp. Jose is seated alone in an office chair smoking a cigarette}

JOSE: (v/o) Much has changed in the past two years.

{Jose pulls open a curtain, revealing a porthole looking over the vast emptiness of space.}

JOSE: (v/o) Civil War. El Pueblo de Cuerno de Carnero wanted their 15 minutes of fame. They wanted 1 billion frayed Spacebux injected to their Mexicredit account. And they'd do anything for it.

{Pans to newspaper clipping on wall. "SPACE MEXICAN GOVERNMENT RECIEVES TERRORIST THREATS"}

JOSE: (v/o) I don't negotiate with terrorists. But they won.

{Newspaper clipping, "WEALTHY POLISH IMMIGRANT CHAOS MALIFACTOVICH ASSASSINATED IN SPACEMEX CASINO"}

JOSE: (v/o) They took Chaos first. The new guy. And then the rest.

{Clippings flash in order of murder. "MATHEMATICIAN NOXIGAR GUADALUPE FOUND COMATOSE IN SPACEMEX ALLEY", "TRUST FUND KOOK LEXON DARKHEART FOUND DEAD, SUSPECTED SUICIDE BECAUSE HE'S CRAZY", "PLUMBING CEO CD-I MARIO DEAD"}

JOSE: (v/o) At the end, it was me, AVGN, D'arque, and Honeydew. They saved the worst for us. Honeydew got thrown in the middle of an asteroid belt. D'arque was dropped from a helicopter into a volcano. AVGN... my SON... kidnapped unless I paid the billion. Presumably, they killed him. I wouldn't know, because they put me here.

{Jose opens a drawer and pulls out a handgun.}

JOSE: I hope he outlives me.

{Cut to a view outside, uprooted office room floating through space. A gunshot is heard. Fade to black.}

The End.

{It is revealed that this is not actually the end, as news reporters flock to the scene and open the door cautiously, hearing the gunshot echo through space. They find Jose shooting a gun into the floor.}

JOSE: Thank god you guys came! I'm moving to Space USA!

SHELDON COOPER: Bazoiple!