Difference between revisions of "User:Badstar"

Revision as of 15:35, 1 August 2011

	This page is part of Grand Ayatollah Lex's Empire.
	This page is under protection from the Empire. Any attacks upon it will be reciprocated. buttz.

'Sup bitches?

Check me out over at Steam as The Great and Powerful Luna.

AREN'T PONIES GREAT GUYS AREN'T THEY GREAT

BADSTAR'S OMEGLE ESCAPADES

Stranger: hi

You: Greetings.

Stranger: where u from?

You: Planet Splindak.

Your conversational partner has disconnected

Okay, I was gonna jump into character into this next one, but then somebody said "ASL". ...Again. I had to know what this meant.

Stranger: asl

You: I've been hearing that a lot. What does "asl" mean?

Stranger: age/sex/location

You: Ah.

You: 15, male, the moon.

Stranger: k no be serious plz

You: Okay, okay. Sorry.

You: I live on Mars. Not the moon

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

This guy is awesome

Stranger: Hi

You: Greetings.

Stranger: Classy

You: I try

Stranger: Its nice

You: It is. I am always one for classiness.

Stranger: Good

Stranger: Where are you from?

You: The moon.

Stranger: I see

You: Nice up here. Quiet, but nice.

You: You?

Stranger: Holland

You: Oh. Y'know, you're nice. Most usually leave when I say I'm from the moon.

Stranger: Thanks and no problem

You: Really, how is it so hard to be believe?

Stranger: No, they must be jealous of your superior living place

You: Exactly! You understand!

You: No respect on Earth anymore. Exactly why I left a few years back.

You: Say, I haven't been down there in about... 3 years. Could I ask you some questions?

Stranger: Yes go ahead

You: Is Bush still president?

Stranger: Nope

You: ...Seriously? Awesome!

You: Who is it now?

Stranger: Barack Obama

You: Ooooh, sounds nice. He doing a good job?

Stranger: He's doing alright i think

You: Good. War still going on?

Stranger: Uhm yea sort of, i'm not too up to date on that part since holland quit already

You: Aw... too bad. Thats part of why I left.

You: Okay, one more things.

You: Is gas still 10 bucks a gallon?

Stranger: Its more expensive than ever

You: What!?

You: Oh, that is it. I'm staying up here for another couple years.

Stranger: Oh yes it's bad

You: I was hoping it would be better.

You: I'm getting kinda sick of the moon.

Stranger: I understand

You: I'm kind of running low on space ice cream.

You: I'd go to the store, but...

You: That's a bit of a problem.

Stranger: I must be indeed

You: I guess I could go back down for a couple minutes, but... well...

You: I didn't even use a rocket.

You: I used a catapult.

You: Yeah, I don't believe it either.

Stranger: Ha!

You: I've tried sending letters, but... they just kinda float.

Stranger: Yeah that doesn't work

You: Half of them flew into the sun.

You: I don't even know how I got this computer!

Stranger: You're lucky to have one though

You: Yeah, but... it is weird. I tried following the cable, but it doesn't really lead... anywhere.

Stranger: Thats weird yes

You: The only site I get on this thing is Omegle. I've been trying to get help for a few weeks, but like I said, nobody believes me and just logs off.

Stranger: Oh well, is there anything i could do for you?

You: ...Could you find a way to launch up some space food?

You: ...And water?

You: I'd appreciate it.

Stranger: I do'nt think i have a catapult big enough

You: Doesn't even have to be a catapult.

You: Just... rent a rocket or something.

Stranger: Hmm okay, i have no experience with those whatsoever though

You: ...A toy helicopter? That might work.

You: Maybe a good slingshot.

You: Oh, I've got it! A balloon!

You: A green one would be nice, but I'm down with whatever.

You: I assume you're getting the balloon. Take your time

I don't think this next one realized I was joking, but hey. That makes it funnier.

Stranger: hi

You: Hello.

Stranger: ask me 5 questions and i'll tell the truth

You: Uh, okay.

You: What is love? (Baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me, no more)

Stranger: (good one!) i think love is when you care for someone else more than for yourself because you make each other smile

You: Okay, that's a good explanation. 5 points.

You: Alright, next one... um...

You: Why does Westboro Baptist Church suck?

Stranger: i don't know what that/they are, i count that as "No question"

Stranger: in ur favour ;)

You: ...Hey, good enough for me. 20 points.

You: Okay, question 3: Is Chuck Norris as badass as the internet says?

Stranger: no he isn't. he's just a below-good-acting-skills-actor and not worth talking about. just some internet-hype

Stranger: (btw that was question no2 cuz i wasn't able of answering that westboro thingy)

You: ...I will not deduct any points from your current score. But just know this: Chuck heard that. ...He is coming.

You: Oh, okay.

You: Question 3: Why is it called a smartcar if you look so stupid driving one?

Stranger: i dunno, perhaps cuz it shall give the driver the feeling that he is smart when he drives a car with that name

You: I can accept that. 5 points.

You: 4: Is the cake really a lie?

Stranger: in the game: yes, cuz the creators wanted it that way. in reality: even more yes

You: For the game, correct. Reality... I am sorry, but wrong.

You: I have some in my kitchen. It is delicious. 5 point deduction.

You: It is time for question 5. This will determine if you get the grand prize. Are you ready? Stranger: yes

You: Okay, here it is. Question 5 is...

You: Why am I so cool? You have 3 minutes to answer.

Stranger: u had a good start with that love question, but that chuck norris and smart-car things wasn't that cool. i also don't know anything about you, so i can't answer the question, although if the cake is not a lie

You: I am sorry, Stranger. By not answering the question, you do not get the grand prize. You: BUT! You do get a consolation prize! You get...

You: Omegle: The Home Game!

Stranger: lol

Stranger: ok i wish u luck, bye ;)

I don't even know

Stranger: hey asl?

You: Age: 15

You: Sex: Male

Stranger: FAG

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

This guy needs a pill for chillin

Stranger: I'm not a girl.

You: I wasn't gonna ask.

You: But I can see why you'd type that.

Stranger: Good for that.

You: I've been asked that, like... over 9000 times already.

Stranger: Haha, me too.

Stranger: So, how are you? You: Fine.

You: You?

Stranger: Fine too. Where are you from?

You: Seattle.

Stranger: Nice city.

Stranger: What's your name?

You: Usually, I'd say The Moon, but I have a good feeling about you.

You: Not too sure about the name though. You can just call me Dr Awesome.

Stranger: Asshole

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

seriously

Stranger: Try the fun, adult version of Omegle! [babes of omegle . com]

You: ...No thank you

You: And this is like, the fifth "sexy omegle" I've heard of. Seriously, pick a creative way to give me a virus

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

AHAHAHAHAHA JUST AHAHAHAHA

Stranger: m or f ??

You: Yes, my name is Morf. How did you know?

Stranger: i saw it written in ur mom's ass

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

He had no idea what he was missing out on

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Official messages from Omegle will not be sent with the label 'Stranger:'. Strangers claiming to represent Omegle are lying.

Stranger: looking for a mature woman

You: Will a 15 year old overweight boy do?

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

best one so far seriously guys

by the away totally safe language up ahead

You: NYANNYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYAN

Stranger: Frank

You: NYANNYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYAN

Stranger: Frank

You: Dammit, Carl. We've had this discussion. Don't interrupt me when I'm Nyaning.

Stranger: I'm sorry baby! Please take me back!

You: OH AND FOR WHAT SO YOU CAN TREAT ME LIKE GARBAGE

You: I'M THE ONLY ONE SUPPORTING THIS FAMILY ANYMORE

Stranger: THAT'S BECAUSE I'M PREGNANT!

You: I KNOW CARL

You: I KNOW IT ISN'T MINE

Stranger: OF COURSE IT IS!

You: I SAW YOU CARL

Stranger: EITHER THAT OR YOUR FATHERS

You: I SAW YOU WITH THE MILKMAN

Stranger: oh yeah, him too. BUT YOUR THE ONLY ONE I LOVE

You: AND THE FARMER

You: AND THE DENTIST

You: AND THE FAMILY CAT

Stranger: THE CAT STARTED IT!

Stranger: AND YOU'RE ALWAYS GONE WORKING

Stranger: WHAT ELSE AM I TO DO?

You: WELL I NEED TO SUPPORT US SOMEHOW

You: MAYBE IT WOULD BE EASIER IF YOU JUST GOT A DAMN JOB

You: OR AT LEAST SHOWED ME SOME DAMN AFFECTION

Stranger: I WORK THE CORNER ON THE WEEKENDS

Stranger: IT'S NOT MY FAULT I'M NOT HOME WHEN YOU ARE!

You: YOU'RE NOT HOME BECAUSE YOU'RE WITH YOUR "GIRLFRIENDS"

You: I KNOW YOU HAVE NO "GIRLFRIENDS" CARL

Stranger: OF COURSE I DO! THEY'RE THE DENTIST, THE FARMER, YOUR DAD, AND THE FAMILY CAT!

You: DEAR GOD MY DAD

You: YOU CHEAP WHORE

Stranger: ...ouch

Stranger: *sniffle*

You: YOUR LOVE IS A LIE

You: THIS WHOLE DAMN RELATIONSHIP IS A LIE

Stranger: no, baby! i still love you!

You: I... I can't do this anymore, Carl.

You: I'm sorry... it's over.

Stranger: But...but...can i keep the cat?

You: I'm taking the cat

Stranger: Or are you moving out?

You: and the kids

Stranger: fucking bitch.

Stranger: WE HAVE OTHER KIDS?

You: OH OF COURSE YOU WOULDN'T KNOW ABOUT THEM

You: YOU'RE ALWAYS IGNORING FRANK AND CARL JR

Stranger: Are they the gnomes that sit in our kitchen all the time???

Stranger: Honey, those are the neighbor's kids, not ours!

You: I CAN DREAM DAMN YOU

Stranger: NO YOU CAN'T, YOU HAVE INSOMNIA!

You: AT LEAST I HAVE A HEART

You: WHICH YOU DO NOT

You: ...HAVE

You: AT ALL

Stranger: YOUR JUST BITTER CAUSE I WONT SCREW YOU ANYMORE!

You: I TRIED CARL I TRIED

You: NOTHING IS EVER GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU

Stranger: TRY MAKING ME A FUCKING SANDWICH EVERY NOW AND THEN, THEN!

You: I AM NOT YOUR SLAVE CARL

You: I HAVE NEEEDS

Stranger: NO YOU DON'T!

You: SEE YOU NEVER BELIEVE IN ME

You: TO YOU I'M A FAILURE

You: JUST BECAUSE I BLEW UP THE KITCHEN

You: 5 TIMES

You: LAST WEEK

Stranger: IT MAKES YOU SUCH A FUCKING DISSAPOINTMENT

Stranger: AT LEAST FINISH HIGH SCHOOL!

You: DON'T YOU THINK I WANT TO CARL

You: BUT YOU'RE SO FUCKING CLINGY SOMETIMES

Stranger: NO

Stranger: THAT'S BECAUSE I REALLY DO MISS YOU SOMETIMES

You: I TAKE DAYS OFF OF WORK

You: BUT YOU'RE ALWAYS "BUSY"

You: WITH MY DAD

You: AND THE MILKMAN

You: AND THE DENTIST

You: AND THE CAT

Stranger: WELL I'M SORRY FOR ACTUALLY MAKING FRIENDS

Stranger: AND YOUR DAD DOES IT BETTER THAN YOU

Stranger: YOUR LIKE YOUR MOTHER

Stranger: SHE'S NEVER SATISFIED

You: "FRIENDS"!? THAT'S WHAT YOU CALL THEM

You: ...THAT IS FUCKING IT CARL

You: I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE

You: THIS MARRIAGE IS A WRECK

Stranger: FINE! I DON'T WANT TO DO IT ANYMORE WITH YOU

Stranger: WE'RE GETTING A DIVORCE

You: I WANT NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU

You: FINE

You: I'M TAKING MR NYAN-NYAN THOUGH

Stranger: FINE! I'M TAKING YOUR FATHER THEN

You: FINE! AND I'M TAKING THE CAR

Stranger: FINE! I'M TAKING YOUR VIRGINITY

You: YOU ALREADY DID

You: AND Y'KNOW WHAT

You: I'VE HAD BETTER

Stranger: *GASP*

Stranger: THAT'S BECAUSE YOU'RE SO LOOSE, WHORE

You: YOU HYPOCRITE

You: I AM GONE

You: AND ONE MORE THING

You: I AM TAKING

You: YOUR MY LITTLE PONY: FRIENDSHIP IS MAGIC

You: DVD BOXSET

Stranger: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Stranger: YOU MONSTER!

You: TWILIGHT SPARKLE DOESN'T DESERVE YOU

Stranger: KNOW WHAT THEN!

Stranger: I'M TAKING THE REST OF THE RAMEN IN THE BACK!

You: YOU HEARTLES SHE-DEVIL

Stranger: THAT'S WHAT YOU GET! I'LL BECOME FAT ON MY OWN

Stranger: WITHOUT YOU

You: YOU WERE FAT ENOUGH ALREADY

You: OH YEAH

You: I WENT THERE

Stranger: OH YOU {woah nelly}! I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU

Stranger: KNOW WHAT, I ALWAYS HATED YOUR COOKING

Stranger: THAT'S WHY I ALWAYS ATE RAMEN

You: ...Even the spinach puffs?

Stranger: especally the spinach puffs >.<

You: ...I... I thought you loved my spinach puffs...

Stranger: No, just another thing I needed to hide from you

You: ...You're... You're...

You: YOU'RE DEAD TO ME

Stranger: YOU'RE ALREADY SIX FEET UNDER TO EVERYONE ELSE!

You: I'M GONE CARL

You: GOODBYE FOREVER

You: OH ONE MORE THING

You: RAINBOW DASH IS NOT THE BEST PONY

Stranger: *gasp* YOU TAKE THAT BACK YOU TASTELESS BASTARD!

You: I SAID IT AND I HAVE NO REGRETS

You: DERPY HOOVES ON THE OTHER HAND You: OH YEAH BEST PONY EVER

Stranger: NO!! DERPY HOOVES? SHE'S THE OUTCAST OF THEM ALL!

Stranger: THAT'S WHY NO ONE TALKS TO HER

Stranger: LIKE YOU

You: DERPY HOOVES LIKES MUFFINS

You: THAT IS GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME

Stranger: NO SHE JUST LIKES YOUR MUFFIN TOP

You: BITCH

You: I'M GONE

Stranger: THAT'S RIGHT

Stranger: FINE

Stranger: I DON'T NEED YOU

Stranger: I COULD HAVE ANOTHER YOU IN MINUTES

You: AND I AM WATCHING ALL OF THE EPISODES

You: GOODBYE FOREVER CARLTON

You: TAXI

Stranger: FINE! I HOPE YOUR CAB CRASHES

You: I HOPE YOU

You: DO

You: A THING

You: A BAD THING

Stranger: EW I WILL NOT SCREW YOUR MOTHER! THAT'S JUST WRONG YOU SICK FUCK

You: I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF THE VERBAL ABUSE

You: NOW MY CAB IS HERE

You: FAREWELL CARL

You: and one more thing...

Stranger: GOODBYE

Stranger: yes?

You: YOUR MOM IS A DIRTY WHORE

You: *Drives off in cab*

Stranger: SO IS YOUR FATHER!

Stranger: *runs after cab*

You: *Sticks head out window* AND Y'KNOW WHAT

You: GREY'S ANATOMY SUCKS ASS

Stranger: IT DOES NOT!

Stranger: *chases with a bike*

Stranger: THE OFFICE ON THE OTHER HAND

Stranger: IS CHEAP AND STUPID

You: HOW DARE YOU

You: STEVE CARELL IS A COMEDY GOD

Stranger: HE CAN BLOW ME

You: YOU MONSTER

You: OH YEAH WELL

You: GLEE IS SHIT

Stranger: NO! THEY'RE MY FUCKING JAM!

Stranger: YOU FREAK!

Stranger: AT LEAST I DON'T DROWN MY SORROWS IN JOSH GROBAN

You: HE LISTENS

Stranger: HE'S RICH AND COULD CARE LESS

You: JOSH CARES

You: HE ALWAYS CARES

You: AND YOU KNOW THAT MUSICAL YOU SHOWED THAT ONE TIME ABOUT THE SUPERVILLAIN PLAYED BY NEIL PATRICK HARRIS WITH THE DOUCHEBAG SUPERHERO

You: IT SUCKED

Stranger: IT DID NOT!

Stranger: IT GOT GREAT REVIEWS AND EVERYTHING@

Stranger: !*

Stranger: IT'S BETTER THAN THAT STUPID BROADWAY MUSICAL YOU MADE ME SEE WITH THE BEANERS VS THE CRACKERS AND ROMEO AND JULIET

Stranger: MOST UNREALISTIC THING EVER

You: Okay, it didn't. I lied. It was pretty awesome. ...OH WHAT

You: THAT WAS A MASTERPIECE

Stranger: *sigh*...yeah actually it kinda was

You: ...Really?

Stranger: Yeah:)

You: ...Hey, were you telling the truth when you said my spinach puffs sucked?

Stranger: Well yes, but only because I hated always lying to you. You're cooking sucks but you're still beautiful to me.

You: ...STOP THE CAR

You: *Rushes out of cab* CARL I CAN CHANGE

Stranger: *Runs toward you* OH I KNOW, AND I'LL TRY TO CHANGE TOO!

You: WE HAVE PROBLEMS BUT WE CAN FIX THEM

You: WE CAN SEE A COUNSELOR

Stranger: AND WE'LL DO YOGA TOGETHER

You: I'VE ALWAYS LIKED YOGA

You: OH CARL LETS NEVER FIGHT AGAIN

Stranger: AWH! OKAY!

Stranger: but i wanna name the baby Shaniqua if that's okay

You: ...seriously? Uh, I mean

You: OKAY

Stranger: Yes!!!!

Stranger: OH I LOVE YOU SO!

You: I LOVE YOU TOO CARL

You: ...Let's go home, Carl.

Stranger: Okay, Frank. Let's go have ramen too.

You: ...I, uh... did mean it when I said Derpy Hooves was my favorite though.

Stranger: *sigh* I figured. As long as you aren't mean to Rainbow Dash.

Stranger: Then I can maybe respect that

You: ...Thank you Carl.

You have disconnected

Stu, why on earth are you looking for sex at 4 in the morning?

You: Stu, what are you doing?

Stranger: hi 21 m here and soo horny

You: I'm a 15 year old chubby kid with acne

You: You into that sorta thing?

Stranger: ur name

You: Alfonzogelousoregira

Stranger: its ur name

You: Yeah

You: It's a very common name

You: How many horns do you have?

Stranger: only one

Stranger: 7 inch long

You: Dude, are you a rhino?

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Second time's the charm?

You: Stu, what are you doing?

Stranger: Liking things on Facebook hah. Wbu?

You: Stu, it's 4 in the morning! Why on earth are you liking things on Facebook?

Stranger: Well here in Michigan in the U.S. It's on 10:47 P.M. Lol

Stranger: Soo where r u from?

You: Chocolate pudding

Stranger: Haha yeah sure

You: You're just jealous

You: All the bitches be jellin' over my pudding

You have disconnected.

This one was so amazing, I had to post it somewhere else. Best one yet

I wonder what his age, sex, and location is

Stranger: hey! i'm 22 m usa, you?

You: BRONY?

Stranger: hey! i'm 22 m usa, you?

You: ...BRONY?

Stranger: hey! i'm 22 m usa, you?

You: ....This is gonna go on like this for a while, isn't it?

Stranger: hey! i'm 22 m usa, you?

You: ......BRONY?

Stranger: hey! i'm 22 m usa, you?

You: WINTER WRAP UP, WINTER WRAP UP

You: LETS FINISH OUR HOLIDAY CHEER

You: WINTER WRAP UP WINTER WRAP UP

You: BECAUSE TOMORROW SPRING IS HERE

Stranger: hey! i'm 22 m usa, you?

Stranger: hey! i'm 22 m usa, you?

You: ...If I tell you, you're going to leave, aren't you?

You: I KNOW YOUR TYPE

You: I CAN READ YOU LIKE A BOOK

Stranger: hey! i'm 22 m usa, you?

You: ...15, male, usa.

You: Cue leaving in 5

You: 4

You: 3

You: 2

You: 1

You: 0

Stranger: hey! i'm 22 m usa, you?

You: OH GOD DAMMIT You: Do you talk like this in real life? Do you ask your mom this?

Stranger: hey! i'm 22 m usa, you?

You: "I'M 22 MALE USA YOU?"

You: "WHY DIDN'T I GET AN ABORTION"

Stranger: hey! i'm 22 m usa, you?

You: "I'M 22 MALE USA YOU"

You: "Son, I'm disowning you"

Yeeeaaaah, this will only probably be funny to the Homestuck readers out there

Comments

Did you ever get that balloon? 20:25, 4 April 2011 (UTC)

Still waiting. These kinds of things take time. -- Badstar

Here's one I had:

You: Hello

Stranger: 15m canada

You: Look on the table in front of you

You: You see a fire poker, some gardening sheers, and a cleaver

You: You have to kill the beast standing next to you with one of these

You: But only one can actually kill it

You: Which do you use?

Stranger: gardening sheers

Stranger: ??

You: it doesn't matter, you'll die alone and sad anyways, lol

It's sad but true ;_; -- Badstar