Difference between revisions of "Second Hand Fics/SAS/eps/1"

Revision as of 19:23, 19 September 2013

Summary

It's been a year, since the World blew up.

REMOLAY: That's not a summary, that's a video game tag line.

Transcript

SEPHIROTH: It's been a year, since our planet was blown up,

REMOLAY: You just said that

and billions have been killed. On the bright side though, we have enough Curry, to last us for 100 years!

REMOLAY: And enough commas, to last, even, longer

CHAOS: And I just got my medical degree online with one of those online college courses. Well, actually, it was my G.E.D.

SEPHIROTH: Chaos. You are a brilliant doctor. You may have a habit of killing the patient when something goes wrong, but, still.

CHAOS: Yes. {shifting eyes} a Coincidental habit. Not because I need their organs or anything.

{The hologram of CC comes up}

CC: Good morning Sephiroth, Chaos.

CHAOS: Good morning test subje-CC. Do you want some curry?

SEPHIROTH: Curry? My curry! ....You can have some.... BUT NOT ALL!!!!

CC: Uh, Chaos, I'm a hologram.

REMOLAY: Nonsense! Every one must eat curry!

CHAOS: Let's say I needed to make some spicy food in the wee hours of the morning to pour on someone's lap to make their skin dissolve so I can dissect them. Could I use it then?

SEPHIROTH: Or, you could use Acid.

REMOLAY: You mean curry isn't acid?

Spicy food is mine! But you can have some...

CC: {Sighs} It's times like this I'm glad that rouge lawnmower cut my head off.

REMOLAY: Well it's kind of hard for it not to be rouge after it's done that.

SEPHIROTH: Yeah, but you can't Taste, Feel, or Smell. And you have a "H" on your forehead. For Hologram. Doesn't that bother you?

REMOLAY: Wasn't this actually a line in Red Dwarf?

CC: Yeah. Dang watermarks.

USERUNKNOWN:I think it does.Since you can change it to a target symbol!

REMOLAY: the fuck did you come from?

{Pulls out gun}Hold still.

SEPHIROTH: Good thing he can't feel. But don't harm my CURRY!!!

{CC's robot wheels under the hologram generator pushes him to a pod. He uses robot arms to open it.

REMOLAY: How?

Inside is a malfunctioning lawnmower}

CC: Some day, I'll get my revenge.

USERUNKNOWN:How did he get to be captain, Chaos?

CHAOS: Let me take out your jugular, and I'll tell you!

REMOLAY: Okay just one question. What?

USERUNKNOWN:Let me remove your life and soul first.

CHAOS: Oh, they're in glass jars in my room. Now, everyone to the meeting table!

{They all press buttons and teleport to the meeting room, with a round table, but their haeds are on backwards, like in Spaceballs.}

SIRRUS: heads
REMOLAY: *Flips coin* No, sorry it came up haeds

CHAOS: Oh, dear. Everyone port back!

{Everyone teleports back, and just walks into the next room via the door, and sits at the table.}

REMOLAY: I think I need to teach you the difference between homage and direct ripoff

CHAOS: Good news everyone! I've invented a french-speaking ninja chimp!

CC: Oh boy.

CHAOS: The problem is... it's really small.

{Chaos puts a cage the size of a coffee mug on the table. A ninja monkey is inside.}

MONKEY:{irish accent} Oy, this is a mighty predicament I've gotten meself into!

CHAOS: And I could only make give him an irish accent.

{CC waves his hand through the cage}

CC: What you gonna' do about this?

CHAOS: The monkey? Eh, I'll probably just scrap him and reuse the vital organs tha I don't damage.

SEPHIROTH: Or, you could throw him in the room of.... THE WIBBLES!!

CHAOS: No, I fed them on my way to the bridge.

{GIM2-B4RD walks in.}

GIM2-B4RD: {sounding really depressed} Hey guys. Looks like the Wibbles need feeding again.

REMOLAY: How stupidly convenient.

They almost tore off my leg.

{Zoom in on GIM2's leg where a few circuits are poking out from where the leg is connected to the main body. Zoom back out.}

SEPHIROTH: The Wibbles always attack Robots. They think they're made of Candy. For Humans, they're okay. Like me! {Gets Wibble, which Purrs.}

{OOC: In this, Sephiroth is human. This is an Alternate Universe altogether.}

REMOLAY: We can kind of just assume this here. That was pointless.

GIM2: Lucky for you. Starting up tagline program...

{Lights on GIM2 start flashing and beeping noises start coming from him. After a few seconds, it stops and GIM2's eyes turn red.}

GIM2: {robotic voice} Gee I Am Too BoReD.

{GIM2's eyes go back to their normal colour of bright blue.}

{OOC: Yes, they're blue. - Znex}

GIM2: {normal voice; ie. depressed} Now, thanks to my programming, I now have to ask if you would all like a drink.

SEPHIROTH: Nah, I'm alright. I've had my share of liquor.

GIM2: Thank goodness I don't have to get that drink thing out. It's so cumbersome. By the way, what course are we set on?

SEPHIROTH: No idea. I'll have a look. {Looks on monitor. It is going towards a planet made of Titanium.} Titanius 14. Wanna go on it?

USERUNKNOWN:Hmmmmm....what's the pizza like there?

GIM2: Don't bother asking, there is no pizza. It's just made of titanium. Space pilots often stop by these planets to collect titanium for their ships. There is the Titanius Refill Station which is currently orbiting Titanius Prime, or Titanius 1, but there's no pizza.

SEPHIROTH: But, they have a fun minecart ride!

USERUNKNOWN: No, let us not go there.

SEPHIROTH: Lemme think... {5 Minutes Later, and Sephiroth kicks Userunknown in the crotch.} Nope, we're going. We running low on Titanium for many uses, including Chaos's Suspicious Experiments, The Ship's Supply, Food for the Wibbles, Upgrades for GIM2, and weapons for me. {Cut to the ship landing on the planet.}

USERUNKNOWN: Ha ha, I'm wearing armor. {Pulls out a gun and aims at Sephiroth} For that, you gotta get me ammo and a space ship.

SEPHIROTH: No. And if you shoot me, you'll face the ultimate penalty. Murder of the Captain, followed by Death by Firing Squad, and hanging. Now. {Grabs gun, and throws it into space.}

USERUNKNOWN: Uh-oh {Gun explodes, almost destroying the engines} Wow.

{GIM2 sighs and walks over to the engines.}

GIM2: Another explosion, another repair.

{GIM2 gets out a sonic screwdriver and starts fixing the engines.}

USERUNKNOWN:Okay, let's go to Titanius after the repairs are done{ooc:Do you think this is a good time to end the episode?}

{OOC: It's still pretty short. Maybe after like 10 more lines.}

SEPHIROTH: Well, let's go on the minecart! {Hops onto the minecart.}

{OOC:Can most of the episodes from now start in the meeting room, With Chaos exhibiting a new creation, like in Futurama?}

{OOC: Sure!}

USERUNKNOWN:Uh, no thanks.I'll go and look at the hanger.

{CC drives the robot body until he falls in the minecart}

CC: ROAD TRIP! ROAD TRIP!

{Everyone else hops in the minecart, and through the tunnel is Chaos' laboratory. He is currently doing something that nobody can see, because he's hunched over, and he does not hear them enter.}

USERUNKNOWN:{Off screen}Are you okay down there?

CHAOS: What? Who said that! Oh! Good1 I wanted to show you all what I just made! It's the cure for any disease ever made!

{Chaos holds up a chicken drumstick.}

CHAOS: I'm currently working on a version that can play music, too!

USERUNKNOWN:{Still off screen, he is not in the room}What did you say?

CHAOS: {Speaking into the drumstick} I SAID I MADE A CURE FOR ALL DISEASES! IT WILL SOON BE ABLE TO PLAY MUSIC, TOO!

{ooc:10 more lines!Let's end the episode!}

REMOLAY: Why didn't you guys use the talk page?

USERUNKNOWN:That drumstick?

{Pans to Chaos, who has eaten the drumstick.}

CHAOS: Oh. Yeah. That was the cure. Well, alls terrible that ends terrible!

THE END