Difference between revisions of "Raggon's World/Lex"

Latest revision as of 21:41, 11 September 2013

{Cut to a basement somewhere, horribly made to look like a studio. Raggonix is behind a $50 camera, filming.}

RAGGON: Welcome to...THE RAGGON SHOW. It's that super cool hip YOUTUBE SHOW. Super groovy. Now, let's rip off what Daily Show does..

{Raggon looks through notes.}

RAGGON: These are all bullshit. Raggonix, bring out the guest.

{Raggonix opens a small trunk, lifting out...LEX!. Lex is then ductaped to a wheely chair, and pushed aside Raggonix.}

LEX: LET ME GO YOU MONGRELS.

RAGGON: Isn't he a joker? Hahaha...Lex, why did you sign up to be on my show today?

LEX: I DIDN'T. I came to buy that used car!

RAGGON: Whatever. What are your favorite hobbies?

LEX: I REFUSE TO TALK TO YOU UNTIL YOU UNTIE ME YOU FAT BASTARD

{Raggonix waves a shiv in Lex's face, and then cuts the rope. Lex proceeds to drop kick him, until Raggon sits on him.}

RAGGON: I ASKED A QUESTION. DO I LOOK LIKE A BITCH TO YOU?

LEX: We-

RAGGON: I SAID, DO I LOOK LIKE A BITCH TO YOU?

LEX: NO SIR.

RAGGON: NOW ANSWER THE DAMN QUESTION, CLARENCE.

{He gets off Lex, who sits down in the chair, sore from being squashed by an air-man recolor.}

LEX: Ugh, fine. If I answer your fucking questions, will you let me go?

RAGGON: ...Maybe.

LEX: What was the question again?

RAGGON: Your hobbies. What are they?

LEX: Well, um... I do freelance computer designing sometimes, completing random tasks for people online who hardly know how to pick up a mouse, sometimes I teach children at the community Sunday school, and whenever I have free time, I like to volunteer at the homeless soup kitchen. You see, I care for disadvantaged in our society, I believe that they should all be given cha-... What are you doing?

{Pan over to reveal that Raggon is suddenly making out with a hooker while Lex is talking to him.}

RAGGON: Wait, what? What was that? Sorry, I was too busy getting some.

LEX: This is fucking ridiculous, I'm outta here.

{Lex gets up to leave, but Raggonix points a revolver at him.}

RAGGONIX: No no no. You stay right there, where he wants you to be.

LEX: THIS IS FUCKING STUPID.

RAGGON: Meh, I'm bored with him. Just kill him, Raggonix.

RAGGONIX: Uh..the revolver is empty. I was just trying to scare him.

{Lex glares at them, and suddenly tackles Raggonix. Raggon tries to grab him, but Lex suplexes him, and runs upstairs. Raiku is there, playing a 3DS.}

LEX: WHICH WAY IS THE FUCKING EXIT?

{Raiku points for the front door}

RAIKU: That way, have a nice day.

{Lex escapes as Raggon and Raggonix cry and eat ice cream. Later, all evidence of the crime magically vanishes.}

RAGGON: Well, that's boring. Let's get pizza.

RAGGON: YAY!

Fin.