Difference between revisions of "Wikihood/eps/11"

Latest revision as of 13:05, 8 May 2019

Summary

• Noelle is introduced through small snippets of her "everyday" life.
• Despite the objections of his friends, Chaos decides to follow through with going out with Noelle for apartment hunting.
• The DuTempi mafia canvasses the entirety of Townindale to search for Lex & Chaos.
• The mobsters catch wise to Chaos' presence, and catch using a swarm of cockroaches.
• Lex gets accosted, by people who think he still sells ice cream. He disappoints them.
• Noelle tries alerting authorities, but cellphone reception is jammed.
• Noelle is picked up by Lex in the ice cream truck.
• Both Lex & Noelle fend off some of the DuTempi mafia while on the road.

Transcript

{The scene begins in Town Hall. Noelle is at her desk, taking the occasional secretary role when not on the computer trying to manage the Mayor's doings. The clock turns to the hour. Noelle gets up from her desk, whilst still on the phone.}

NOELLE: Look, I've got to go. I'll see you guys tomorrow; hopefully, you can help teach the Mayor how to use a Windows 10 computer. Farewell.

{Noelle hangs up.}

NOELLE: The Nerd Krewe better show up. They owe me more than just one favour.

{Noelle goes to clock out from her office. Fast-forward to reveal Noelle's high-end apartment. She goes over to her kitchen and turns on a coffee machine.}

NOELLE: {yawns} What a rough day.

{Noelle turns on her high-definition television, then picks up a PlayStation 4 controller and headset. She turns her microphone on.}

NOELLE: 'Sup, playas.

KENDALL: Yo, Noelle! How was work?

NOELLE: Same old, same old. I clocked out late. Again.

KENDALL: Another long day as usual?

NOELLE: Yep. Kind of just glad to be home, really.

KENDALL: Hear about North Syllahona? Apparently, President Kardashian-West is going to a peace summit there.

NOELLE: Bleck, politics. Yes, I saw it all already. My feed was nothing but politics.

KENDALL: Sorry, mate. Thought you might've wanted to hear my two cents on it.

NOELLE: I do, but I need to engage in some Motor Vehicle Theft 6 first. Where 'we dropping? Wizard's Tower?

KENDALL: Wizard's Tower isn't in this one.

NOELLE: I could've sworn it was.

KENDALL: Nah, MVT 6 is only loosely based on Republic Island. One of the only landmarks they didn't make a substitute for is the Clock Museum. Let's drop by there.

{Short pause.}

NOELLE: Alright. Clock Museum it is.

{On-screen, Noelle's avatar drops into the street, right next to a large clock-tower. A secondary avatar drops in next to her's.}

KENDALL: Let's steal some shit!

{The two avatars walk up to a car which is parked in the street and attempt to hijack it. However, a pop-up appears, stating: "Would you like to pay $5 to gain access to the new 2018 Edison Chevalier?"

KENDALL: These microtransactions are getting worse! I swear, this game is becoming unplayable as of late.

NOELLE: Tell me about it.

KENDALL: The last one was much better, in my opinion. Oh yeah, do you have any plans for the coming weekend?

NOELLE: A few plans, yeah. I promised this dude that I'd help him find a new apartment.

{Kendall squeals in delight.}

KENDALL: Ooh, did you get a boyfriend?

NOELLE: No! Not like that! I barely know him! I just... agreed to help him, that's all.

{Suddenly, their two avatars die as the entire map is nuked.}

NOELLE: What?!

KENDALL: Argh, somebody bought the Nuke DLC!

{Cut to the apartment above the Pierogi restaurant. Chaos is all nervous and jittery, while Garfield and Lex are watching him pace around the front room.}

GARFIELD: Chaos, I really don't think it's a good idea to go out tomorrow. There are people looking for you. You need to lay low!

LEX: Ya'd think that'd be the thing he's all shook up about, instead'a meetin' a girl. I mean, ya spent three years in prison!

CHAOS: OH GODS!!

{Chaos panics harder.}

CHAOS: What if she finds out that I went to prison? She might see me as a thug! I can't not tell her, though, because that would be lying and she would find out! But it's not technically lying...

{Lex and Garfield look at each other, confusedly.}

CHAOS: But it's still lying by omission which is the same thing as lying, oh gods, oh gods, oh gods!!

{Lex grabs Chaos by the shoulders and slaps him.}

LEX: Pull ya'self out of ya polytheistic blasphemy, mon! Ya gonna be fine!

CHAOS: I'm fine. I'm fine. I think.

GARFIELD: I think those men were of some organized crime unit. You should not do this, either of you!

LEX: I don't know why ya warnin' us when it was ya gal who tipped that guy off in tha first place!

CHAOS: Wait, what?

{Garfield stands up and throws his arms in the air.}

GARFIELD: I'm not entitled to request Stephanie's assistance with my supervillainy. It would jeopardize the strength of our friendship, maybe even double jeopardize it.

LEX: I don't actually blame ya, mon. Still, we should be fine.

CHAOS: What was this about organized crime?

{Garfield facepalms. Suddenly, the doorbell rings.}

LEX: I'll get it!

{Lex scoots offscreen.}

CHAOS: ...Nevermind. Garfield, ya gotta help me, man. What should I wear? Should I go t-shirt and jeans, or should I wear a button-up shirt? What if she expects me to wear a suit?! Wait- We're only looking at apartments, it's not a date or anything.

GARFIELD: Can't you reschedule it, at least? I could go out and investigate, and see if I can fix this mess, and then going out doesn't risk anything!

CHAOS: Reschedule? And look like some fuckin' loser with cold feet? No way!

{Lex comes back, holding a package that has been hastily wrapped in newspaper and tied together with a string. It is also wet and dripping.}

LEX: Weird. Nobody was at th'door. Did any of ya's order somethin' from the dwarfnet?

CHAOS: Nope.

GARFIELD: I bought some soap opera memorabilia, but it did not look like that.

LEX: Huh. Let's see what's inside.

{Lex sits down and unwraps the package, untying the string and opening the newspaper. It is revealed to be a bundle of fish.}

LEX: Are any'ya sure that ya didn't order fish from the dwarfnet?

GARFIELD: No...

{Everybody looks at each other in confusion. Cut to Rosato, who is parked outside of the restaurant. Giuliano runs out of the building and gets into the car.}

GIULIANO: I did it. I gave 'em the message. Tonight, they will be sleepin' with the fishes.

ROSATO: That's great. Now all we need to do is wait. We'll shadow 'em and nab 'em when they're least expectin' it.

{Giuliano and Rosato drive off. Cut to Noelle at the grocery store, buying some fish.}

NOELLE: It's been a long while since I had swordfish...

{Noelle picks up some swordfish, checking the expiration date.}

NOELLE: Good, I knew this store was the best!

{Noelle looks around. Some men in suits show up, followed by Droll.}

DROLL: Something something blueprints...

{Droll looks at a cue card. Rolling his eyes, he throws the cue card away.}

DROLL: Did the Mayor get involved in any crime recently?

NOELLE: Gods, no. I've been trying to keep him in the straight and narrow.

DROLL: Well, there goes that breadcrumb trail, lads. We'll probably find better luck in the cereal aisle.

{Droll and the men in suits walk offscreen. Noelle feverishly tries to text Mayor Meier. Fast-forward to Noelle in her apartment, talking on her headphone whilst playing on her PS4.}

NOELLE: I think I have time to cook the swordfish tomorrow.

JOAN: Swordfish? What part of Towningdale are you living in again?

NOELLE: Downtown.

JOAN: Oh, okay. So, how did you get an apartment in there?

NOELLE: Battel Tournament prize. It came with a red luxury car.

JOAN: Wait, a legit fighting tournament?

NOELLE: Long story, not worth getting into. I have to wear eyeshadow to mask black eyes.

JOAN: You still have to use makeup?

NOELLE: A lot of gossip goes 'round in Towningdale. Town Hall is not exempt.

{Fast-forward. Noelle eventually gets bored of playing on her PS4, and connects her computer to the monitor. She winds up watching some news - Sarah Khoroushi is hosting.}

KHOROUSHI: Petrobucks' campaign aide is being taken to court over a boat crash incident that killed five and injured twenty people. So far, it looks like the aide is being charged with negligent homicide, and reports indicate that Petrobucks is so enamored with oil companies that his aides are trying to sweep this incident under the rug. More news at-

{Noelle disconnects the monitor to her computer. She then checks the time on the bottom right corner of her screen.}

NOELLE: Wait, yeah, I called for a day off today.

{Noelle gets up, and stretches her arms and legs.}

NOELLE: {yawns} Time for my morning walk, I guess?

{Fast-forward to Noelle in a change of clothes, to something more casual as she heads towards the park. She spots Stephanie sitting on a park bench with a vanilla latte.}

NOELLE: Yo, Latte-Girl!

{Stephanie blinks, then looks at Noelle with lowered eyelids.}

STEPHANIE: It's Stephanie.

NOELLE: Sorry, I keep forgetting.

{Stephanie warily sips her latte.}

NOELLE: Hey, so... how've things been? Kinda haven't seen you in a while.

STEPHANIE: Work's been kicking me in the balls.

NOELLE: You, too?

STEPHANIE: I've been keeping up with the news and trying to carry all of Republic Island on my back.

NOELLE: Wouldn't your spine fold like origami?

STEPHANIE: Not if I mix this vanilla latte with some hard-ass scotch, a chocolate milkshake...

NOELLE: Needed to mix all the desserts?

{Stephanie blinks, then downs her entire latte.}

NOELLE: Damn, girl. It's not even six in the morning!

{Stephanie does a backflip off the bench, landing on the grass.}

STEPHANIE: I've been up since 3:00 AM trying to evade anxiety problems.

{Short pause.}

NOELLE: ...I'm not sure mixing scotch with coffee helps with that, really.

STEPHANIE: Have you even met my boss?

NOELLE: Well, I-

{Stephanie shoots Noelle a hard look.}

NOELLE: ...no.

STEPHANIE: I've had one long morning.

{Stephanie lifts up her left hand, revealing that it's been bandaged since her last appearance.}

STEPHANIE: I punched a tree.

NOELLE: Uhm-

{Noelle looks dumbfounded.}

STEPHANIE: Look, I gotta jet. Those breakfast pierogis aren't going to get themselves.

{Stephanie runs offscreen.}

NOELLE: Cool, yet aloof. I wonder if-

{Noelle strokes her own chin.}

NOELLE: She didn't specify where she was getting pierogis... though that does narrow it down to... ten? Ten places?

{Noelle walks in a different direction from Stephanie. The camera focuses on Stephanie, as she bumps into Leigh again.}

STEPHANIE: Whoops, sorry-

{Leigh and Stephanie freeze as they look at each other. A few seconds later, Leigh picks up his luggage and proceeds onward.}

LEIGH: My mistake. I should have watched where I was going.

{Stephanie catches up with Leigh.}

STEPHANIE: What are you-

LEIGH: I'm moving out of my old apartment today. Gordon and I were going to meet for pierogis.

STEPHANIE: What a serendipity. I, too, seek pierogis.

LEIGH: Yeah. Turns out that my life is still going pretty well since your boss got me fired.

STEPHANIE: I'm sorry about that, I...

LEIGH: I'm not blaming you. Though don't get me wrong, your boss is doing a good job at making enemies.

STEPHANIE: I know.

{Zoom out to reveal Gordon's moped fast approaching Leigh and Stephanie as they are walking through Downtown Towningdale.}

GORDON: Oi, Claymore! Sorry it took me longer t'get 'ere, I kept gettin' cut off by these black cars which are all around the city.

{A nervous look appears on Stephanie's face at the sound of "black cars" as she backs away.}

GORDON: Ye' gonna hop on? It ain't too far from 'ere. If I'm gonna 'elp ye pack, ye' bet I'm gonnae get some fud in me' belly first!

LEIGH: Of course! Right behind you!

{Leigh gets on the back of the moped. He sees Stephanie, who is creeping away.}

LEIGH: Hey, weren't you going to the same place?

GORDON: Ah, if ye' wanna join us, y'can! Hop on, if we squeeze together enough, we could get three people on 'ere!

STEPHANIE: Uhh- Yeah, I just realized that I had something to do.

LEIGH: Really? That's a shame. See ya!

{Gordon and Leigh scoot off, leaving Stephanie behind.}

STEPHANIE: I'm really starting to question my own life choices lately...

{Cut to the apartment. Lex and Garfield are still in the living room as Chaos emerges from his bedroom, dressed in jeans and a white button-up shirt, with his tweed jacket over it. He pulls out a pipe from his pocket and sticks it in his mouth.}

CHAOS: Well? How do I look?

GARFIELD: You look like my grandpa.

CHAOS: What?

LEX: Yeah, mon. What ya wearing... it's stylish, don't get me wrong. But stylish durin' the Great Depression, y'know?

{Chaos scoffs.}

CHAOS: You two wouldn't know style if it punched you in the face!

LEX: Hey, if you like it, it's good.

CHAOS: She told me to meet her outside the Town Hall building around one, and it is...

{Chaos looks at his watch.}

CHAOS: Five minutes until one, FUCK, I'M GONNA BE LATE! I GOTTA GO, GOTTA GO... SHIT, SHIT, SHIT!

{Lex walks up to Chaos.}

LEX: Don't ya worry ya little head. I'll drive ya there. We'll make it in no-time, flat!

CHAOS: Oh gods, thank you, man!

{Cut to Lex driving Chaos through the busy traffic in his ice-cream machine, paying no regard to street signs or traffic lights.}

CHAOS: I appreciate you doing this for me, but I'm pretty sure you just ran a red light.

LEX: Nah, mon. Emergency vehicles are exempt.

CHAOS: Lex, it's an ice-cream truck.

LEX: Ice-cream is always an emergency, mon.

{Cut to the area outside of Town Hall. Chaos spots Noelle sitting on the steps while listening to her MP3 player. Lex is about to park in front of the building, but Chaos stops him.}

CHAOS: Just drop me off here, my guy.

LEX: What, afraid that I'll embarrass ya?

CHAOS: No, of course not! I just... figured that I need some exercise. Stretch my legs, y'know?

LEX: I gotcha mon.

{Chaos gets out of the truck.}

CHAOS: I owe you for this, Lex.

LEX: Hey, don't mention it. I'll keep a close watch on ya.

{Lex and Chaos give each other thumbs up. Chaos walks over to Noelle, who doesn't see him. He awkwardly stands around before he gently taps her on the shoulder. Noelle grabs his wrist and squeezes it hard, but lets go when she notices that it's him. She takes her earphones out.}

NOELLE: Hey, you made it!

{Chaos rubs his wrist, trying not to show his pain.}

CHAOS: Haha, yeah...

NOELLE: I am so sorry about that! I've been taking self-defense classes, and it happened automatically, I'm-

CHAOS: No no, it's fine. Self-defense is good. What kind? Karate? Tae-kwon-do?

NOELLE: Krav Maga.

CHAOS: Nice, nice.

NOELLE: I found a few listings online. You said you wanted somewhere close to where your friends live, right?

CHAOS: Yeah, but closer to Downtown. Mid-range price.

NOELLE: Awesome! I'll show you what I've seen so far, come!

{Noelle grabs Chaos' wrist and walks off, with Chaos' trailing behind her. Cut to Katyusha's.}

VOLKOV: Chefs glad you came back!

LEIGH: I'm glad Chefs enjoy my presence.

VOLKOV: Pierogi restaurant guaranteed sanctuary.

GORDON: Erm, sanctuary?

LEIGH: This is where I'm gonna live. Well.

{Leigh points up.}

LEIGH: Upstairs.

GORDON: 'Yer livin' at a pierogi restaurant? Ach, does that mean ya can get me free food?

VOLKOV: Don't push it.

GORDON: Sorry.

LEIGH: On that note, though, we'd like to get some pierogis to go. We wanna fill up, before we-

{Volkov immediately pulls out a large bag of pierogies.}

LEIGH: Wow. That was quick.

VOLKOV: I had them ready in advance.

{Volkov walks offscreen.}

LEIGH: ...well, I had intent to buy some new furniture, since I just got the last of my belongings here.

{Gordon cocks a brow.}

GORDON: Ye should probably take a breather. Mebbe the pierogies'll help.

VOLKOV: Online shopping is what I suggest.

{Short pause.}

LEIGH: Good idea.

{Gordon and Leigh both eat a lot of pierogies. Cut back to Lex, in his ice cream truck. The hipsters from Surreal Cereals show up, with one of them texting on their phone.}

LEX: I'm sorry, I-

{Texting Hipster shows their phone, which has the message, "Do you actually sell ice cream?"}

LEX: I used to. That was a long time ago.

{Texting Hipster shakes their head, and continues texting.}

OTHER HIPSTER: So what... you just hog all the ice cream for yourself now?

LEX: Nah mon, no ice cream. Got a couple a birds in here, though.

OTHER HIPSTER: Woah, man. We just wanted to ask about ice cream, not your personal life.

{The hipsters leave in disgust. Lex turns to yell to the back of the truck}

LEX: I told ya no one wanted to see birds in an ice cream truck! Outta here, the both of ya!

{The back of the ice cream truck suddenly pops open as two pigeons fly out}

LEX: Thought I'd never be rid of them...

{Gunshots can be heard, which cause the pigeons to fall not far from the ice cream truck. Then, several mobsters in suits arrive, with baseball bats and automatic firearms. They steadily approach Lex's ice cream truck.}

GUILIANO: I told you we hit the jackpot by scopin' out that truck!

LEX: Ah, shi-

{Lex looks into the back of his truck and sees a bazooka. He is about to reach for it, until Rosato appears in front of the counter.}

ROSATO: Y'ain't plannin' on leavin' anytime soon, are's ya?

LEX: Ya' plan on usin' anymore apostrophe's in ya speech there, ya'?

ROSATO: A wise guy, huh?

LEX: Mamma told me I got me' humor from my pa.

{Rosato looks at Lex and squints. Lex squints back. Tense atmosphere as Rosato puts his hand into his suit. Lex looks back at the bazooka in the truck. Suddenly, Rosato pulls out a large clip of bills and slams it on the counter.}

ROSATO: Me and the guys need a pick-me-up. A couple dozen ice-creams, would'ja?

LEX: I don't have no ice-cream, mon. I'm, uh... fresh out.

{Guiliano appears next to Rosato.}

GUILIANO: WHATT'YA MEAN YA HAVE NO ICE-CREAM?

LEX: I don't have no ice-cream, mon.

ROSATO: That's ridiculous! Why would 'ya have no ice-cream?

GUILIANO: 'Ow about a Strawberry Twist?

LEX: No ice-cream, mon.

ROSATO: A Minty Macarena?

LEX: I ain't got no ice-cream, mon.

{Cut to Chaos and Noelle, who are being shown around an apartment by the landlord, a sweaty, fat and bald man in a 1920s-style suit.}

LANDLORD: This apartment is near Townindale's Business District, and only a five-minute walk from the glitzy Entertainment District! For $900 a month, this place is a steal!

CHAOS: So far, so good. Yo, you mind if I use the washroom?

LANDLORD: Not at all!

CHAOS: Thanks!

{Chaos walks through the bathroom door. As he looks around in the bathroom, he notices the tap of the sink is shaking.}

CHAOS: Wha-?

{Chaos turns the faucet, and suddenly a massive rush of cockroaches pour out of the tap. The sight of the roaches causes Chaos to turn blue. Cut back to Lex and the mobsters. Lex is visibly exhausted.}

GUILIANO: How about a Salted Caramel Charleston?

{Lex sighs.}

LEX: No ice-cream, mon. I ain't got no ice-cream, mon.

ROSATO: You must have a Chocolate Conga, right?

LEX: LION OF JUDAH, NO CHOCOLATE CONGA. I AIN'T GOT NO ICE-CREAM, MON. MON, NO ICE-CREAM!

GUILIANO: Are ya tryin' to tell us you ain't got no ice-cream?

LEX: How can ya people be so thick?

{Suddenly, a shrill and high-pitched scream can be heard from the apartment complex that Chaos and Noelle are in. Lex, Rosato, and Guiliano all turn their heads.}

ROSATO: On second thought, we don't need any of ya damn ice-cream anyway! I bet it tastes like mud!

GUILIANO: Ye, my nonna makes better ice-cream than ya, anyways!

{Rosato, Guiliano, and the rest of the mobsters run towards the apartment complex. Cut to Chaos and Noelle leaving through the front doors. Noelle is laughing. Chaos is red-faced.}

CHAOS: I'm sorry, so so sorry. I just- I just have bad experiences with cockroaches. My college roommate used to-

NOELLE: It's fine. Have you considered singing opera, by any chance?

{Chaos chuckles.}

NOELLE: At least we got out of there before the guy could charge us for the broken windows.

{Pan over to the other side of the two, as Noelle pulls out her phone.}

NOELLE: Let's see, next up is the "Green Grass Manor." The complex apparently even has a view of the ocean that's highly visible at high tides!

CHAOS: Does it have roaches?

NOELLE: I don't know; I hope not. It's only a block away from my place, though! Come on, let's go!

{Noelle grabs Chaos' wrist and drags him off-screen. Focus on the bushes behind the two to reveal several pairs of eyes. Cut back to Lex, who pulls the truck out from the driveway to follow Chaos and Noelle. Zoom out further to reveal speeding black cars also moving in Chaos and Noelle's direction. Cut to Leigh hanging out with Garfield at their apartment. Leigh is sitting on the couch.}

LEIGH: So, you're telling me I have to sleep on this couch?

GARFIELD: Yeaaaah... this place isn't all that big, and neither Lex and I have space to share our rooms. I'm really sorry-

LEIGH: It's so comfy!!

{Leigh lies down.}

LEIGH: I got my old bed off the street, and before that, I was kinda sleeping rough, so this is really good!

GARFIELD: O-oh. I'm glad.

{Leigh feels around the bed and notices something. He pulls out a mouldy cheeto.}

GARFIELD: Yikes, it looks like Chaos left a souvenir. Sorry about that!

LEIGH: Oh, that's fine. My old place had rats. This is a real step up.

GARFIELD: We get mice sometimes.

{Garfield gestures to a hole in the wall near the floor. Zoom in to reveal a colony of mice in the wall, operating a tiny shoe factory to soviet music. A small tank drives by the factory as a red flag flies proudly. Cut back to Garfield and Leigh.}

GARFIELD: They've recently unionized.

LEIGH: Still an improvement!

{Short pause.}

GARFIELD: Wait, wh-

LEIGH: The rats ran a protection racket.

{Cut to a clean and modern-looking apartment complex. Giuliano and Rosato are inside, and Giuliano is now dressed in a grey suit that is several sizes too small, revealing his large gut.}

ROSATO: Lookin' good, man!

GIULIANO: It's a little tight! Why didn't ya wear it?

ROSATO: Ehhhh, grey ain't my color. What do ya think?

{Pan over to the closet, revealing a man in his underwear who has been tied up, with ducttape over his mouth. He makes muffled cries of panic.}

ROSATO: Ah, everybody's a critic!

{Rosato slams the closet door as the doorbell rings. Rosato slaps Giuliano on the back.}

ROSATO: You got this, big boy!

{Giuliano nods as Rosato hides offscreen. Giuliano walks over to the door of the suite and opens it to greet Chaos and Noelle.}

GIULIANO: You must be..

{Giuliano looks at his hand.}

GIULIANO: Fenix Aberax! It is good to meet you!

{Giuliano holds his hand out. Chaos shakes his hand, while Noelle, with an eyebrow raised, politely declines.}

CHAOS: It's Felix, but you can call me Chaos.

{Noelle looks at her phone screen, and back at Giuliano.}

NOELLE: You look... different from the picture.

GIULIANO: I- uh... lost weight.

{Pan over to Noelle's phone, showing a much skinnier man. Muffled sounds can be heard from the closet as Giuliano stands in front of it and kicks it from behind. He puts his arm out to welcome the two into the apartment.}

GIULIANO: Please, let me show ya's-... you all around!

{Noelle and Chaos step inside and observes the apartment.}

CHAOS: It's pretty nice. You don't have roaches, do you?

ROSATO: {Muffled, from distance} What kind of question is that?!

NOELLE: Who was that?

{Noelle steps forward to look around. Giuliano steps in front of her.}

GIULIANO: It was... uh... the personal assistant. Yes! Ashur! Play us a song!

ROSATO: {muffled} Now playing.. uh..

{Top of the World, by the Carpenters plays, obviously from somebody's phone speakers.}

CHAOS: Wow, Noelle! This place even has its own personal sound system!

NOELLE: Yeah...

GIUILIANO: C'mon, lemme show you guys around!

{Giuliano escorts Noelle and Chaos throughout the Green Grass Manor. Cue a montage, showing Giuliano's comic attempts at looking like a proper real estate agent being met with Chaos being wowed by the Manor, and Noelle cocking a brow at everything the 'agent' says. Eventually, they return to the front of the apartment.}

CHAOS: Wow, this is perf-

{Before Chaos can finish his sentence, a swarm of locusts, cockroaches, and other insects abducts him.}

GIULIANO: Ashur, we've got a problem-

ROSATO: {muffled} WHAT?! WHAT HAPP-

NOELLE: Oh, you've got to be-

{The swarm increases in size, abducting Giuliano as well. It eventually absconds through a window, much to Noelle's confusion.}

NOELLE: Um-

{Noelle sees everything through another window, which has Rosato jumping in to fight the swarm in mid-air. Promptly, Noelle tries to call 911.}

FIRST RESPONDER: This is 911, please state your emergency.

{Noelle takes a deep breath.}

NOELLE: One of my friends got caught in a swarm of locusts and other similar insects, which looks to be remotely controlled by an outside source. It's also taken two other people.

FIRST RESPONDER: Alright, and where did this take place?

NOELLE: Green Grass Apartments.

{Static sounds.}

FIRST RESPONDER: I'm sorry, ma'am. I did not catch that.

NOELLE: Green. Grass. Apart...

{More static sounds. The line drops. Noelle looks at her phone and sees a low signal.}

NOELLE: Note to self: change my cell provider.

{Cut to the exterior of the apartment, as Noelle runs out of the front doors. Lex parks in front of her with the ice-cream truck.}

LEX: Hop in! We gotta do some chasin'!

NOELLE: Wait, didn't I buy a mattress from you once? Actually, nevermind.

{Noelle moves to the back of the truck and is about to step in, but she stops herself.}

NOELLE: No, I am not going to step into a random stranger's ice-cream truck. Who are you?

LEX: I'm one of Chaos' friends! Get in!

NOELLE: I am so confused right now!!!

{As Noelle steps into the back, a bullet flies next to her head and hits the truck. She jumps in and slams the doors. More bullets hit as Lex looks out of his rearview mirror and sees two mafia cars approaching.}

LEX: Hold on, missy. This is going to be a bumpy ride.

{Lex pushes his foot to the pedal as the Green Hornet theme begins to play, indicating a car chase. The ice-cream truck follows the swarm in the air at full speed while completely disregarding the traffic. Following the truck are the two cars. Noelle crawls to the front of the truck.}

NOELLE: 'Mind explaining what the hell is going on right now?

LEX: It's a cah chase, mon. Can ya do me a favor?

NOELLE: What?!

{Lex points to a bazooka which is lying in the back of the truck.}

LEX: Use the bazooka. Blow 'em sky high!

NOELLE: A bazooka!? That's just reckless!

LEX: Relax! It follows the law of cartoon physics. It'll be fine.

NOELLE: If you say so.

{Noelle crawls back to the truck and picks the bazooka up. She opens the back doors and points it to the two cars.}

NOELLE: Here goes-

{Noelle closes her eyes and winces as she fires a rocket at the two cars, causing them to explode in a gigantic mushroom cloud. She throws the bazooka down and gasps.}

NOELLE: Oh my god, I killed them!

LEX: Nah, ya didn't. Cartoon physics.

{Pan over to the two cars, which have been reduced to their frames. The occupants have turned black and ashy, and have smoke billowing them their hair. One of them shakes his head and blinks.}

GANGSTER: Ahhhh, phooey.

{Cut back to Noelle. She looks at the bazooka and finds that it's manufactured by the Acme Corporation. Lex looks back.}

LEX: I got that thing from a Looney Tunes convention. Happened upon it completely out of chance, after I took a wrong turn at Albuquerque.

{Noelle crawls back to the front and gets in the second seat.}

NOELLE: Thanks for picking me up. How did you know we were there?

LEX: Chaos gets himself into dumb situations all the time.

NOELLE: I'm starting to see that.

{Noelle's eyelids lower.}

NOELLE: Would you mind explaining what the hell is going on?

LEX: Ah, yah. We ran afoul of the mafia somehow. Dumb situations, y'know?

NOELLE: The Mafia?! What? I thought Felix was a-

{Noelle ponders for a moment, gazing out the window instead.}

NOELLE: ...actually, I don't think he told me his occupation. What even happened?

LEX: We went all Robin Hood and stuff on that D'Arque guy, and I think he must have set the Mafia on us.

{Noelle's expression indicates she is awestruck.}

NOELLE: That was you guys?

{After a while, her expression normalizes. Her eyes show concern on her face.}

NOELLE: You know I work for the city government, right?

{Lex laughs.}

LEX: Oh man, Chaos is gonna be so mad...

NOELLE: Why would you tell me that?!

LEX: You asked me what's goin' on. Did you expect me to lie t'ya?

NOELLE: I know I didn't expect you to confess to a felony.

LEX: Chaos wanted me to keep quiet about it, but I ain't a good liar.

NOELLE: I don't think that helps at all!

LEX: Plus, y'know in those movies and TV shows where one guy is keepin' a secret, and there's a whole bunch'a drama and tension over it, and then the girl finds out and is all like, "I can't believe you lied to me," yadda yadda Babylon bullshit? I hate that stuff. Hate it.

{Noelle pauses.}

NOELLE: I appreciate that you've cleared the air. That D'Arque guy is a prick, anyway.

LEX: Eyy, that's the spirit! Now let's save his hide!

{Zoom out to show the truck moving out of Downtownindale. The episode ends.}