(even if you aren't vegan)
Difference between revisions of "Multiverse Adventures!/One"
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Kryxl eats his breakfast and gets dressed, putting on his repair uniform. What should he do first for the day? | Kryxl eats his breakfast and gets dressed, putting on his repair uniform. What should he do first for the day? | ||
| − | >suck his own penis | + | '''>suck his own penis''' |
| − | >and then explode | + | '''>and then explode''' |
Sadly, Kryxl's penis was lost in a tragic scuba diving accident, so, while he tries, he fails. | Sadly, Kryxl's penis was lost in a tragic scuba diving accident, so, while he tries, he fails. | ||
| − | >go to work | + | '''>go to work''' |
That's boring. But okay! | That's boring. But okay! | ||
| Line 17: | Line 17: | ||
He notices there's a broken wire, that needs patching. GASP! He looks into his bag. Inside he has a lunchbox, his tools, and a knife. | He notices there's a broken wire, that needs patching. GASP! He looks into his bag. Inside he has a lunchbox, his tools, and a knife. | ||
| − | >If he stops he'll be late! fix the wire. | + | '''>If he stops he'll be late! fix the wire.''' |
Kryxl pulls out some extra wiring and some futuristic alien glue stuff, and glues the wire back together! Good as new! | Kryxl pulls out some extra wiring and some futuristic alien glue stuff, and glues the wire back together! Good as new! | ||
| Line 27: | Line 27: | ||
He could go get more wire, or maybe talk to a superior? | He could go get more wire, or maybe talk to a superior? | ||
| − | >abandon ship | + | '''>abandon ship''' |
Kryxl contemplates abandoning ship, before realizing, that the ship is in the middle of unidentified space. If he abandoned, well, he has no where to go. | Kryxl contemplates abandoning ship, before realizing, that the ship is in the middle of unidentified space. If he abandoned, well, he has no where to go. | ||
| Line 33: | Line 33: | ||
Also, he doesn't know how to fly a drop pod, so. | Also, he doesn't know how to fly a drop pod, so. | ||
| − | > | + | What should he do? |
| + | |||
| + | '''>Call for back up!''' | ||
| + | |||
| + | Kryxl grabs his radio, and calls for backup. | ||
| + | |||
| + | "SIR! THE SHIPS GOING TO CRASH! THE WIRES ARE DESTROYED!" | ||
| + | |||
| + | "This isn't one of your 'boy cried space dragon' stories, is it? Look, if you keep this up-" | ||
| + | |||
| + | "BUT SIR-" | ||
| + | |||
| + | "NO BUTS, KRYXL. NOW GET BACK TO WORK AND LEAVE US ALONE WITH YOUR TALL TALES.". | ||
| + | |||
| + | It probably doesn't help that Kryxl thought space dragons were attacking once because the fridge was out of ice. | ||
| + | |||
| + | So, help is out of the question..you'll need to figure out what is going all by yourself! Booo! | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''>Contemplate your vowel-less name''' | ||
| + | |||
| + | Kryxl takes a second, to contemplate his name. Wait, WAIT | ||
| + | |||
| + | Y COUNTS AS A VOWEL SOMETIMES, YOU FUCKER. | ||
| + | |||
| + | I MEAN IT'S CLOSE ENOUGH RIGHT. | ||
| + | |||
| + | KRYXL HAS A PERFECTLY ACCEPTABLE ALIEN NAME YOU FUCKCUNT. | ||
| + | |||
| + | FUCK YOU. | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''>Go to work!''' | ||
| + | |||
| + | Kryxl goes to wo- wait | ||
| + | |||
| + | OH SHIT | ||
| + | |||
| + | TIME LOOP | ||
| + | |||
| + | suddenly Kryxl finds himself in the Paleolithic era. | ||
| + | |||
| + | WHAT SHOULD HE DO AAAAAH | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''>Open the Door''' | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''>Get on the Floor''' | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''>Walk the Dinosaur''' | ||
| + | |||
| + | Kryxl does that and.. | ||
| + | |||
| + | gets spears tossed at by Neanderthals | ||
| + | |||
| + | OH SHIT | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''====''' | ||
| + | |||
| + | KRYXL IS SURROUNDED AND LOOKS LIKE PREY, TIME FOR A PUZZLE | ||
| + | |||
| + | There are seven Neanderthals. Three in front, three in back, and one next to him. OR SOMEHTHING. | ||
| + | |||
| + | WHAT SHOULD KRYXL DO | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''>Breed with the Neanderthals and create a new species''' | ||
| + | |||
| + | Due to Kryxl not having a penis, he instead sprouts a vagina and creates... | ||
| + | |||
| + | THE NEANDERVLRGLRGLRGL. | ||
| + | |||
| + | Or Dave, as it is called in his local language. | ||
| + | |||
| + | OH GREAT, NOW KRYXL HAS A FUCKING CHILD HE SHOULD HAVE USED BIRTH CONTROL | ||
| + | |||
| + | '''>Say "This means war!" to the neanderthals in your native language''' | ||
Latest revision as of 11:01, 24 September 2013
The year is 32374243, the month of Klrglrg, the 98th day. Kryxl wakes up, and walks in front of the mirror. He's a short blue guy, with tentacles for arms and legs. Neat!
Kryxl eats his breakfast and gets dressed, putting on his repair uniform. What should he do first for the day?
>suck his own penis
>and then explode
Sadly, Kryxl's penis was lost in a tragic scuba diving accident, so, while he tries, he fails.
>go to work
That's boring. But okay!
Kryxl heads down to the lower decks of the ship, passing by various fellow aliens. Alieis? Alienians? Meh.
He notices there's a broken wire, that needs patching. GASP! He looks into his bag. Inside he has a lunchbox, his tools, and a knife.
>If he stops he'll be late! fix the wire.
Kryxl pulls out some extra wiring and some futuristic alien glue stuff, and glues the wire back together! Good as new!
Until he looks deeper into the system. That's not the only wire missing. And he can't fix them all!
Even worse, if this goes unfixed, the entire ship could go haywire!
He could go get more wire, or maybe talk to a superior?
>abandon ship
Kryxl contemplates abandoning ship, before realizing, that the ship is in the middle of unidentified space. If he abandoned, well, he has no where to go.
Also, he doesn't know how to fly a drop pod, so.
What should he do?
>Call for back up!
Kryxl grabs his radio, and calls for backup.
"SIR! THE SHIPS GOING TO CRASH! THE WIRES ARE DESTROYED!"
"This isn't one of your 'boy cried space dragon' stories, is it? Look, if you keep this up-"
"BUT SIR-"
"NO BUTS, KRYXL. NOW GET BACK TO WORK AND LEAVE US ALONE WITH YOUR TALL TALES.".
It probably doesn't help that Kryxl thought space dragons were attacking once because the fridge was out of ice.
So, help is out of the question..you'll need to figure out what is going all by yourself! Booo!
>Contemplate your vowel-less name
Kryxl takes a second, to contemplate his name. Wait, WAIT
Y COUNTS AS A VOWEL SOMETIMES, YOU FUCKER.
I MEAN IT'S CLOSE ENOUGH RIGHT.
KRYXL HAS A PERFECTLY ACCEPTABLE ALIEN NAME YOU FUCKCUNT.
FUCK YOU.
>Go to work!
Kryxl goes to wo- wait
OH SHIT
TIME LOOP
suddenly Kryxl finds himself in the Paleolithic era.
WHAT SHOULD HE DO AAAAAH
>Open the Door
>Get on the Floor
>Walk the Dinosaur
Kryxl does that and..
gets spears tossed at by Neanderthals
OH SHIT
====
KRYXL IS SURROUNDED AND LOOKS LIKE PREY, TIME FOR A PUZZLE
There are seven Neanderthals. Three in front, three in back, and one next to him. OR SOMEHTHING.
WHAT SHOULD KRYXL DO
>Breed with the Neanderthals and create a new species
Due to Kryxl not having a penis, he instead sprouts a vagina and creates...
THE NEANDERVLRGLRGLRGL.
Or Dave, as it is called in his local language.
OH GREAT, NOW KRYXL HAS A FUCKING CHILD HE SHOULD HAVE USED BIRTH CONTROL
>Say "This means war!" to the neanderthals in your native language
