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2008-10-07T20:36:54Z

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== Overview ==
'''Zippy Email #25: diet'''

Zippy gets health-conscious and starts getting into shape. But when can a man get ''too'' healthy?

== Transcript ==

'''ZIPPY:''' ''{to the tune of "Rock this Town"}'' We're gonna check this mail! Check it inside out! Daaaah-nah-nana-nah! ''{opens email}''

<blockquote class="zippycell">
<div>subject: Fatty McFatterson</div>
OH HO HO HO ZIPPY<br/>
YOU'RE LOOKING A LITTLE CHUBBY<br/>
OHOHOHOHOHOH''O''!<br/>
</blockquote>

''{Zippy doesn't read the email. Rather, he just looks at it for a couple seconds. He looks hurt as he scans the email.}''

'''ZIPPY:''' ''{typing}'' You... you think I'm fat? Really? ... No, that can't be! I'm in the best shape of my life!

''{Zoom out. Zippy gets up and looks at himself in a mirror.}''

'''ZIPPY:''' See! These love handles just mean I'm in good shape! Heh... yeah!

''{Pause.}''

'''ZIPPY:''' ''{increasingly panicked}'' I can't be fat! I need to prove this to you all! I'm gonna go out and do some excersise, just to prove you ''all'' wrong!

''{Zippy runs outside.}''

''{Cut: Zippy's Backyard. Zippy is wearing armbands for some reason now. Mitch peeks over his fence.}''

'''ZIPPY:''' Oh, hey, Mitch!

'''MITCH:''' Zippy! You're outside the house! That's a new one.

'''ZIPPY:''' Yeah... I'm just here... doing some excersise.

'''MITCH:''' ... Wow. You're pretty health-conscious now, aren't you?

'''ZIPPY:''' No, not at all! I just... heh, wanted to do some excersises. That's all. Now watch me do some push-ups!

''{Zippy gets on the ground. He tries to lift his body up, but falls back down.}''

'''MITCH:''' ''Nice''.

'''ZIPPY:''' Heh, just a... just a malfunction, I guess! Let me try that again.

''{Zippy tries again, failing like before.}''

'''MITCH:''' I envy you, you know that?

'''ZIPPY:''' Oh, shut up.

'''MITCH:''' Well, try doing some laps! That's a good health indicator if there ever was one.

'''ZIPPY:''' Alright, running! I can do that one!

''{Zippy starts to run. After five or so seconds, he starts to get exhausted. He eventually falls over in fatigue.}''

'''ZIPPY:''' ''{panting}'' I guess... I guess I can't do that one.

'''MITCH:''' Huh. You're out of shape, man.

'''ZIPPY:''' ''{breaking down}'' Oh, don't you think I ''know'' that? I'm a ''wreck''! I can't run, I can't push up, I can't do ''anything'' right any more! I'm ''hideous''!

''{Zippy starts to cry.}''

'''MITCH:''' Wow. I can honestly say I feel sorry for you. ... Listen, I was into bodybuilding back in my high school days, so...

'''ZIPPY:''' ''{suddenly happy}'' You'll teach me how to get in shape?

'''MITCH:''' Yeah... I guess.

'''ZIPPY:''' Oh, ''thank you''!

''{Zippy goes over to Mitch and hugs him.}''

'''ZIPPY:''' You're the ''best'' friend I've ever-

'''MITCH:''' Keep hugging me and the deal is off.

'''ZIPPY:''' ''{lets go}'' Alright, alright. Let's... let's head to the gym, then.

''{Cut: Mitch's gym. Zippy and Mitch are there, in excersise garb.}''

'''ZIPPY:''' You have a ''gym'' in your house?!

'''MITCH:''' Ehh, every so often I like to train. Keeps me healthy.

'''ZIPPY:''' Huh. I really don't know much about you, do I?

'''MITCH:''' Doesn't look like it.

'''ZIPPY:''' So! What should I start with?

'''MITCH:''' Well, obviously, your upper body is in ''dire'' need of training. I mean, you can't even do a push-up!

'''ZIPPY:''' Don't remind me.

'''MITCH:''' For that, I'd recommend the bench press. Lots of help with the deltoids!

'''ZIPPY:''' Yeah... sure. I need more deltoids and altoids anyhow.

''{Zippy walks over to the bench and lies down.}''

'''ZIPPY:''' Okay! I can lie down! This is easy!

'''MITCH:''' Uh... you need to lift the weights.

'''ZIPPY:''' Oh. That's what this is for again.

''{Zippy takes the weights in his hands, lifts up, and stays in the lifting position.}''

'''MITCH:''' Good! You're doing gre-

''{The weights fall and start crushing Zippy.}''

'''MITCH:''' Oh, boy.

'''ZIPPY:''' ''{choking}'' ''A little help''?

'''MITCH:''' Yeah, sure.

''{Mitch lifts the weights with ease off of Zippy and places them back on the bench.}''

'''ZIPPY:''' ''{gasping}'' Oof! That was close!

'''MITCH:''' Zippy, those were only ten pounds. Combined.

'''ZIPPY:''' Yeah, but those things were ''heavy'', man!

'''MITCH:''' ''{sighs}'' How about we try something... less difficult. For you, I mean.

''{Mitch walks Zippy over to a treadmill.}''

'''MITCH:''' Like the treadmill! You can walk, right?

'''ZIPPY:''' Barely. But I'll try--after all, I need to get in shape!

''{Zippy turns the treadmill on. As soon as he puts his feet on it, he is thrown into the wall.}''

'''ZIPPY:''' ''{offscreen}'' My parts!

'''MITCH:''' Maybe putting it on the highest setting wasn't a good idea, Zip.

'''ZIPPY:''' ''{offscreen}'' Well, you ''have'' been right about these things before. Like... all the time.

'''MITCH:''' Let's do something even ''easier''. If there... ''is'' anything easier than walking.

''{Mitch picks up a ball.}''

'''MITCH:''' Here! Try the medicine ball!

'''ZIPPY:''' Aw, heck! I hate medicine. It's so chalky...

'''MITCH:''' N- no. It's just called a medicine ball, Zippy, it's not ''really'' made of- oh, forget it, just catch the ball!

''{Mitch tosses the ball at Zippy, who, while attempting to catch it, is crushed under the weight.}''

'''MITCH:''' Cool. You're doing prett good.

'''ZIPPY:''' Don't... gh- don't rub it in.

''{Zippy tosses the medicine ball off and gets off the floor.}''

'''ZIPPY:''' Listen, Mitch... I was thinking-

'''MITCH:''' That's a new one. Buh-''zing''!

'''ZIPPY:''' ''{frustrated}'' ... but seriously, I don't think the "healthy" lifestyle is for me. It's too painful!

'''MITCH:''' Ehh, it figures. The one time I help you out and you turn me down.

'''ZIPPY:''' Yeah. You're- you're not really helpful.

'''MITCH:''' Yeah, I guess you're right.

''{Pause.}''

'''MITCH:''' If you're not gonna excersise, get out of my house.

'''ZIPPY:''' Can do!

''{Cut: Zippy's Bedroom.}''

'''ZIPPY:''' ''{sighs}'' Looks like I'll never be healthy. Whatevs! That's fine with me!

''{Zippy's ZCell starts ringing.}''

'''ZIPPY:''' Oh, hey! New email!

<blockquote class="zippycell">
<div>subject: healthy</div>
Dear Zippy,<br>
How do you stay so darn healthy all the time?<br>
Are you a health nut?<br>
''-LD''</blockquote>

'''ZIPPY:''' ''{typing}'' You know what, Elldy? No. I'm not! ''{speaking}'' So that's it for today! Tune in next time, all y'alls!

{{EmailZippy}}

Zippy Emails/emails/25 - Revision history

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