JCM: removing originals and adding new parody

2022-04-11T15:59:39Z

removing originals and adding new parody

JCM: /* Rabies */ or make anything im saying understandable

2011-02-28T00:14:50Z

‎Rabies: or make anything im saying understandable

New page

''It seems today that all you see'' 
''Is postmodern humor of master's degree'' 
''But where are those good old fashioned gimmicks'' 
''On which we used to rely?'' 
 
''Lucky there's a family guy'' 
''Lucky there's a man who positively can do all the things that make the'' 
''Experts cry'' 
''Cause he's a family guy!''

Hey, Lois, remember that time when JCM wrote all those parodies and stuff:

== Parodies ==

=== Don't Upload That Pic ===
Set to the tune of [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_zZFOQ0hs6E "Don't Download This Song" by Weird Al].

==== Lyrics ====

Once in a while maybe you will feel the urge 
To turn and upload useless communism 
Like bringing in images for file-sharing sites 
The Wiki User Wiki's already terrorism 
 
But deep in your heart you know the guilt would drive you mad 
And the shame would kill your reputation 
'Cause it starts out as a file and it becomes a hotlink 
And cracking into sites from every comp in your nation 
 
So don't upload that pic 
Photobucket's where you should stick 
Don't be a communist 'cause you know that it's wrong 
Oh, don't upload that pic 
 
Oh, you don't wanna mess with the whole MGMT 
They'll ban you if you reupload that twice 
It doesn't matter if you're autistic or a seven year old child 
They'll eat you like a giant delicious plate full of brown rice 
 
So don't upload that pic 
Don't go around here acting like some hick 
Don't be a communist 'cause you know that it's wrong 
Oh, don't upload that pic 
 
Don't take away MBs from disk space like it's free 
How else can Super Sam afford to keep this great wiki 
And the HR and HRF 
These things don't grow on trees 
So all I ask is, "Everybody everybody please..." 
 
Don't upload that pic (Don't do it, no, no) 
Even Lars Ulrich knows it's sick (You can just ask him) 
Don't be a communist 'cause you know that it's wrong (It's really wrong) 
Oh, don't upload that pic 
 
Don't upload that pic (Oh please, don't you do it) 
Or you might wind up banhammered really quick (Remember Jimbo) 
Don't be a communist (Ever) 'cause you know that it's wrong (Don't ever do it) 
Oh, don't upload that pic 
 
Don't upload that pic (No, no, no, no, no, no) 
You'll burn in hell from just a kick (And you'll deserve it) 
Don't be a communist (Don't do it) 'cause you know that it's wrong (You stupid troll) 
Oh, don't upload that pic

=== Fat N' Lazy ===
Set to the tune of [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9nf4DhXy9oU "Ridin'" by Chamillionaire].

==== Lyrics ====

'''TEMPTERS:''' YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN GIANT! THAT MEANS EAT UP!

They see me chowin' 
My garden 
I know they're all thinking 
I'm so fat n' lazy 
 
Think I'm just too fat n' lazy 
Think I'm just too fat n' lazy 
Can't you see I'm fat n' lazy 
Look at me I'm fat n' lazy! 
I wanna go with 
The hot chicks 
But so far they all think 
I'm too fat n' lazy 
Think I'm just too fat n' lazy 
Think I'm just too fat n' lazy 
I'm just too fat n' lazy 
Really, really fat n' lazy 
 
Last in my class here at kindergarten 
No skills, I'm a loser at being retarded 
Mr. Bed is my BFF, Daddy Mack 
Keep your cold one 
I'll just have some Pepsi Throwback 
My oven is hot enough to marry 
You'll find they are extremely rare-y 
All of my delicious meals are scary 
Doctors are watching my library 
My wiki pages are never touched 
I got people running from my own friends spaces 
Yo, I've had pie in all it's hundred flavors 
Lost most my teeth cause I don't wear braces 
I order all sandwiches with/without mayonnaise 
I suck at Pinball and any cereal maze 
All of my sweets are gonna make me go real crazed 
My mouth is movin' so fast, I think I'll talk for days 
There's no race that I have run 
At last hour, well, I'm number none 
Eat mints and cough drops just for fun 
I ain't got a lock but a ball of dung 
I know every single theme song 
No matter how flip short or how flop long 
I'll chomp any kind of food that you bring on 
I'd beat up Godzilla and King Kong 
Here's the part I sing on 
 
They see me roll on the subway 
I know in my heart they think I'm fat n' lazy 
Think I'm just too fat n' lazy 
Think I'm just too fat n' lazy 
Can't you see I'm fat n' lazy 
Look at me I'm fat n' lazy 
I wanna go with 
The hot chicks 
Although it's apparent I'm too fat n' lazy 
Think I'm just too fat n' lazy 
I'm just too fat n' lazy 
How'd I get so fat n' lazy? 
 
I've been snoozing, ingestin' 
All those comics you know I collect 'em 
The bags full of chocolate 
I must protect 'em 
My big kitchen table never leaves me bored 
Shopping online for deals on some sunflower seeds 
I look for all my cheesy needs 
I sleep for 12 hours a day 
I'd rather lose my tongue than go outside and play. 
I got a business doing taste tests 
When my friends need some food who do they call? 
I won't give a bite to any or all 
Not even my stupid, whiny dog! 
Yo! Got myself a calorie pack 
They were having a sale down at Wal-Mart 
Spend my nights with some candy hearts 
MUNCH MUNCH! Hope no one sees me gettin' sneaky! 
 
I'm lazy in the extreme and fatter than TV dads seem 
I'm not in any school clubs or even the football team! 
The first question that was easy for me 
Was do I like Kool-Aid or do I like Black tea? 
I spend my every weekend 
At all-you-can-eat 
I own a wagon for all my meat 
 
They see me strollin' 
They laughin' 
And rollin' their eyes 'cause 
I'm so fat n' lazy 
Just because I'm fat n' lazy 
Just because I'm fat n' lazy 
All because I'm fat n' lazy 
Holy cow I'm fat n' lazy 
I wanna sew with 
The hot chicks 
But oh well it's obvious I'm fat n' lazy 
Think I'm just too fat n' lazy 
Think I'm just too fat n' lazy 
I'm just too fat n' lazy 
Look at me I'm fat n' lazy!

=== Well ===
Set to the tune of [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hZJPcD6QWe4 "Lump" by Presidents of the United States].

==== Lyrics ====

Well's from the Pokemopolis forums 
His name is Awesome, and possibly the one 
He is really strange, like aluminum sea boats 
He knew he'd never be like any other emotes 
He's Well, he's Well 
He's just a head 
He's Well, he's Well, he's Well 
Is he on meds? 
 
Well was a small celebrity 
He soon came to be a crappy internet meme 
He's something awful, that's for sure 
The mass madness he causes will never have a cure 
 
He's Well, he's Well 
He's kinda round 
He's Well, he's Well, he's Well 
What have we found? 
 
Smile... smile... smile, smile, now Awesome 
Smile... smile... smile in your face now 
Smile... smile... smile, smile, now Awesome 
Smile... look! 
 
Well's alter egos circulated in tens 
He spends most of the day looking for real friends 
He never lies or cheats, but he steals 
Each time you click him he gets 20 meals 
 
He's Well, he's Well 
He's really bright 
He's Well, he's Well, he's Well 
Is he all right? 
 
Is this Well a hint of red? 
I think so 
Will this Well never be wed? 
I think so 
Did this Well gain lots of cred? 
I think so 
And that's all I'm gonna say about that

=== Worst Night Ever ===
Set to the same tune as [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XcxCJ4N8vd4 "Best Day Ever" by SpongeBob SquarePants].

==== Lyrics ====

Mr. Moon came out and he laughed at me. Said it's gonna suck tonight, just wait and see! 
Crawled out of bed and I tried to hide, feeling so extra dang horrified! 
 
It's the worst night ever! (worst night ever) 
It's the worst night ever! (worst night ever) 
 
I'm so sleepy, but heard something new. Spent the last five hours here, I need to poo. 
Every hour, every stupid Dan, attempts to pull me out by hand. 
 
It's the worst night ever! (worst night ever) 
It's the worst night ever! (worst night ever) 
 
This time scary big things start coming in on me, I'm here upside down, I'm gonna lose my frown, then they throw me out the window without a sound. 
Those stars above me just disappear, it's crazy what's happening, and now I can't hear... 
Soon Mrs. Sun will be shining gay so the worst night ever will last all day. 
No, the worst night ever's gonna last all day now. 
 
It's the worst night ever! (worst night ever) 
It's the worst night ever! (worst night ever) 
It's the worst night ever! (worst night ever) 
It's the worst night ever! (worst night ever) 
(worst night ever)

=== Sinny Lane ===
Set to the tune of [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4OnDx9OIgyg "Penny Lane" by The Beatles].

==== Lyrics ====

In Sinny Lane there's an assassin showing all his plaques 
With every head he's had the pleasure to have sliced, 
And the people that have paid the price, 
Hops over us twice. 
 
On the corner is a salesman with a purse-suitcase, 
The little children laugh at him behind his back. 
And the salesman steals all of their Macs 
In the pouring rain, they all hang. 
 
Sinny Lane is in my ears and in my eyes. 
There beneath the dark and gloomy skies 
I sit, and meanwhile back 
In Sinny Lane there is a minister with an hourglass 
And in his pocket is a portrait of the scene. 
He likes to keep his big figure mean. 
He's a mean machine. 
 
Sinny Lane is in my ears and in my eyes. 
I lost my fish and finger pies 
In summer, meanwhile back 
Behind the shelter in the middle of the roundabout 
An evil nurse is selling puppies from a tray 
And she made sure that all the owners lay 
She is really gray. 
 
In Sinny Lane the assassin mounts up another head, 
And the salesman rubs his neck as he walks by. 
And then the minister sanctifies. 
In the pouring rain, we all sang: 
 
Sinny Lane is in my ears and in my eyes. 
There beneath the dark and gloomy skies >
I sit, and meanwhile back. 
Sinny Lane is in my ears and in my eyes. 
There beneath the dark and gloomy skies 
Sinny Lane.

=== Whiny Crappy People ===
Set to the tune of [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dr6fC7Ooxnc "Shiny Happy People" by R.E.M.].

==== Lyrics ====

Whiny crappy people crying 
See you in Moscow 
People, people 
Hope that y'all get wound-ed 
Hate you, hate you 
Please get out of town 
Crappy, crappy 
Head into the ground 
Where the tree roots grow 
Sucking up to time 
 
Whiny crappy people from the land 
Whiny crappy people on the sand 
Whiny crappy people crying 
 
Everyone around hates them, hates them 
Take them off our hands 
Take them, take them 
There's no time to cry 
Crappy, crappy 
Do it from your heart 
Or they will be mine 
And I won't be kind 
 
Whiny crappy people from the sand 
Whiny crappy people on the sand 
Whiny crappy people crying 
 
Hey, here you go 
 
Whiny crappy people from the sand 
Whiny crappy people on the sand 
Whiny crappy people crying 
Whiny crappy people from the sand 
Whiny crappy people on the sand 
Whiny crappy people crying 
Whiny crappy people from the sand 
Whiny crappy people on the sand 
Whiny crappy people crying

=== You're My Rival ===
Set to the tune of [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OTvxq8IfRMs "You're my Best Friend" by Tim McGraw].

==== Lyrics ====

I've always had someone...that I could count on. 
Never been left down in my life. 
I have never been hurtin'...never needed searchin'. 
'Til you crawled into my life. 
It was a feelin'...I'd never known. 
And for the first time...I had to pick a bone. 
 
You're more than a hater. 
There could never been one greater... 
To make me feel the way you do. 
Oh...we are just tight-lipped. 
I clench in hate with my fists...everytime I look at you. 
Anywhere I'd rather be than with you here with me. 
Life with you makes no darn sense. 
You're my rival. 
You're my rival...oh no. 
 
You're against me...and you never hear me. 
Like nobody ever did. 
When my world goes crazy... 
You're there to laugh at me. 
You make me see how much I want. 
And I still tremble...when you cough. 
And...ugh the look in your eyes when I eat lunch. 
 
You're more than a hater. 
There could never been one greater... 
To make me feel the way you do. 
Oh...we are just tight-lipped. 
I clench in hate with my fists...everytime I look at you. 
Anywhere I'd rather be than with you here with me. 
Life with you makes no darn sense. 
You're my rival. 
You're my rival...oh no. 
 
You're more than a hater. 
There could never been one greater... 
To make me feel the way you do. 
Oh...we are just losers. 
I clench in hate with my fists...everytime I look at you. 
Anywhere I'd rather be than with you here with me. 
Life with you makes no darn sense. 
You're my rival. 
 
You're my rival (my rival) 
You're my rival (my rival)

=== Twitter ===
Set to the tune of [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Glxyn-AxXl8 "Thriller" by Michael Jackson].

==== Lyrics ====

You've tweeted all night and then followed a bunch of question marks 
It is a website that you have been on every day since March 
You have to scream when you get to the hundred forty limit 
And every scene of your life has gone down unrestricted 
You're addicted 
 
'Cause this is Twitter, Twitter Lite 
And no one's gonna save you from the thing we all dislike 
You know it's Twitter, Twitter Lite 
You'll never have a life thanks to this fitter Twitter tonight 
 
You have a MySpace, a Facebook, don't forget your LinkedIn 
You are a nutcase in the eyes of your family and friends 
You will get fired if you don't get your face out of your cell phone 
And you will cry and end up tweeting it on the way home 
Future unknown 
 
'Cause this is Twitter, Twitter Lite 
You're caught into a trance and it is one you cannot fight, no 
Twitter, Twitter Lite 
You'll never have a life thanks to this fitter Twitter tonight 
 
When you are eating, you detail every aspect of your meal 
When you watch TV, not one spoiler will be concealed 
(It's all revealed) 
This obsession is surreal 
 
You see a whale fail; you F5 quicker than a speeding car 
On a Twitter scale, your amount of usage is just bizarre 
Now is the time for you to get a lot of therapy, now 
Although the trial won't get you close enough to being free 
You have to see 
 
That this is Twitter, Twitter Lite 
You know you'll tweet this the second that I am out of sight 
Twitter, Twitter Lite 
Forget all that is right and share a 
Fitter Twitter, whatever here tonight 
 
'Cause this is Twitter, Twitter Lite 
You know you'll tweet this the second that I am out of sight 
Twitter, Twitter Lite 
Forget all that is right and share a fitter Twitter, ow!

=== Average Day ===
Set to the tune of [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JiZMzi-Hw8U "Toes" by Zac Brown Band].

==== Lyrics ====

My cup of joe's on the table, paper in hand 
Though I'm not really reading, don't it make me look grand? 
Just an average day. Just an average day. 
Well, I had to leave for work at 8 o'clock 
Made sure to kiss my wife goodbye 
So she wouldn't suspect that I left her 
For someone better on the eyes 
My office job's so boring I could sob like the spoiled brat I am 
Though I'm not a recaller 
I could have been a lawyer 
If I had an attention span 
 
My computer's on the table, mouse in my hand 
The boss logs everything, so I'm under his command 
Just an average day. Just an average day. 
 
Hola usted zapatos grandes 
I say "welcome from Spain" 
But the Spanish-fluent workers and all the random lurkers 
Give me a real dirty face 
Hola usted zapatos grandes 
When I get out of here 
Gonna take myself a nap and forget all the crap 
That ever happened this year 
 
The hours flew by like a drunk bald eagle, meaning that it was pretty fast 
I'm at the door, as my time is no more 
At the car, I step on the gas 
But it doesn't start because it's not on 
"Not again," I say with the key 
And the cars next to me laugh before taking off and now I've put it in, I guarantee 
 
Cellular phone's in my shoulder, wheel in my hand 
In a few more miles I will be in the promised land 
Just an average day. Just an average day. 
 
<nowiki>*nine car horn honks*</nowiki> 
Says the car behind me 
I think it was important since the man flipped me off when I said I was busy 
<nowiki>*nine car horn honks*</nowiki> 
He sounds really annoyed 
I probably should speed her and take the call later 
The road's so hard to enjoy 
 
Hola usted zapatos grandes 
Thank God that I'm back home 
Oh no, the children are back from school with my wife, how cruel 
Now the whole family's here 
Hola usted zapatos grandes 
I sure can't wait for work 
 
I'm just gonna drink my cup of joe 
And put my head in the paper 
Wait for my wife 
And think about what I did to deserve this looping life 
Just an average day. Just an average day. 

=== D.M.C.A. ===
Set to the tune of [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_0HcbDj7e_k "Y.M.C.A." by Village People].

==== Lyrics ====

Young man, why the frown on your face? 
I said, young man, looking like a disgrace 
I said, young man, you are in a new place 
So don't be so rotten sappy 
 
Young man, the internet's for all 
I said, young man, when you can't afford Brawl 
Just download it, and keep downloading more 
'Till your eyes fall on the floor 
 
We're violating the D.M.C.A. 
We're violating the D.M.C.A. 
There are mp3s, e-books, and videos 
Pirate copies of Vegas Pro 
 
We're violating the D.M.C.A. 
We're violating the D.M.C.A. 
You can do what you want, get whatever you please 
Shareware patches or even keys 
 
Young man, you'll find this stuff online 
I said, young man, and you won't (probably) pay a fine 
I said, young man, what are you waiting for? 
You've got a big land to explore 
 
You can come right out that shell 
I said, young man, don't contemplate your cell 
If you breach it, yeah the D.M.C.A. 
You'll be dumbfound by the array 
 
We're violating the D.M.C.A. 
We're violating the D.M.C.A. 
There are mp3s, e-books, and videos 
Pirate copies of Vegas Pro 
 
We're violating the D.M.C.A. 
We're violating the D.M.C.A. 
You can do what you want, get whatever you please 
Shareware patches or even keys 
 
I once was a sissy like you 
I said, I once feared the law like its Jew 
I thought nothing could to be worth it to break 
That it would all be a mistake 
 
Someone finally understood 
And said, young man, come back down to the 'hood 
There's a law here called the D.M.C.A. 
It will show you what to "obey" 
 
We're violating the D.M.C.A. 
We're violating the D.M.C.A. 
There are mp3s, e-books, and videos 
Pirate copies of Vegas Pro 
 
D.M.C.A. 
We're violating the D.M.C.A. 
Young man, young man, get that frown off your face 
Young man, young man, you are not a disgrace 
 
D.M.C.A. 
Violating the D.M.C.A. 
Young man, young man, a sissy don't be you 
Young man, young man, you are not the law's Jew 
D.M.C.A.

=== Rabies ===
Set to the tune of [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I_5-kyMz3xM "Baby" by Justin Bieber].

==== Lyrics ====

A hog just bit me 
It really hurts 
I'm going to have 
To stay alert 
It could be small 
It could be big 
And I could really maybe turn into a pig 
 
You say that's silly 
That I am just fine 
How do you know 
I won't be a swine? 
Please face the facts 
You cannot avoid it 
Before you know I'll be eating my own...yeah 
 
I tell you, it's 
Rabies, rabies, rabies, oh 
It's 
Rabies, rabies, rabies, no 
It's 
Rabies, rabies, rabies, oh 
Please, doc, tell me it ain't so (so) 
 
Rabies, rabies, rabies, oh 
It's 
Rabies, rabies, rabies, no 
It's 
Rabies, rabies, rabies, oh 
Please, doc, tell me it ain't so (so) 
 
You tell me 
That it isn't so, up straight 
Don't have to go on eHamony for a sow-mate 
Don't treat me like I'm well 
I'll write the note myself 
It's worth a week of school 
Or forty weeks of school 
 
And I'm going mad 
Rabies does that 
Don't be surprised if my pink eyes begin to scat 
I'm gonna squeal, squeal 
Squeal 
Squeal 
It's coming soon, I promise, this I can really feel 
 
It's the 
Rabies, rabies, rabies, oh 
Yeah 
Rabies, rabies, rabies, no 
It's 
Rabies, rabies, rabies, oh 
Please, doc, tell me it ain't so (so) 
 
Rabies, rabies, rabies, oh 
Got 
Rabies, rabies, rabies, no 
It's 
Rabies, rabies, rabies, oh 
Please, doc, tell me it ain't so (so) 
 
BLACK DUDE 
When I was like three, I had my first cold 
There was no disease that ever made me sneeze 
Or make anything I'm saying understandable 
It had me goin' crazy 
Oh, I was effed up 
It woke me up daily 
What's two girls one cup? 
Oh right, this rap thing 
I drank orange juice and that disgusting red goop and 
There wasn't any drink 
That could stop the flow of my nose's poopin' 
I had an immune system, 
That did the work of six men, 
But I haven't been cured yet 
So it's like rabies I guess... 
 
Rabies, rabies, rabies, oh 
Like 
Rabies, rabies, rabies, no 
He said 
Rabies, rabies, rabies, oh 
Please, doc, tell me it ain't so (so) 
 
Rabies, rabies, rabies, oh 
Dang 
Rabies, rabies, rabies, no 
Them 
Rabies, rabies, rabies, oh 
Please, doc, tell me it ain't so (so) 
 
Where did you go? 
Far away, far away 
Where did you go? 
Far away, far away 
Where did you go? 
Far away, far away 
Where did you go? 
Away, away, away 
You're gone

== Originals ==

=== Rap ===
Copyright [[JCM Productions]].

==== Lyrics ====

What's up, everyone? I got a story to tell. 
About a whiny little brat lurking on his Dell. 
He said that people like me were doing wrong. 
And he expressed his thoughts on this somehow decent song. 
 
Rap is just crap with a silent "c". 
With Retards Attempting Poetry. 
And please don't call me stupid for having an opinion. 
I will continue to say it until my days are done. 
 
Rap is just crap with a silent "c". 
Just Retards Attempting Poetry. 
You say my days are numbered? And sleep with one eye open? 
You won't scare me. You don't scare me. So, listen to me, friend! 
 
Oh yeah! 
 
Rap is just crap with a silent "c". 
Those Retards Attempting Poetry. 
Think that I don't know that it's just a lack of common sense. 
So remember that one person can make a difference. 
 
So remember the moral of this story. 
Other people can make up these songs for me 
I know it's hypocrisy but 
I do not give a flying

=== Censorship ===
Copyright [[JCM Productions]].

==== Lyrics ====

I was watching a premium channel 
Like Starz, Showtime, and HBO 
When someone said a word that put me in a permanent shock 
 
I was forced to undergo extensive therapy 
And I had to set fire to my flat screen TV 
The same can happen to your children without parental locks 
 
So come on down and get our censorship 
In the USA, it's what they call "hip" 
A family safe environment will finally be in your grip 
 
If you want more, get our extended pack 
Internet, music, and books will get the whack 
If you don't believe us, look at our 12,700 plaques 
 
Any kind of violence has no place with us 
We'll make sure to filter cusses and swears like "shut up" 
Inappropriate behavior will disintegrate to dust 
 
So come on down and get our censorship 
And minors won't get past our walls without a permit 
Just give us a call for minds never being ripped 
(Apart like our hate mail)

{{JCM Productions}}

← Older revision		Revision as of 16:53, 11 April 2022
Line 968:		Line 968:
	Set to the tune of <span class="plainlinks">[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fpdw3K9mD2s "I Feel Pretty" from West Side Story]</span>.		Set to the tune of <span class="plainlinks">[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fpdw3K9mD2s "I Feel Pretty" from West Side Story]</span>.

		+	==== Lyrics ====
		+
		+	I feel shitty<br>
		+	Oh, so shitty<br>
		+	I feel shitty and gritty and grey<br>
		+	And I pity<br>
		+	Myself more than anyone else could today<br>
		+	<br>
		+	I feel bloated<br>
		+	Oh, so bloated<br>
		+	Unfortunate how bloated I feel<br>
		+	And so shitty<br>
		+	That I wish nothing around me were real

	{{JCM Productions}}		{{JCM Productions}}

User:JCM/songs - Revision history

JCM: adding words

JCM: removing originals and adding new parody

JCM: cleaning it up for my riff

JCM: /* Rabies */ or make anything im saying understandable

@@ Line 965: / Line 965: @@
 You're gone
-== Originals ==
+=== I Feel Shitty ===
 {{JCM Productions}}