Cow Puncher 5: some more

2009-05-24T03:55:03Z

some more

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'''COW:''' Email, email, email, you rule so much!

<pre> Hey cow. You have TOO MANY emails. </pre>

'''COW:''' Let's check,

<pre>
dear kau puncer
do u liek anime
form inuyashafan2142367753552</pre>

'''COW:''' No, I prefer DELETED!

<pre>
Dear Cow,
Have you ever beat the crud out of cows
From,
Hamsardude1</pre>

'''COW:''' Yes. Yes I have. ...DELETED!

<pre>Cow!
What do you do when you have a song stuck in your head?
Randomly Emailing,
T. Gerra</pre>

'''COW:''' Simple: bang your head. DELETED!

<pre>Heyb Cowb
Ib spilledb sodab onb myb keyboard.b Hasb thisb everb happenedb tob you?b
Hopingb youb canb readb this,b
Tiggerab</pre>

'''COW:''' ...DELETED!

<pre>Dear Cow,
YOUR SYSTEM HAS BEEN INFECTED WITH THE PEEKACHEW VIRUS! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!
-Some virus guy.</pre>

''{a pikachu dances on the screen}''

'''COW:''' ...That's all. DELETED!

<pre>Dear Cow,
What would everything be like if you were elected the next King of Town?
From,
DonutHead41</pre>

'''COW:''' I would drop out because it's a dumb job.

<pre> Dear Cow,
I like popsicles, but mine
melted. Would you buy me a
new one?
Yours,
Ultrapoopaw</pre>

'''COW:''' Never!

<pre>Dear Cow,

Why did you chew off your long, furry, tail? It was gross! You gotta go stop him/her/it!

Insert witty comment here,
Chwoka</pre>

'''COW:''' I already did it, okay? So bye.

<pre>Yo Cow,
Do you have any bad habits?
Crapfully mine,
TheCheese</pre>

'''COW:''' One: I like to dance!

''{a disco ball pops up and techno plays while Cow <s>plays unfitting music</s> dances.}''

<pre>Hi Cow,
If you could have any job in the world,
what would it be?
Your comrade,
TheCheese</pre>

'''COW:''' I would like to be a dancer!

''{a disco ball pops up and techno plays while Cow <s>plays unfitting music</s> dances.}''

<pre>DEAR COW,
SPORTS ARE FUN SOMETIMES!
PLAY THEM SOME?
YOURS,
THECHEESE</pre>

'''COW:''' Yep! I do this!

''{a disco ball pops up and techno plays while Cow <s>plays unfitting music</s> dances.}''

<pre>EWW!
Those red blotches on your back look serious!
You need to go see a doc or something!
<Write whatever here>
TheCheeseyGuy</pre>

'''COW:''' I don't have any! ''{looks on back}'' Oh. Whatever.

<pre>ATTENTION!
I HAVE STOLEN YOUR UH...UNCLE REMUS!
GET HIM IN THAT BACK ALLEY AT THAT PLACE!
BRING MONEY AND BLING WORKS TOO!
COME WITHIN 1 hour and 37 minutes,
ANONY</pre>

'''COW:''' Ahh, I hated him.

<pre>Sup Cow?
I normally play video games all day,
but my electricity's out. What can I do
when I'm bored to death in the dark?
-TheCheese</pre>

'''COW:''' Commit suicide.

<pre> To whom it may concern,
What is the worst email you ever recieved? EVER!
Your fan probably,
TheCheese</pre>

'''COW:''' Any from YOU! Haha!

<pre>Cow,
If you caold travel anywheres in the world, where
would you go?
Your Blahdy blah,
TheBlah</pre>

'''COW:''' Back to space to see my family!

<pre> Hey Cow,
Do you realize that there is some person that writes
your transcripts and controls your very existence?!?
-TheCheese</pre>

'''COW:''' I know, her name is Daniele. Say hi, Daniele!

'''DANIELE:''' Hey, sup TheCheese! Sup, Cow!

<pre>What's Crackin' Cow?
Have you ever played Grand Theft Auto?
My mom says it's bad.
Tell me what it's like,
TheCheese</pre>

'''COW:''' Play it yourself.

<pre>Cow,
Do you have any brothers or sisters?
Your shizzle to my nizzle,
TheCheese</pre>

'''COW:''' Every Space Spartan is my brother or sister, duuuude!

<pre>Hey Cow!
Have you ever been to this one website?
It's called clamburger.org and it's pretty weird.
Like, I don't even know ow to send an email!
From TheCheese</pre>

'''COW:''' Yes. Yes I have.

<pre>Yo Yo Cow
What was it like back in the day?
Your camaraderie,
TheCheese</pre>

'''COW:''' We-Uh-Ba- Oh, I dunno.

<pre>Hay Cow!
Isnot eet anoyin whin yu git emals liik thees?
Eet Driivs Mee Nuuts!!!!11!!
Yore Pale,
ThuCheez</pre>

'''COW:''' Yes. Yes it does. A lot.

<pre>Hey!
What do you prefer?
Paper or Plastic?
Cuz' y'know, that's like, hard, y'know!
-TheFriggin'Cheese</pre>

'''COW:''' Plastic.

<pre>Hmmm....
Do you have a phone number? I really want to call you for a date if
you're a gal and prank call you if you're a dude.
-BrothaCheese</pre>

'''COW:''' No.

<pre>Cow,
Wat is your fave Television show that is not aired anymore?
Eating Cheese Right Now,
TheCheese</pre>

'''COW:''' I don't watch TV.

<pre>Just wondering,
What would you do if you never got any emails?
Would you make some up, or do something else?
Some funny ending involving crap,
TheCheese</pre>

'''COW:''' I would make them up.

<pre>If you could have any superpower,
what would you have?
Form
That Guy Named TheCheese</pre>

'''COW:''' None.

<pre>Hi whoever you are,
Have you ever gotten a chain letter? Ugh, so annoying.
Now forward this to 56 peeps in the next 4 minutes and your
true love will be revealed by clicking F4.
From,
Anonymous</pre>

'''COW:''' lol ok i will!!!! roflolmao

<pre>HI COW!
THIS IS STRONG MAD!
COME OVER TO MY HOUSE TO PLAY GAMES!
LOVE!
STRONG MAD!</pre>

'''COW:''' How about no!

<pre>Hey person,
Do you listen to old records?
Which is your favorite old disgusting record?
Bye,
TheCheese</pre>

'''COW:''' None! Just none!

<pre>HI!
What horrors are lurking in your attic?
It's gotta be cool up theres?
TheCheese</pre>

'''COW:''' No. No it is not.

<pre>You, Coweth, are hereby summoned to thy meetingeth
of oldeth people at thy senor centereth
Frometh,
The Old People at the Senior Centereth</pre>

'''COW:''' No. I dont want to go! Mommy!

<pre> Cow!
When you were littler, did you ever get punished?
How were you punished?
Your homeslice,
TheCheese</pre>

'''COW:''' No, punished is considered a sin in Space Sparta.

<pre>Yo Cow!
Have you ever had a boyslashgirlfriend?
Your pally-wally,<pre>

'''COW:''' Well, Pally-wally, no I have not.

<pre>
Dear Cow, 
Are you a bully? If so, Do you like to bully yourself? I think you need to be bullied. 
<insert your favorite ending here!> 
S-to-the-b</pre>

'''COW:'''No I do not like bullying I am pure

<pre>
Dear Subscribed User, 

We have noticed that you have not payed for your premium mebership fund. You currently owe $100,000,000,000. The last paying time was March 19th, 1989. Please send us your credit card number for immedaite <s>fining</s> consultation. 

Thankyou, 
The Internet Gamers Club of America</pre>

'''COW:''' No.

<pre>
Dear Cow, 
Have you read the King of Town's blog? 

Your buddy, 
Nodnarb</pre>

'''COW:''' No I don't know you. ...Oh wait, No I won't.

<pre>
Dear Cow Puncer),
When was the last time you had an argument with yourself, and what was it about?
With lots of groan,
Einoo
</pre>

'''COW:''' Einoo, aren't you dead? Well, I'm afraid I haven't. Ever.

<pre>Deer Cow,
D0 yu now teh mnuffin man?
Sincereerely,
Homestsar runer</pre>

'''COW:''' No.

<pre>Dear Cow,
Which year was the worst year of your life?
Censored-ly,
Einoo</pre>

'''COW:''' The one when I learned to DANCE!

''{a disco ball pops up and techno plays while Cow <s>plays unfitting music</s> dances.}''

<pre>Dear Cow,
De do do do, de da da da is all I want to say to you.
Ecilop</pre>

'''COW:''' ... Okay.

<pre>Dear you,
Have you ever had to take out the garbage,
And how did you manage to get out of it?
Something about crap,
Sporky</pre>

'''COW:''' Yep. I took it out back... and danced!

''{a disco ball pops up and techno plays while Cow <s>plays unfitting music</s> dances.}''

<pre>Hi Cow
Whats it like at your
place
Your Pal
Limoman</pre>

'''COW:''' Well... ''{moves camera around room}'' Happy? Also, there's... A dance studio!

''{a disco ball pops up and techno plays while Cow <s>plays unfitting music</s> dances.}''

<pre>Hello Cow
Do you know who you
are once you meet him would you'd want to see
yourself again
Forever young
Limoman</pre>

'''COW:''' I see myself all the time in the mirror! Even when I... Dance!

''{a disco ball pops up and techno plays while Cow <s>plays unfitting music</s> dances.}''

<pre>Dear Cow
I've noticed you've never seemed to get sick.
How do you stay so darn healthy?
~Limoman</pre>

'''COW:''' I punch lots of Cows, and... DANCE!

''{a disco ball pops up and techno plays while Cow <s>plays unfitting music</s> dances.}''

<pre>AGGGGGHBLBLBLBLBL.
This is the Mushroom Embassy, regretting to inform Cow
that you have lost a red coin.
You will be fined for no reason.

-Watteson Kurinashu Toadyton Zubambe
Jonessers Grephidus Nackella Jr. the 193,394th</pre>

'''COW:''' Okay.

<pre>Say, Cow,
Would you like a cup of Joel Dawson?
NOT the person named Markie or Burnbox</pre>

'''COW:''' No, not really.

User:Cow Puncher 5/a bunch of emails - Revision history

Cow Puncher 5: some more