Bellstrom at 04:16, 3 March 2009

2009-03-03T04:16:39Z

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''{episode opens to the tardis.}''

'''ESTELLE:''' ''{Sneezes}''

''{a box of tissues flies in from offscreen and hits Estelle in the face}''

'''UNHOLY TRACY:'''''{offscreen}'' ...DAMMIT, THB!

'''THB:'''''{offscreen}'' Teehee.

'''ESTELLE:''' ... ''{Sneezes in the direction THB is in}''

''{pan over to THB}''

'''THB:'''''{is holding head, which is covered in snot. It looks like he is about to throw his head at Estelle}'' RRRR...

''{UT runs in and tackles THB}''

'''OLDER ESTELLE:''' I think she/me is sick.

'''UNHOLY TRACY:''' ...Crap. What do you think it's from?

'''THB:''' My guess is she got something from all those corpses that you've been eating.

'''OLDER ESTELLE:''' Well, there IS a bright side to this. It will give you more training to being a good father.

'''UNHOLY TRACY:''' ...I highly doubt it will work. The only way I know she's gonna survive is because you're here.

'''OLDER ESTELLE:''' Just try to make her better or ''{Transforms into Ganon}'' DIE. ''{Turns back}''

'''UNHOLY TRACY:''' Okay, let me look through my backpack of pain... ''{pulls out a book, throws offscreen, pulls out a baseballbat,trows offscreen, some vodka, drinks, pulls out some cough syrup}'' Ahh, here we go. ''{takes out a rather large spoon}'' Er...

'''THB:''' Ma-

'''UNHOLY TRACY:''' Say it, and I will reduce your nuts to blood mixed with dust. ''{jabs the spoon in THB's eye-socket, pull out a normal tablespoon, pours some of the cough syrup onto it, holds it to Young Estelle's mouth}'' Estelle, drink this.

'''ESTELLE:''' I don't wanna!

'''UNHOLY TRACY:''' ... ''{snaps fingers}'' There. Now it's tuna-flavored.

'''ESTELLE:''' YAY! ''{Drinks it, but sneezes and spits it all over THB}''

'''THB:''' EWEWEWEWEWEW.

'''UNHOLY TRACY:'''''{puts some more of the cough syrup in the spoon, snaps fingers}'' Drink it before you sneeze again.

'''ESTELLE:''' Oka- ''{Sneezes and blows the cough syrup off the spoon. Its about to hit UT, when it stops in midair and all of a sudden, hits THB... again}''

'''UNHOLY TRACY:''' ... ''{pours more of the cough syrup into the spoon, snaps fingers AGAIN, sticks it in Estelle's mouth}'' SWALLOW IT. NOW.

'''ESTELLE:''' ''{Swallows it. Sneezes, and sends the spoon flying and it hits THB in the balls.}''

''{a cracking sound is heard}''

'''UNHOLY TRACY:''' ...Oh holy hell.

'''THB:'''''{eye twitches, vomits, vomits up blood, passes out}''

'''OLDER ESTELLE:''' Well, hopefully that will wo-

'''ESTELLE:''' ''{Sneezes}''

'''OLDER ESTELLE:''' Crap.

'''UNHOLY TRACY:''' Um... ''{warps up some chicken noodle soup, hands to Young Estelle}'' Eat this. It might help.

'''OLDER ESTELLE:''' Oooh, SOUP! ''{Takes the soup and swallows it all straight out of the bowl}'' Mmmmmmmm..... ...What?

'''UNHOLY TRACY:''' Odd. I thought you might sneeze again and fling the soup onto THB's nuts. Well, I can still make that happen. ''{warps up some more soup, pours it on THB, who promptly explodes}''

'''OLDER ESTELLE:''' HAHA!

'''THB:'''''{reappears}{in a British accent}'' I'm not dead yet!

'''OLDER ESTELLE:''' Err... what the hell?

'''UNHOLY TRACY:''' Me and THB are total freaks. You should have known that when you arrived here.

'''THB:''' It's true!

'''ESTELLE:''' ''{Sneezes again}''

'''THB:''' Yay! It didn't land on me this time!

'''UNHOLY TRACY:'''''{pulls a previously unseen lever, dropping a 40-Ton Weight onto THB}''

'''OLDER ESTELLE:''' Heh heh.

''{the weight breaks in two, revealing THB, completely unscathed, and holding a piece of plywood, which he promptly smashes in UT's face}''

'''UNHOLY TRACY:''' ... ''{pulls out a knife}''

'''OLDER ESTELLE:''' Shouldn't we be helping out younger me?

'''UNHOLY TRACY:''' Yeah, probably. ''{sticks knife in THB's eye socket, gets up}'' What do you suggest?

'''THB:''' I think we should-

'''UNHOLY TRACY:''' SHUT UP! NOBODY CARES WHAT YOU THINK!

'''OLDER ESTELLE:''' Wait, he could have a good idea. Yes, THB?

'''THB:''' Okay. I think we should pay her twenty bucks to get rid of her cold.

'''UNHOLY TRACY:''' ...I told you it would be a stupid idea.

'''OLDER ESTELLE:''' Well... my grandpa knows how to get rid of a cold.

'''UNHOLY TRACY:''' ...Please explain to me how I am going to tell Badstar that his son has been flung into who knows where be God, who is currently a cat? ...No answer, huh? Whatever. ''{walks over to the control panel, flips a few switches, presses a few buttons, pulls a lever. the TARDIS starts shaking}'' Next stop; Badstar's house!

''{cut to outside Badstar's house. The TARDIS appears}''

'''OLDER ESTELLE:''' ''{Walks out}'' Well, this is the place.

'''UNHOLY TRACY:''' I know. ''{rings doorbell}''

''{Badstar opens the door, taller.}''

'''BADSTAR:''' Oh, hi Tracy! Its been years since I've seen you!

'''UNHOLY TRACY:''' Yeah. But my name's Unholy Tracy now.

'''THB:'''''{from TARDIS}'' Hey, Badstar, guess what! Bell's dead!

'''UNHOLY TRACY:''' ...DAMMIT, THB!

'''BADSTAR:''' ...WHAAAAAAA!?!?

'''UNHOLY TRACY:'''''{sighs}'' Yes. Bell is dead. He sacrificed himself to destroy a being he created. His name was Ll e bami. I'm sure you've heard of him.

'''BADSTAR:''' Yeah. I met him in a crappy movie that was remade a long time ago...

'''UNHOLY TRACY:''' Uh huh. Well, uhh, listen, we-

'''THB:'''''{from TARDIS}'' Oh, and your son got himself placed in some random spot in the universe after he pissed off God!

'''UNHOLY TRACY:''' ...THB, STOP IT! YOU'RE TECHNICALLY BELL, SO YOU SHOULDN'T BE TRYING TO MAKE BADSTAR CRY!

'''BADSTAR:''' ''{Crying}''

'''THB:'''''{walks out}'' UT, you know that I'm only Bell's sadistic side. I'm SUPPOSED to cause pain to people. Physical AND emotional.

'''UNHOLY TRACY:''' ... No wonder one of Bell's best friends was the son of Death...

'''OLDER ESTELLE:''' Maybe you should explain...

'''UNHOLY TRACY:''' Right, well, Badstar, your granddaughter, Estelle, has been put in my care. She's sick, and I don't know anything about human, let alone catgirl, health.

'''BADSTAR:''' ''{Sniff}'' Well... take this... ''{Hands him soup}'' This is my special soup that cures colds... it may help...

'''SOUP:''' DOOOOOOOOOOM

'''UNHOLY TRACY:''' Hmm... ''{takes a sip of the soup}'' ...That's made of human. It wouldn't work.

'''BADSTAR:''' ...No it isn't.

'''UNHOLY TRACY:''' Good sir, I have eaten humans of all kinds. This is definitely human.

'''BADSTAR:''' No. No it is not.

'''UNHOLY TRACY:''' Then what IS it made of?

'''BADSTAR:''' Pickles, marmalade, flour, A DS, and a barrel of nuculear acid.

'''UNHOLY TRACY:''' ...Yeah, that'd kill her.

'''BADSTAR:''' Nobody else I gave it to died from it.

'''UNHOLY TRACY:''' Who'd you give it to?

'''BADSTAR:''' Everybody I know! And they're not dead! SO HA! HAHAHAHA!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA-

'''UNHOLY TRACY:''' OKAY, OKAY! I'LL TRY IT! ''{to older Estelle}'' Go get Estelle, please.

'''OLDER ESTELLE:''' ''{Grabs bowl, runs to the tardis. A few minutes later, a loud sneeze is heard}'' OH GOD!!! THERES SNOT EVERYWHERE!!!

'''UNHOLY TRACY:'''''{walks into the TARDIS}'' It can't be THAT ba-OH GOD IT'S WIKIHOOD III ALL OVER AGAIN!

''{OOC: If you didn't know, in [[Wikihood III]], UT's TARDIS gets filled with cheese.}''

'''BADSTAR:''' ...I'm guessing it didn't work.

'''UNHOLY TRACY:''' Gee, ya THINK? ''{pulls out a large, wet towel, hands to Badstar}'' You have to help clean up the mess.

'''BADSTAR:''' Oka- OH NO MY BACK. ''{Falls down}'' Looks like you have to clean it yourself!

'''UNHOLY TRACY:''' ...That's not funny.

'''BADSTAR:''' ... Its YOUR flying phone booth thingy!

'''UNHOLY TRACY:''' It's YOUR Granddaughter!

'''BADSTAR:''' She's YOUR responsibility!

'''UNHOLY TRACY:''' It was YOUR soup!

'''BADSTAR:''' YOU'RE the one that made that girl give it to her!

'''UNHOLY TRACY:''' That girl is YOUR granddaughter, but from the future-AW CRAP, I WAS'NT SUPPOSED TO REVEAL THAT, WAS I?

'''OLDER ESTELLE:''' DAMN IT, KINDA DAD!!!

'''UNHOLY TRACY:''' Um... AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ''{runs off}''

''{Cut: Back at the Tardis}''

'''OLDER ESTELLE:''' Well, THAT didn't work out...

'''THB:''' ..Hey, where'd UT g-

''{UT runs in and kicks THB}''

'''OLDER ESTELLE:''' Well, now what do we do?

'''UNHOLY TRACY:''' Um... I'll set course to Planet Tunawellness of the Plot Device Galaxy. It's a planet of sentient tuna with cold medicine for blood. ...Yeah, I don't know how that works either. ''{presses a few buttons, pulls a lever. The TARDIS starts shaking}''

'''OLDER ESTELLE:''' ''{Falls down}'' CRAP! ''{Gets up. Falls down}'' CRAP! ''{Same thing happens}'' CRAP! CAN YOU STOP THIS THING FROM SHAKING!?

''{the TARDIS stops shaking}''

'''UNHOLY TRACY:''' Well, we're here.

'''OLDER ESTELLE:''' God, get this thing fixed! It took us 4 months to get here!

'''UNHOLY TRACY:''' Well, excuuuuuuse me, Princess! I'm sorry a monster made of pizza filled this thing with cheese and converted it into a pod, because it's OBVIOUSLY my fault! ''{kicks open the door}'' Let's go.

''{Cut to a river of tuna medicine}''

'''UNHOLY TRACY:''' Eat and drink as much as you want, young Estelle.

'''ESTELLE:''' Yay! ''{Starts drinking out of the river}''

''{An hour later...}''

'''OLDER ESTELLE:''' So thats when I decided to become lesbian.

'''UNHOLY TRACY:''' ...What? We watched Estelle eat out of that river for an hour and then you said "So that's when I decided to become lesb-

'''OLDER ESTELLE:''' I SEE YOU ARE SHOCKED.

'''UNHOLY TRACY:''' ...Slightly.

'''THB:''' I'm actually kinda turned on.

'''UNHOLY TRACY:''' SHE'S SIXTEEN DAMMIT

'''THB:''' ...And?

'''UNHOLY TRACY:''' ...I SAID SIXTEEN, NOT EIGHTEEN.

'''THB:''' Oh. Oh, right.

'''OLDER ESTELLE:''' Friggin' perv...

'''ESTELLE:''' I'm all done!

''{pan out to show the entire river has been drank}''

'''OLDER ESTELLE:''' ''{Chuckles}'' Oh, me...

'''UNHOLY TRACY:''' So, are you still sick?

'''ESTELLE:''' I don't think so...

'''OLDER ESTELLE:''' YAY! We did it!

''{Cut to the tardis}''

'''OLDER ESTELLE:''' Well, this was a short episode.

'''ESTELLE:''' ''{Sneezes}''\

'''OLDER ESTELLE:''' ''{Drops down on her knees}'' WRRRRRRRRRRRRRRYYYYYYYYYYYY!?!?!?!?

'''UNHOLY TRACY:''' ...DAMMIT DAMMIT DAMMIT

''{OOC: Ignore that last thing}''

'''OLDER ESTELLE:''' CRAPCRAPCRAP

'''UNHOLY TRACY:''' NYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH ''{kicks THB in the balls}''

Unholy Parenthood/UPEp2 - Revision history

Bellstrom at 04:16, 3 March 2009