Skub at 01:38, 12 December 2008

2008-12-12T01:38:32Z

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[[Image:SBS47Pic.PNG|thumb|right|200px|'''HARRY:''' Come on, you two! Get over here!]]
== Overview ==
'''Episode 47: Honduras Harry and the Temple of the Sun'''

While on a vacation to Mexico, Number Two and Assistant meet a famous explorer.

== Transcript ==
''{Open: the Living Room.}''

'''SKULLB:''' Ahh, hell. We're not going to be in this one.

'''JERRY:''' Dang.

'''CASEY:''' We should go on a hunger strike!

'''SKULLB:''' ... Good idea.

''{Cue opening theme.}''

''{Cut: an airport in Mexico. The Zweiblitz flies onto the airstrip and lands. After landing, Number Two and Assistant walk out.}''

'''NUMBER TWO:''' You know, this was a great idea!

'''ASSISTANT:''' Yeah, I figured taking a vacation for a bit would be a good idea.

'''NUMBER TWO:''' You think? Man, villainy is stressful!

'''ASSISTANT:''' So, we should probably head to the hotel now.

'''NUMBER TWO:''' Yeah, I need a rest after sitting for five hours straight.

'''ASSISTANT:''' ''{sing-song}'' ''Irony''!

''{Assistant and Number Two start walking toward the street, until they suddenly stumble upon a man, dressed in a white, button-up shirt and a pair of khaki cargoes, wearing a [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trilby trilby]. He is holding a compass, a map, and a canteen.}''

'''ASSISTANT:''' Excuse me, sir?

'''???:''' Hm?

'''ASSISTANT:''' Yes, we're tourists. Do you know where the hotel is?

'''???:''' Hotel? Why rest?

'''NUMBER TWO:''' Why what now?

'''???:''' Why rest when adventure's afoot, gentlemen?

'''NUMBER TWO:''' ... Assistant, I ''love'' your taste in bystanders to ask for directions.

'''ASSISTANT:''' Hey! It's not my fault he's-

'''HARRY:''' Honduras Harry, famed explorer! I've travelled the Amazon, conquered the Congo, and climbed the Andes in search of adventure, treasure, and adventure!

'''ASSISTANT:''' ... Honduras Harry?

'''HARRY:''' Quite right, gentlemen!

'''NUMBER TWO:''' Oh, God, he's like Indiana Jones but real.

'''HARRY:''' Quite right, quite right! So, gentlemen... why have you come here?

'''ASSISTANT:''' We just wanted to go on vacation, that's all...

'''HARRY:''' Well, why not come with me? We'll have a splendid journey through the jungles of Central America!

'''NUMBER TWO:''' Oh, come on! I came here to relax, not-

'''HARRY:''' Trek through the jungle of Panama and find the secrets of the Olmec civilization... that was my dream. And for years, it has evaded me...

'''NUMBER TWO:''' Stop finishing my sentence, you jerk.

'''HARRY:''' But today, I embark on an intrepid expedition--and you two will be beside me as we scale the ancient ziggurats and finally uncover the secrets of the Sun Gods!

'''ASSISTANT:''' Really, we'd rather-

'''HARRY:''' Not only will you two accompany me, you shall also recieve a cut of the profits--when selling the treasure, of course.

'''NUMBER TWO:''' Welp. I'm sold.

'''ASSISTANT:''' ''{sighs}'' My contract forces me to come with you, so...

'''HARRY:''' Very well! Tonight we disembark... for adventure!

''{Harry walks off.}''

'''ASSISTANT:''' Great. We get to go to Panama and find the Sun God treasure.

'''NUMBER TWO:''' It's ''your'' fault, you know! You ''had'' to take us on vacation.

'''ASSISTANT:''' How was ''I'' going to know Honduras Whatshisname was going to drag us to Panama?

'''NUMBER TWO:''' ... I guess you weren't. But I'm still blaming it on you.

''{Cut: a dock. A small boat drifts up to it, with Harry, Number Two, and Assistant on board.}''

'''HARRY:''' Here we are! The jungles of Panama!

'''ASSISTANT:''' Didn't we just see a sign about that?

''{Cut: some signs. They read, in order, "ITS GETTING DARK" "AND SPOOKY TOO" "IN PANAMA" "EAT BIG LEAGUE CHEW".}''

'''ASSISTANT:''' I didn't think the natives knew any English, to be honest.

'''NUMBER TWO:''' I didn't know they knew about Big League Chew.

'''HARRY:''' Well, it cuts down on searching, now doesn't it?

'''ASSISTANT:''' So... are we going to get off the boat.

'''HARRY:''' Soon, soon.

''{Harry poses on the front of the boat, one leg up on the point.}''

'''HARRY:''' Do either of you have a camera on hand?

''{Cut: the spooky jungle. The three are trudging through, Harry in the lead. Every so often, Harry cuts away some bushes with a machete.}''

'''ASSISTANT:''' I think there's a bug in my hair. Is there a bug in my hair?

'''NUMBER TWO:''' No, it's just a spider.

'''ASSISTANT:''' ... Like that's any better...

''{Harry quickly, using the flat of his blade, sweeps the spider off of Assistant's head.}''

'''ASSISTANT:''' AAAH

'''HARRY:''' Relax, I'm a master of the ''{pronounces "ma-sheet"}'' machete.

'''ASSISTANT:''' WHAT IF I HAD DIED

'''NUMBER TWO:''' Oh, what ''if''.

'''HARRY:''' Shh! Up ahead... I hear it. The distinct call of the Guadalajara Rock Python!

'''NUMBER TWO:''' The what now?

'''HARRY:''' Quiet... just let me go ahead.

''{Cut: a Pitfall!-styled view. A pixelated Harry runs up to a pixellated snake. Harry jumps over.}''

'''HARRY:''' Come on, you two! Get over here!

''{Pixelated Number Two and Assistant both run and jump over the snake.}''

''{Cut: the other end of the jungle. The three look normal once more.}''

'''NUMBER TWO:''' That was- that was too close.

'''ASSISTANT:''' I can't believe we got so many platinum bars!

'''HARRY:''' Agreed.

''{Harry holds up some bars of platinum.}''

'''HARRY:''' But we're not here for platinum!

''{Harry tosses the platinum at Number Two, who catches them.}''

'''HARRY:''' No... we are here for this!

''{The camera swivels around to show a massive temple.}''

'''HARRY:''' The lost temple of the Sun God!

'''ASSISTANT:''' Well... it's a lot more impressive than I thought it would be.

'''HARRY:''' Well? Shall we enter the temple?

'''ASSISTANT:''' ... I don't know.

'''NUMBER TWO:''' Don't be a wuss, Assistant. There might be more bag of golds in there!

'''ASSISTANT:''' ... Alright, whatever. Lead us in, Indy.

'''HARRY:''' Harry.

'''ASSISTANT:''' Yeah, whatever.

''{The three ascend the temple, only to be met by a closed door.}''

'''HARRY:''' ... Blast. The door seems to be stuck...

'''ASSISTANT:''' You mean closed?

'''HARRY:''' Quiet. I'm the explorer here.

''{Harry starts examining the door.}''

'''HARRY:''' Hmmm... it looks like... we need to... open it!

'''NUMBER TWO:''' ''{offscreen}'' No ''{ba-leep}'', Sherlock.

''{Number Two walks up to the door and punches it down.}''

'''ASSISTANT:''' Since ''when'' could you do ''that''?

'''NUMBER TWO:''' Dude. I'm a friggin' ''robot''.

'''HARRY:''' My, you're a useful one.

'''NUMBER TWO:''' Well, I hate to toot my own horn, but... wait, I ''love'' doing that!

''{The three walk inside.}''

''{Cut: inside the temple. A massive chamber sprawls out before the group, with water coming out of stone heads along the walls, and a massive lake below. The only way across is a rickety wooden bridge.}''

'''NUMBER TWO:''' ... I don't like this anymore.

'''ASSISTANT:''' I never ''did''.

'''HARRY:''' Wow... amazing. Never in my life as an explorer have I seen anything so majestic, a-

'''NUMBER TWO:''' Enough waxing poetic, Dr. Livingston! Let's just get going so I can get these platinum bars ''{holds up said bars}'' to a bank or summat.

'''HARRY:''' Quite, quite. Now is not the time for soliloquy. For we must traverse this bridge!

''{Harry takes a step onto the bridge and the whole thing falls apart.}''

'''ASSISTANT:''' Alright, the bridge is broken. Let's leave.

'''HARRY:''' No, not yet! I have a plan.

''{Timeswipe. Number Two's arms and legs are stretched out, and he is sprawled across the chasm. Assistant and Harry are walking on top of him.}''

'''ASSISTANT:''' Wow! For once, ''I'm'' on top!

'''NUMBER TWO:''' I'm ''this'' close to letting go, I swear I am.

''{Harry and Assistant make it over to the other side.}''

'''HARRY:''' Hark! We've successfully crossed the chasm!

'''NUMBER TWO:''' Can I come over, yet?

'''HARRY:''' Yes, yes.

''{Number Two somehow retracts his limbs and gets over the chasm.}''

'''NUMBER TWO:''' Alright, ''finally''.

''{Harry and the others enter the next chamber. Inside there is a small, circular room with a single chameleon-shaped gargoyle.}''

'''HARRY:''' Astounding...

''{Harry walks up to the chameleon and starts running his hand along the surface.}''

'''HARRY:''' The stonework is... impeccable! My word, this must be at least a thousand years old, if not more!

'''ASSISTANT:''' Uuuurgh...

'''NUMBER TWO:''' Hey, before you get too excited, mind telling us what the deal is with the dead end?

'''HARRY:''' ... Wait a mo'... what's this?

''{Harry puts his hand on the chameleon' left eye and pushes in. The gargoyle's mouth opens.}''

'''HARRY:''' Interesting!

'''NUMBER TWO:''' ... That's it?

'''HARRY:''' Gentlemen... I'm not sure what to say. Perhaps we should put our hand inside the gargoyle's mouth?

'''ASSISTANT:''' That's... not a good idea. At all.

'''HARRY:''' I volunteer the pasty man to go first! He seems the adventurous type!

'''ASSISTANT:''' ... If it makes you happy, sure.

''{Assistant sticks his hand in the gargoyle's mouth. It suddenly clamps down, and Assistant screams.}''

'''ASSISTANT:''' MY HAND!

''{A hidden door opens behind the gargoyle. Harry and Number Two enter.}''

'''HARRY:''' Come, pale man!

'''ASSISTANT:''' It's... stuck! I can't get out!

'''HARRY:''' Then leave the hand behind!

'''ASSISTANT:''' ... You're kidding.

'''NUMBER TWO:''' Heh, do it! It'll be funny!

'''ASSISTANT:''' ... Hold on.

''{Assistant wriggles his arm around and pulls his arm free, sans hand.}''

'''ASSISTANT:''' FFFFFFF

'''NUMBER TWO:''' Hahaha, ewww.

'''HARRY:''' Are you alright, pale man?

'''ASSISTANT:''' ... I just lost my damn hand.

'''NUMBER TWO:''' Chill, it's just your right hand. You're a leftie anyway.

'''ASSISTANT:''' ... True, it's not the biggest loss.

'''HARRY:''' Come! There's much more to see!

''{The three continue on. In the next chamber is a massive stone pillar, with narrow stairs leading up to it. Around it is a huge lake. At the top of the stone pillar is a beam of light, coming from a hole in the temple roof.}''

'''HARRY:''' ... Wow. I haven't got the words to describe it...

'''ASSISTANT:''' ''Good''.

'''NUMBER TWO:''' So, what do you think ''this'' room's for?

'''HARRY:''' I believe this is the Sun God's altar...

'''ASSISTANT:''' Good, then we can get out of here soon. I'm losing a lot of blood.

'''HARRY:''' Shh! Come with me.

''{The three ascend the narrow stairs and arrive in front of the altar. Harry approaches the altar, and is suddenly thrown back by what appears to be a blast of light.}''

'''HARRY:''' Oof! What was that?

'''NUMBER TWO:''' Uhh...

''{Before the three there appears a massive figure made of flame.}''

'''HUITZILOPOCHTLI:''' ''WHO DISTURBS MY SLUMBER...''

'''HARRY:''' Uh... h-hello.

'''ASSISTANT:''' N-nice to meet you. I'd shake hands, but... ''{holds up stump}'' Heh...

'''HUITZILOPOCHTLI:''' ''I AM THE GREAT HUITZILOPOCHTLI, GOD OF THE SUN. WHAT BRINGS YOU TO MY CHAMBERS?''

'''HARRY:''' We come in s-search of treasure.

'''NUMBER TWO:''' Yeah, ''yours''.

'''HUITZILOPOCHTLI:''' ''... YOU ARE COMPLETELY SERIOUS?''

'''HARRY:''' Y-yes.

'''HUITZILOPOCHTLI:''' ''YOU MORTALS ARE AWARE THAT I AM ONE OF THE MOST POWERFUL GODS ON THIS EARTH, AND I CAN STRIKE YOU DOWN WITH A SINGLE TOUCH OF MY PINKY FINGER?''

'''NUMBER TWO:''' Hey, Pitfall Harry here doesn't seem to have a problem with it.

'''HUITZILOPOCHTLI:''' ''YOU ARE TRULY COURAGEOUS, AND I CAN GIVE YOU CREDIT FOR THAT. HOWEVER, I HAVE NO TREASURE.''

'''HARRY:''' R-really?

'''HUITZILOPOCHTLI:''' ''YES, REALLY. FRESH OUT OF GOLD. THOSE DAMN DIRTY SPANIARDS TOOK THEM.''

'''ASSISTANT:''' Hey! Don't say that--that's racist!

'''HUITZILOPOCHTLI:''' ''THEY TOOK OUR GOLD, KILLED OUR PEOPLE AND RAPED OUR LAND. DO YOU REALLY THINK WE CAN RESPECT THE SPANISH ANYMORE?''

'''ASSISTANT:''' ... You've got a pretty good point.

'''HUITZILOPOCHTLI:''' ''I'LL TELL YOU WHAT... I'LL GIVE YOU A COUPON FOR FREE FOOD FROM TACO BELL. HOW'S THAT SOUND?''

'''HARRY:''' ... Never!

''{Harry takes his machete and stabs Huitzilopochtli with it. The sun god emits a piercing cry that shakes the entire room.}''

'''NUMBER TWO:''' Dude! Not cool!

'''HUITZILOPOCHTLI:''' '''YOU... YOU'VE TRIED TO KILL ME! THIS IS A SEVERE OFFENCE, MORTAL!''

'''HARRY:''' Give me the damn treasure already, you fool! I'm not leaving without it!

'''HUITZILOPOCHTLI:''' ''THEN YOU LEAVE ME NO CHOICE, MORTAL... YOU SHALL FOREVER BE CONFINED IN WHAT YOU SEEK!''

''{Huitzilopochtli fires a ray of light at Harry and encases him in gold.}''

'''HUITZILOPOCHTLI:''' ''AS FOR THE REST OF YOU... YOU SHALL DIE WITH HIM!''

''{Huitzilopochtli disappears, and the temple starts to crumble.}''

'''NUMBER TWO:''' Oh, this sucks.

'''ASSISTANT:''' Come on, run!

''{The two start running down the stairs, the steps crumbling behind them. As they head to the door back, it collapses and blocks off all exits.}''

'''NUMBER TWO:''' Oh, great! We're going to die in this temple!

'''ASSISTANT:''' Not yet... Jump in the water!

''{Assistant and Number Two jump into the water and are carried down a river inside the temple. Behind them as they float quickly down the river, the passage crumbles. Eventually, the two are thrown outside the temple and out into the air--right above a waterfall.}''

'''NUMBER TWO:''' Oh, great. We're going to die in this waterfall.

'''ASSISTANT:''' Not quite! ''WHISTLE-TWEE!''

''{The Zweiblitz, out of nowhere, flies under the two and catches them both. Now safe, the two fly off, leaving the crumbling temple behind.}''

''{Cut: in front of Number Two's house. The Zweiblitz (now newly coated with a platinum sheen) lands, and Number Two and Assistant walk out.}''

'''ASSISTANT:''' So... no more vacations?

'''NUMBER TWO:''' Agreed.

''{Pause.}''

'''ASSISTANT:''' I wonder what Skullbuggy's doing?

''{The two walk nextdoor and open the door to see SkullB, Jerry and Casey, on the ground, out cold.}''

'''ASSISTANT:''' Well, they lived up to the cold opening.

'''NUMBER TWO:''' Yep.

''{Fade to black.}''

''{Fade in: the ruins of the temple. The golden statue of Harry is still where it stood. Suddenly, it cracks, and the gold breaks to reveal Harry, safe and sound.}''

'''HARRY:''' Ha-''ha''! Harry Honduras can never be killed! ''Never''! Ahahahaha-

''{A piece of rubble falls from the sky, crushing Harry.}''

'''HARRY:''' OOF. I DIE.

''{Cue credits.}''

The SkullB Show/47 - Revision history

Skub at 01:38, 12 December 2008